Vivek Surendran is an engineer-turned-marketer-turned-journalist who believes that words can change the world. He is constantly struggling to figure out whether he’s a writer, a photographer, an entrepreneur or a messed-up combination of all three. 

 
 

Stories by Vivek Surendran

We are more than friends | Bonobology

Less than lovers, more than friends

Vivek Surendran
Vivek Surendran
Posted on : 20 Feb 2017

He’d been feeling empty inside ever since his breakup but then he met her

Views: 2.39k
Comments: 0
How to forgive after getting cheated | Bonobology

Forgiving my partner's affair to reclaim my life

Vivek Surendran
Vivek Surendran
Posted on : 15 Nov 2016

He trusted her, but was the trust strong enough to forgive her transgression?

Views: 9.91k
Comments: 6
Bonobology | In Love, Or Just Comfortable With & Used To Your Partner?

Together because of love, or because it's habitual and easy?

Vivek Surendran
Vivek Surendran
Posted on : 06 Jun 2016

Should you love, leave or stay? What should you do when your relationship is in a conundrum?

Views: 861
Comments: 2

 

Activity by Vivek Surendran

Vivek Surendran

Vivek Surendran Commented

24 Apr 2017

Comment :

Yes. Being on social media platforms, one after another, is not just a habit of mine, but also a work requirement. This has certainly impacted my relationship and my partner flagged it multiple times. I completely understand how annoying it could be when you are having a heart-to-heart and you find your partner, in my case me, itching for a gap to get hold of my phone and check social media feeds. 

Smartphones and internet, anyway, have ruined our lives.


Vivek Surendran

Vivek Surendran Commented

24 Apr 2017

Comment :

Marriage is a socially constructed norm to ensure the parties involved "feel" they are committed enough and do not indulge in physical relationships outside it, and a setup to ensure property/wealth is secured.

I am sorry, but I guess you don't understand the point of a live-in relationship because, like millions of Indians, marriage is the ultimate destination of a relationship, but it is not. 

Two individuals can stay exclusive and committed without getting the tag of being married and being in proximity or being miles apart would not affect the relationship if they are honest enough and committed enough. 

I never quite understood the point of a live-in relationship. You want to stay exclusive and committed but not enough to marry and share lives forever. Why not just date until you decide if you both want to marry and live together and maintain separate lives until then?


Vivek Surendran

Vivek Surendran Commented

20 Mar 2017

Comment :

There is nothing irrational about indulging in a friends with benefits relationship until both parties are clear about it. Sex is a bodily need and it's not necessary that there should be emotions to ensure it's fun. If one of the partners end up developing feelings for the other, it's time to take a call -- whether to stay or leave -- and this happens often. Best thing to do is to be open about it and having a conversation about it. If you don't expect emotional support from that person, tell them that. If you think you can take this forward, tell them that. If you are sure you cannot have that emotional connect and companionship, it's better to leave.

Is it rational for someone to be in a friends with benefits relationship? How logical to have sex with somebody and still opt out of any emotional bonding? And, what if one of the partners end up developing attachment with the other partner?


Vivek Surendran

Vivek Surendran Like this

20 Feb 2017

We are more than friends | Bonobology

Less than lovers, more than friends

Vivek Surendran
Vivek Surendran
Posted on : 20 Feb 2017

He’d been feeling empty inside ever since his breakup but then he met her

Views: 2386
Comments: 0

Vivek Surendran

Vivek Surendran Commented

18 Feb 2017

Comment : My thoughts could be a bit scattered but I'll try to make sense.

Men are expected to be chivalrous. They're asked to hold the door, pay the bill etc..And I think it's a good thing. Like my boss says, men wouldn't come into existence had there been no women. I feel women should command that men pay the bill or hold doors. This is one side of it. And I would not judge a woman if she's aware that women are in every way better than men, and hence commands respect. This is one side of it.

Being a feminist, I feel every human being should expect fellow human beings to be chivalrous and courteous. Regardless of gender, both men and women should hold the door, be kind, be thoughtful, be generous and be just. In this case as well, I wouldn't judge anyone, men or women, who want the other person to pay a bill, or if that person wants to pay.

Third part to this. If you go on a date and feel you'd never click with the person midway, split the bill maybe. If you're looking forward for many more dates, ensure you take turns. I also feel the person who earns more, who obviously can afford more, should pay. Be it a man or a woman.

We've all been on atleast one date. And it was probably a coffee shop or dine out or movie or something. Traditional 'dating rules' say the guy must bear the damages. But with changing times, is this rule changing too?

It's just a bill - not about life and death - but people do judge and what we do in certain situations can give out signals.

What do you think? What did / would you do?



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