I'm over possessive and jealous that my boyfriend finds a certain celebrity hot

Name Withheld | Posted on 20 Mar 2017
Counsellor : Snigdha Mishra
She became possessive because of what she heard about him | Bonobology.com

Q: Hi ma'am! I've become over possessive about my boyfriend! We have been in a relationship since 1 year and 8 months. We are really serious... we both are committed and have made promises. I am the only child of my parents and I have a habit of not sharing my favorite things. Same goes for him too.

He just told one of his friends that Urvashi Rautela (a celebrity) is hot. After I came to know that he said this I am feeling he doesn’t love me. Am feeling depressed, Please help.

A:

Hello,

I am glad that you can reasonably analyse that you are "over possessive " about your boyfriend. You have also mentioned that you are both committed to each other.

In order for you to feel better, help yourself with answers to these questions.

1. What does commitment mean to you?  

2. What is it about the situation that is so upsetting? Is it your reaction or that he said something about a celebrity?

3. Look for evidence for your thought "he does not love me". Ask yourself, is this factually true? Can 10 people corroborate this as a fact and give evidence that he does not love you?

4. Does his liking someone mean he doesn't love you?

5. Even though you are an only child of your parents, how does that mean that you are incapable of sharing?

6. Are you really sharing him as your boyfriend with anyone else?

7.Both of you may have other relationships in your life, namely friends, family, etc, In case you are looking forward to this as a long term commitment, How do you think this belief of not sharing him will help you?

 

Answer the questions objectively. You may be able to help yourself out of feeling low. In case you need further assistance, do not hesitate to ask for help.

 

All the best 

Snigdha

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