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Its because of the same logic that doesn't allow Indian couples to speak even about the excitement of their sex life, let alone abuse. For us sex is a taboo. Thats how we are timed and taught. Abuse is also an aspect where many women are frightened. They do not have a place to go to. Not financially independent. So many stay back and may be many women are even taught that sexual abuse by a husband is a common and accepted affair. How many of us even talk on marital rape! We don't
Hi Saheli thanks for the comment. Yes, sex is thought to be a taboo. Aspect of abuse is same for both genders because both are afraid to speak about the harassment done on them by their abusive partners during sex. Marital rape is a mirror of this sexual abuse but then this can be dominated if the victim comes out to talk to proper people and gets properly counseled or treatment.
I think we Indians really want to project the perfect image. And many think that it is their husband's right to demand sex. No sex education in our curriculum. Isn't it obvious we are where we are?
Nice name modernromeo. Thanks for the reply. Yes, true to some extent that we try to portray the image of perfectness every-time & conceal the worst. But I disagree to the husband thing because in many cases it's the feminine which proves to be sexually aggressive and demanding. Sex education is important but more important is to get treatment or counseled if you feel that there is some abusiveness in your spouse or your character. As said " a stitch in time saves nine" so too a proper treatment of this can heal the relationship scars.
It's a bit of both. Talking about sex is way too taboo and the worst of laundry washing in public. It is also so personal that unless the abuse becomes extreme, it is difficult to draw the line. Sometimes a person may be inspired by porn etc and not even realise that what they are doing is abusive. Holistic Sex education is paramount.
Thanks Nayantara for the reply. Yes, that's the reason why sex education is important. Until & unless the victim talks the society isn't going to help. Even there are counseling which might help both the partners to get through their situation which they think to be a taboo. Talk and explain about the situation faced to reliable sources then only shall there be a solution to it. Simply hiding it doesn't lessen the wounds instead it deepens the scars.
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In the grey area
What is your pet peeve about your wife/girlfriend?
What if your relationship is like roommates rather than soulmates?
How easy or tough is it to maintain the long distance in a relationship?
Alone and Single at 50! Do we really need a partner for our later years or we can just about go through the remaining years just as easily?
A friend chats with young men, men about 10 years her junior but I see that she is the happiest of the lot amongst us. We are all righteous but angry all the time.
Top 3 priorities of a long term marriage
Should a spouse not active and passionate in relationship, object to partner being in another relationship ?
Can a man and a woman remain friends even after marriage?
Why are older women falling on Younger guys for fulfillment of their desires ? Somehow they are often not sexually attracted to their husbands, desire is temporarily rekindled when they suspect their husbands are unfaithful, are contemplating infidelity, or when their husbands show signs of moving on. The vacuum created due to work pressures between them. Sometimes women married for couple of years to the same person have a stronger temptation and they go in for a bit of a change in their lifestyle to experiment their libidos. Life is temporary , so let us give it a try is the motto . Infidelity is no more a sin . Of Course we are seeing from ancient scriptures . The Question is " Is there something beyond sex and lust ?
Is emotional infidelity at par with physical infidelity? Which hurts more?
Is it wrong to get attracted to someone while you're in a happy relationship?
It has been seven long years and I still cannot get it out of mind that people can listen to us have sex!
Should I feel guilty if I feel attracted to someone while I am in a happy relationship? Does that amount to cheating?
Today's headline in TOI where wife is taking husband to the court for watching porn in excess is quite an eye opener. what is the experience of couples about watching porn? How much is enough? What and who decides? Are marriages suffering due to easy availability of porn on the Net??
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