Why do men think that helping the wife is shameful or makes them henpecked?

A friend of mine says that her husband helps her with chores only if she agrees not to discuss the same in his family, he is OK lending her support but no one should know, especially his mom. What is shameful in letting the world know that a husband cares for his wife?


O same old story. It is again the mom. Who always made him feel that you do not have to do any chores. And this husband is scared that she will come and tell him how is he helping the wife when he never helped his mom. Joru ka ghulam. He will never have the guts to say that you never asked me to help and my wife does. When a mom appreciates that her son is helping his wife, he will never be shameful to disclose it. Come on men, grow up. Respect your mom, love her, but then your wife is also important. Why is there this feud between these 2 relationships? 

  • Sukanya
  • Edited: 02 May 2017

it's not about the shame. it's more about the image. not every guy helps his wife but those who do want to keep it hush or their family or friends may think of them as "joru ka ghulam". you know that he loves you when he helps you in the kitchen but the same thing may be frowned upon by his friends and family. just because he is a man. 

and besides think about it, if his mother fond out that he helps you, her precious little boy helping you in household chores she would hate you more than she already does.


There is no shame attached to it. I think its high time that he takes a stand and be vocal about his assistance in the household chores. Times have changed and his parents should also be made aware of the fact. It is sheepish to act like a 'male' figure in front of his parents and be pretentious behind them. It is completely okay to perform household work as it will not rob him of him of his masculinity.


What is this space?

Bonobology Communities are group forums where our registered users can post questions/issues and other users can discuss those, offer suggestions, etc.

To start a discussion, please click the 'Start New Discussion' button and choose any of the communities the question is about and post it to that community.


Disclaimer: The information, views, and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of Bonobology.