Question: I am in a relationship since the past five months and I have a difficulty in understanding my partner’s priorities. She tells me that her first priority is her friends and only then do relationships feature. Also, she doesn’t ‘get’ time to spend with me every now and then. I can’t understand what I should do to have a normal relationship with her where – as a boyfriend, even I am a priority. Please help!
Answer: Yes, a partner is a priority. I can see that what disturbs you is that you’re her second priority and that she spends lesser than expected time with you. Well, you can’t really do much if she thinks so. Give the relationship time and communicate your needs to her. Open communication between partners can resolve many issues. In order for you to help yourself understand the situation better ask yourself the following questions.
1. What exactly about her ‘friends being the first priority and relationships second is disturbing me?
2. Even if it is true that I am her second priority, what does it mean about me?
3. What am I ready to bring into this relationship in the present scenario?
4. What efforts have I made to effectively communicate my relationship needs to my girlfriend?
When you answer the questions above, look at it rationally and keeping in mind your relationship goals. I am sure this shall help you!
All the best.
Read here, a young lady's complaint about her boy friend not spending enough time with her and counsellor Deepak Kashyap's advice to her.