Why do men shy away from relationship discussions?

I find that women find it easy to talk about partners, men like to keep mum? Is it that they do not feel as much or they just think it is strictly private business?


 

I have had this discussion with a couple of male friends. And I have known both kinds- the ones who don't talk about their relationships at all, and a few who are quite expressive and open. The majority are the former, of course.

A friend once told me that he feels very comfortable and secure not talking about his relationships. Not even to his family members at times! He feels that there is no need to talk about something so 'personal and private'. But I think that is his opinion.

Another friend was always very open about all his affairs. Rather, proud of it! But when he found the girl he has ultimately settled down with, he was very secretive about it. It was only much later that friends got to know that he was seriously seeing someone and intended to marry her. Perhaps, this is what happens to guys when they actually fall in love! They don't want anyone else to eye their lady love?!

Men, in general in my opinion are very private people. They have their boundaries very clearly set on how much to discuss with whom. They perhaps have that one friend (male or female), with whom they can share everything. A group of friends with whom they discuss women in general, or casual flings. Friends with whom they just like to drink and party and not discuss anything about their personal lives. I guess we all have that too. But men are very pragmatic and under no circumstances let anyone into their lives more than required.

I don't believe that men don't feel as much. I have known men who are extremely emotional about their partners, or their relationships. Some have been hung up on their exes for years after the latter moved on! They feel. But they think it's too 'girly' a thing to express their feelings, lest they will be made fun of. Or being emotional isn't a macho thing.

Also, they don't like to talk more than necessary. And hate being questioned! So I guess this is another reason men don't like to talk about their relationships. They don't like interfernce, and letting someone else become curious about their relationship, a big no!

So I guess they have reasons best known to them (which can be very annoying for us women), to be so private or at times even appear stuck up. But men will always be men, and nothing in this world will change that! :-)

Reply

I think men themselves are not sure what they are feeling. and when they do know, they are afraid of coming out as an emotional cry baby and that won't go with their macho personality. that is why most wives cry because their husbands are unable to express themselves or avoid relationship issues. 

somewhere women are to be blamed too. we think it's our responsibility to feel everything and we feel enough for the both. think about it if a single girl is approached by a caring say-everything- on-the -face kind of person then he would be marked as gay and if the same guy approaches as aloof or sturdy then he will be an eye catcher. 

men love to express when they do know what they are feeling. it's just the fear of coming out as not so manly I think.

Reply

RakshaBharadia:

Hi Rupali,

'we think it's our responsibility to feel everything and we feel enough for the both', what an observation. Yes, we somehow end up taking thier thing on us....thanks for this viewpoint! 

Men are from Mars, after all, and their responses are bound to be different. Most men have been brought up to keep a stiff upper lip and not show their emotions. Maybe this is what makes them less impulsive and more constrained as far as such discussions go. It is not that they feel less; it is just that they express less!

Reply

RakshaBharadia:

Deepti, I do feel that somehow men also hmmmm can compartmentalize things more...and thus in a way do feel less! My pov...:)

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