Thanks for signing up. We hope you enjoy being part of this community and interacting with fellow bonobos over stories, discussions , counselling and contests!
Birth Date :
Your Email Address
One thing we have to understand is that love...an emotion, a feeling that we feel towards someone or something is not a quantifiable commodity. If it was measurable, we can say, I love her equally, or more or less or 10% or 100%., or whatever. But, it is not measurable, is it? A wife is no one else but a woman bound by contract to you (and vice versa). I presume you have feelings that you categorise as love towards her. But does that deplete you of the capacity of that feeling anymore? No. Now if you do develop a similar sentiment, feeling or emotion towards another woman (I'm assuming this case as a man, but the case remains same for women as well), is the love you feel for your wife getting affected? Why? Let not the the societal norms of morality define our capability to feel love. It may not be socially acceptable to lead a life with two different partners, but that does not mean that loving more than one is not possible, or that even the idea is a farce! In fact, it is a reality in all our lives. I know that some will acknowledge and accept this, albeit quietly, but others will just deny their suppressed feelings, to portray a sense of misplaced righteousness.
I agree with you, however, partially. Love is an emotion and hence not measurable. Still, you can feel how it diminishes with the entry of a person into life. Therefore only the custom of marriage, a contract of course, and the concept of morale is made. I have seen married people having affair with their ex or a colleague at office,with whom he/she spent most of the time. Even then they are carrying on with the normal life with their spouses. Perhaps, they are pretending having a perfect life.That's when this doubt occurred to me.
I have seen married people having affair with their ex or a colleague at office,with whom he/she spent most of the time. Even then they are carrying on with the normal life with their spouses. Perhaps, they are pretending having a perfect life.
That's when this doubt occurred to me.
Funny question!! Well nothing is impossible... Lol... But from the ethical point of view, it doesn't seem justified. A man who is not ready for a faithful relationship shouldn't jump into a marriage...Then there are people who claim that an occasional fling brings back the connection in married life, but I wouldn't advocate the need for a fling...
All are faithful initially. Changes occur with the passage of time. People start finding some of their colleague/ friends more friendly and caring than their spouses. Then, slowly they start drifting towards them with the hope of something more. Then, who doesn't want more!!
Then, who doesn't want more!!
How I see it is if your love life in the marriage has stagnated another intimate relationship can really get things back in action. But I am always a believer in talking about it. Loyalty and trust are such important elements of any relationship. I wouldn't want to cheat on my wife and if the feeling of looking out for another love interest is mutual both the partners can do that to get things rolling together as well.
But I am always a believer in talking about it. Loyalty and trust are such important elements of any relationship. I wouldn't want to cheat on my wife and if the feeling of looking out for another love interest is mutual both the partners can do that to get things rolling together as well.
It is difficult to happen on mutual understanding. At least in India in the present scenario. Maybe in future, when we are more developed, when we are more busy, such things can happen.
Bonobology Communities are group forums where our registered users can post questions/issues and other users can discuss those, offer suggestions, etc.
To start a discussion, please click the 'Start New Discussion' button and choose any of the communities the question is about and post it to that community.
I want to ask the ladies and gentlemen on this forum if they have been close to a particular friend of the opposite sex before marriage and whether they have managed to maintain the same strong friendship even after they got married or has the intensity dwindled with time?
What do you do when you connect to a person very well while texting, but can hardly feel the connection in person. Is it that the other person responds over texts after thinking but can't respond well because he hardly gets any time to think when he finds you sitting right across? What do you do about the awkward silences that follow?
The dynamics of a couple relationship changes every few months/years. What is your takeaway from the lat year?
Do you think feminism and feminist ideas are leading to more disputes in marriages and couples?
I've seen most of the Indians having issues with PDA or Public Display of Affection or intimacy, do you have an issue? If so why?
Don't we change all through out life? Every 3-4 years we can't believe what we were 3 years back. We are smarter. Our dreams have changed. etc. If such is life and such is the way in which we change constantly throughout life, is monogamy - the act of holding on to one partner - really logical? *p**p*You were attracted to a person during a point in your life. You spent a lot of time together. You two know everything about each other and you see that you both are headed down different paths. In such a situation, does it make sense to continue with the old relationship or is it wiser to seek out a new partner who you will relate to better? Who will help you grow?
Should a spouse not active and passionate in relationship, object to partner being in another relationship ?
What if kundalis don't match in love marriages??
Why is it difficult to find a partner for an independent Indian lady above 35?
What is the best piece of advice you ever got regarding your marriage from anyone close to you?
Do married people dream fresh or simply revive their unfulfilled dreams during old age?
Disclaimer: The information, views, and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Bonobology.
Content Advisory: The website may contain content suitable for mature audiences. User discretion is strictly advised. Wish to share your story with us? Mail us at: email@example.com
Stay updated with the latest at Bonobology by
subscribing to our newsletter
And register as a user to unlock more features!