Can friction over money break a couple despite love?

Money is never an easy subject to address, especially in a romantic relationship. If it's a live-in then it's even worse. But friction does happen over managing money, deciding whether an expense is a necessity or a luxury, if both partners should be equal contributors, if the one who is contributing more should have a greater say in matters of money? Questions are too many. But the biggest one of them is: can it break a couple, in spite of them being in love otherwise? What do you think?


 

How to spend or save money can be one of the many contentious issues in a marriage. The obvious reason is that the couple differs in what money means to them – the pleasure in the things it can buy (what to spend it on) or the feel of stability it provides (savings). When these pleasures or stability factors are critical to either of them, it can trigger deep dissonance. The less obvious reason is that while we are capable of managing plenty of differences, it depends on our readiness to manage these. If the marriage already carries deep dissonance, money simply becomes an additional factor and can even be the last straw on the camel’s back.

  • Madhuri
  • Posted: 01 Jan 2017
Reply

Absolutely not. I don't know what the scenes for married couple are, but coming from a family of love marriages all around me, I never saw any money-related fights in the family. Taking my parents' example, my mother comes from one of the richest families in my city (her grandpa was a Member of Parliament), and she married a 'commoner'. The kind of luxury she was brought up in, she didn't get it at her in laws'. There was never an issue because of that.

But coming to my generation, I myself had been in a live in relationship for a while. Honestly, money was never an issue. We both had our jobs, and while I was the careless spender and couldn't save a penny, my guy was the saving type. Every month after I would spend my entire salary, I could only take care of the necessities with the remaining money towards the end of the month. And my guy would pamper me with all the things I label as 'luxury'.. So, you see, the bottomline is, you need to have that kind of understanding with your partner and it depends upon the 2 people whether or not they want money to be a deciding factor for their happiness.

I gave two examples where money never played a role in deciding the happiness of the couple. Rest, you decide. :)

Reply

Here's my old 500 Rupee note on this:

Couple decides to meet based on gamut of reasons, let's say primary - yes generalizing. Let us break this into why I personally would like to be in a relationship.

A) to feel loved

B) to get lots of awesome sex, fore-playing, hugs and let's not go all nuts here with details you get the point ;)

C) companionship

D) because of money

E) because attractiveness of your possessions e.g. IIT Bombay, IIM-Amdavad, Oxford

F) Job security

E) Nice khandaan - Dad is mafia and Maa's a well-known politican so Yay :P

AND YOU SEE - List is never ending

So, coming to back to the topic; yes, it surely can break the couple's relationship and sometimes, even things like heart, bones and willingness to live, depending upon how weak and strong they become in the process.

our reactions to the situation reflects our willingness to adapt.

Therefore, it's better to begin with a clear mindsets. Take one failure at a time. Yes, you can date that swanky girl with a diamond in her eyes but always remember - loving is a good feeling. Fighting for it makes you a good person perhaps but never belittle your worth to have anyone who you love in your life, more than your own life. Love yourself and if you pass the love's burning ass-kicking tests - you will stay VIJAY (winner)!

Good luck, love is beautiful; regardless of whether it comes in the form of a Lamborghini or Scooty.

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