Why do men shy away from relationship discussions?

I find that women find it easy to talk about partners, men like to keep mum? Is it that they do not feel as much or they just think it is strictly private business?


Oh plz that's not true raksha

We don't shy away.

We only don't get enough time to discuss it


Well, men who keep quiet about their partners are doing so because they feel that it is their private business. However, there are some men who like to brag about how they dominated in bed on their first night, to their friends. Both these men are found in feudal households. Ultimately, it depends on how men are brought up during their childhood. If they are taught by their parents that talking about their partners in public is bad, they will not do it when they are adults. So it all depends on a person's upbringing.

  • Harish
  • Posted: 02 Jan 2017

RakshaBharadia: Yeah...but what I was getting at was men generally do not like to talk about relationships. But yes you are making a point to.

This is an age-old discussion but is something that needs to be unearthed regularly to create an understanding of how this can be a potential deal breaker in a relationship. The act of discussion of emotions that one feels with someone in the concept of a relationship is a precarious act to engage in. When a significant other has to edge towards the topic to talk about it is generally met with resistance from the other and in majority of relationships where one person can identify as the dominant partner - generally a male - the idea of talking about feelings is an act of emasculation that occurs in their psyche.

This can also leave the initiator of the conversation in a different light being seen as needy and insecure by the dominant personality. There is always a matter of tact and suttle coercion that needs to occur when one raises this topic in order to ensure that the discussion remains honest without any judgement against each other.

Like in sex you will bare your physical self with your intimate partner, are you the type that wants the lights out when you get to it or are you okay with being seen in natural light? It’s almost the same way that one can attribute a discussion of emotions.

The questions you need to ask yourself before you decide to 'talk about it'

If a talk about emotional quotients is being tabled between a couple the following in my opinion need to be carefully navigated and for obvious reasons.

1. Why do you need to talk about your feelings or host this discussion with your lover?

2. Why do you need to hear what your partner has to say? Are you not clearly seeing this in your relationship during day-to-day acts of affection?

3. Are you trying to jump the gun and are the type that wants to have a forecast of where your relationship is going?

4. Are you jealous of your partners’ minimum requirement of affection to function daily? Do you need more love from or feel you need to give more?

5. Are you scared and of what?

The outcomes to prepare yourself for

1. You WILL push your partner to a point where you will make them feel inadequate.

2. They will see you as a needy person who can't seem to be in check with his/her feelings.

3. You will drive each other apart and force the emasculated partner to seek comfort in another's arms.

4. The two of you will grow to love each other more if your discussion does not end up in a full out argument.

These are just some of the basic outcomes I can attest to from previous relationships and discussions with other individuals. I hope this helps here.


RakshaBharadia: Lovely Naufal! Let's use this as a full fledged piece? Write and send?

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