Shahnaaz Khan has completed her Masters in Conflict Analysis and Peace Building from Jamia Millia Islamia, New Delhi. She wishes to continue delving into relationships, be they be intergroup or interpersonal. Writing helps her understand people better, to empathise, and to value dialogue and discussion above all else.

Articles by Shahnaaz Khan

In love with a married woman | Bonobology

In love with a married woman

Shahnaaz Khan
Shahnaaz Khan
Posted on : 29 Dec 2016

It's been over six months. A sub reality where notions of right and wrong are bent

Views: 41.72k
Comments: 3
Husband

When my reluctant husband became my biggest supporter

Shahnaaz Khan
Shahnaaz Khan
Posted on : 21 Nov 2016

When she married, Prathibha Agarwal’s husband didn’t understand her motivation to work. After several years of marriage, things changed and ...

Views: 3.72k
Comments: 0
Stand By Me As I Am Grieving A Relationship, My Love | Bonobology

Will you wait for me as I cope with losing my mother?

Shahnaaz Khan
Shahnaaz Khan
Posted on : 20 Nov 2016

Coping with grief after a loss, Shahnaaz Khan writes to her partner asking for his understanding

Views: 791
Comments: 1
Love Story of a Digital Romance | Bonobology

The 'novel' real-life romance of Sudeep Nagarkar

Shahnaaz Khan
Shahnaaz Khan
Posted on : 19 Nov 2016

On the eve of their wedding, romance writer Sudeep Nagarkar relates his own real-life romance with the woman of his dreams

Views: 1.16k
Comments: 0

Discussions by Shahnaaz Khan

How do I start to think of my husband's income as our income?

I was working for more than seven years before getting married and moving countries. I had to quit my job in the process and have no earnings of my ow ... Read More


Should I play mediator for my friend's in their relationship problem?

My best friend recently shared some relationship trouble she's been having with her boyfriend of two years. Her boyfriend also wants to meet me alone ... Read More



Activity by Shahnaaz Khan

Shahnaaz Khan

Shahnaaz Khan Commented

19 Oct 2016

Comment : The best way to answer your question is for you two to speak in your vernaculars. You can make it interesting by challenging to see who will learn it first. Maybe talk in his mother tongue one week, and in yours the next week. And let us know if your communication did improve:)

So my husband and I have different languages as our mother tongues so we resort to communicating in English or Hindi. While I know his language and speak it decently, we are not used to talking in it. Sometimes it feels like it hampers the expression of feelings, or connection at some level in some contexts.

Is it just me or does it make a difference if you have the same native language? And how does one get around this?


Shahnaaz Khan

Shahnaaz Khan Commented

17 Oct 2016

Comment : May not always know. That's where communication comes in. Don't expect your spouse to guess if and why you are unhappy. Share your feelings with each other. Every relationship has its ups and downs. How one handles those is important

Men or women who go through a mid life crisis have many symptoms. But it differs from person to person. The timing differs. Someone would have it at 45, someone else at 33. The type of crisis differs. Someone would want sex. Someone else affairs. But behaviour changes. So does a relationship in the marriage. So, do you know? If not, we can discuss here.


Shahnaaz Khan

Shahnaaz Khan Commented

17 Oct 2016

Comment : Find someone that grows with you and helps you grow

It's not easy, but also not impossible as the many monogamous happy couples will tell you :)

Don't we change all through out life? Every 3-4 years we can't believe what we were 3 years back. We are smarter. Our dreams have changed. etc. If such is life and such is the way in which we change constantly throughout life, is monogamy - the act of holding on to one partner - really logical?

You were attracted to a person during a point in your life. You spent a lot of time together. You two know everything about each other and you see that you both are headed down different paths. In such a situation, does it make sense to continue with the old relationship or is it wiser to seek out a new partner who you will relate to better? Who will help you grow?


Shahnaaz Khan

Shahnaaz Khan Commented

30 Sep 2016

Comment : If not a counsellor, get a family elder involved as you two have a child. I will not tell you to either work on the marriage or move on as that is a decision you need to make after sitting face to face with your husband and looking at the options ahead. Know that things will get better. This is a rough patch, no doubt, but you will get through it. Keep sharing with close friends and family and keep loved ones by your side. All the best!

How do I deal with my husband's emotional/extramarital affair. His behaviour has suddenly changed and I have now become the other woman in his life. I have completly lost my patience,love and trust for him. How do I tackle the situation???


Shahnaaz Khan

Shahnaaz Khan Commented

30 Sep 2016

Comment : If the spouse has met the friend and is genuinely comfortable with the friendship, there should be no reason for the friendship to dwindle. In fact, they can bring plus ones to the table and go on double dates sometimes.

I want to ask the ladies and gentlemen on this forum if they have been close to a particular friend of the opposite sex before marriage and whether they have managed to maintain the same strong friendship even after they got married or has the intensity dwindled with time?



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Disclaimer: The information, views, and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Bonobology.