Zephyr aka Cybernag is an author and blogger with years of experience in writing and editing. Her writing spans the gamut of social issues, family and relationships. Her hugely popular series L&M and the Brats, is a tongue-in-cheek look at the antics of an average middle class Indian family – and has been published in national newspapers. In her other avatar as Thangamani, she is a grandmother and children’s writer, whose stories are part of several anthologies. She has also written two popular books - Children who made it Big and, When they were Children, published by the National Book Trust. Check out her blog, The Cyber Nag

 
 

Stories by Zephyr aka Cybernag

Dealing with In-laws and other family dynamics in India

Independence is my middle name

Zephyr aka Cybernag
Zephyr aka Cybernag
Posted on : 28 Apr 2017

She does not think tradition or social mores or even the children's own stated desires should influence a mother's decision on where she liv...

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Much Ado Over Common Interests In Relationships | Bonobology

Are common interests necessary for a lasting relationship?

Zephyr aka Cybernag
Zephyr aka Cybernag
Posted on : 26 Aug 2016

Blogger and author Zephyr takes on the popular notion that couples must share interests in order to have an enduring marriage. But of course...

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Activity by Zephyr aka Cybernag

Zephyr aka Cybernag

Zephyr aka Cybernag Commented

28 Apr 2017

Comment :

While gender roles still follow stereotypes which means that women end up with a bigger load on their plates, but I have also observed that many women are too particular about how some work around the house should be done. So they prefer doing it themselves. As for those who are put upon by the others, notably by the husband, it would come as a surprise, but a firm 'no' or 'I don't have the time' said, again firmly works like a charm. Try it it you don't believe me :)

The modern Indian woman who wants to have a job, excel at it, manage a house, a baby, relationships, be the perfect wife, doting daughter and DIL, hands on Mommy. Is she taking up too much? Are we really sharing the load? Should the division of labour /responsibilities be spoken upfront with the spouse? Is it wrong to disucss these things at the outset and decide on who takes on what? 

 


Zephyr aka Cybernag

Zephyr aka Cybernag Commented

30 Jan 2017

Comment : It is true that the couple might have had many individual or combined dreams when they were younger, but often they can't be fulfilled in the later years. For instance I love travel and couldn't indulge in it during my younger years due to job and family responsibilities. Now, when I have no responsibilities, my health doesn't permit me the luxury as I am one of those creatures of habit and routine and fall ill if they are disrupted in any way. I substituted other dreams and am very happy turning them into reality. The husband on the other hand had only wanted to teach underprivileged children (we never shared interests that way!( and is doing admirably realising his dreams.

In my opinion, one has to have realistic dreams when young which can be modified, junked or replaced as one grows older to suit one's physical, financial and social conditions. It is not always possible to pause and take up an interest that one had in his or her younger years. The trick is to not feel resentful or regret what can't be helped. After all, change is part of life and the sooner we embrace it, the happier we will be.

At times I wonder whether senior citizens revive an old, forgotten, unfulfilled dream after spending decades together as a married couple. Or maybe they come up with a new dream and make it a passion to ensure it does not remain a pipe dream this time.



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