Kamal Nagpal, ophthalmology consultant and surgeon, is an entrepreneur and Founder of Cafe Soul Square and Soul Square well being. She has been a member and Staff at Group Relations Conferences, MAYUMERS, and AOSPOR, organised by IIM Ahmedabad.

Articles by Kamal Nagpal

Is ‘Staying Married Happily Ever After’ for Real?

Is 'Staying Married Happily Ever After' for Real?

Kamal Nagpal
Kamal Nagpal
Posted on : 15 Feb 2016

Kamal Nagpal helps de-mystify secrets to a long and happy marriage

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Comments: 1

Activity by Kamal Nagpal

Kamal Nagpal

Kamal Nagpal Commented

08 Feb 2017

Comment : What one feels at the moment is the love of their life, could also be a mistake, relationships do have to be nurtured to make them work. Having said that if one is already in a committed relationship and another very engaging prospect comes up, one could make one of the following choices based on other priorities, such as kids: 1) sacrifice the significant second relationship, it's not worth disturbing the current equation for anything, also the vows made are sacrosanct 2) walk out of current relationship which seems like a mistake, but with the awareness that the second Relationship will also demand work and nurturing 3) Try to make the best of both worlds, clandestine is fun but dangerous, with the potential to hurt all parties involved much more than the other two options.

Sometimes the love of your life comes after the mistake of your life. How do you deal with it then when you happen to realize this?

Kamal Nagpal

Kamal Nagpal Commented

01 Jan 2017

Comment : A strong and long lasting couple relationship is as much chemistry as it is commitment. Greater the commitment, Greater the Chances of being able to sustain in the wake of challenges!

The dynamics of a couple relationship changes every few months/years. What is your takeaway from the lat year?

Kamal Nagpal

Kamal Nagpal Commented

30 Nov 2016

Comment : We done "have" to, we may choose whether or not to share anything from our past with our current partners. I guess one would take this call based on the current status of the relationship, the security of the relationship, personality of the partners, and the assessment of what is to be gained or lost by revealing about past.

We are perfectly alright having our secrets that we don't share with others, especially if that would be counterproductive.

Is it ok to completely avoid talking of the details of our past relationships? Does the past really matter enough to be spoken about?

Kamal Nagpal

Kamal Nagpal Commented

06 Nov 2016

Comment : For the second part.. unexplained anger may stem from unexpressed thoughts or feelings, especially if it is perceived that expression of certain thoughts could lead to offending the other. FOR example a person may be reluctant to express to their spouse that they don't like their manners/ outlandishness/ body odour/ drinking habits etc... These are personal sensibilities and each one whether they like it or not get irritated with the other in 24/7 relationships.

One could have several reactions to such small irritations:.

1) Denial/suppression .. A mode where one wants to think that their partner is above reproach.. This would lead to either complete suppression or an outburst at some time

2) Nagging/ open conflictory: both these may lead to disruptive patterns in relationships

3) honest expression, where equality of expression is applicable on both sides and is made with sensitivity, with the right timing/tone etc

4) letting go: far from suppression, here one partner may decide that what irritates them is very small in the overall package and not worth bringing up, they can tide over occasional irritations with the feelings of greater joy of the coupledom. This is a studied response and not an automatic one

Do you think in coupledom it is important to speak of what irks about the other's behaviour, even trivia. Imperative in understanding partner's anger, where it stems from? Give why/why not please.

Kamal Nagpal

Kamal Nagpal Commented

11 Oct 2016

Comment : Personally I don't see a challenge in ones spouse maintaining long term friendships with the opposite gender. It has to be mutual of course and based on respect, trust and the idea that healthy space actually nurtures the marriage. Having said that and coming from an army family where frequent postings meant meeting /parting with friends all the time, it's also true that long term friendships loose chemistry over time without sufficient investment into them. So often when one moves towards a certain course of life, marriage and it's involvements being a very significant journey, some older friendships may automatically drop off.

I want to ask the ladies and gentlemen on this forum if they have been close to a particular friend of the opposite sex before marriage and whether they have managed to maintain the same strong friendship even after they got married or has the intensity dwindled with time?

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