Q: I am 32, my husband is 29. In the eyes of the world, we are hot, happening and madly in love with each other. Both of us are successful in our careers. We work hard, party harder. We have amazing sex. And yet, why is it that every morning when I wake up, I feel this bitterness? My bones feel too heavy; my soul feels old. I hate to get out of bed. I know I am depressed. But I cannot pin point the reason. I am afraid if I do not deal with this right away, it will affect our happy, hippy life.
If, you are largely happy with your husband, your marriage and your profession, and you are not able to sort of put a finger on when and why the blues started, it might be a mild form of depression that you might be facing. Depression in many cases is endogenic too, i.e., does not have a clear and probable external trigger associated to it and is largely an effect of a neurochemical imbalance. Please do not take this column advice as substitute for a proper in-person diagnosis with a clinical psychologist and a psychiatrist.
The reason I chose depression over other probable cause for your symptoms, is because these symptoms are close indicators of that. However, I would be highly cautious, if I were you, to not read up too much about the symptoms of depression or any other probable cause for now. I would first see a therapist or clinical practitioner.
In all of this, it is important to remember that compassion towards yourself and the issue you face is the key to not exacerbating it. This is more common than you think, and even if it weren’t that common, it is still not something that can’t be managed and dealt with. I wish you all the best.