As an expecting parent, the thought of what will your baby look like may weigh on your mind a lot. You may not mean to be particular or fixated upon certain characteristics but you definitely care about it strongly. Who would the kid resemble more? Would he or she have any traits of the grandparents?
During pregnancy, you probably think about these things a lot. And once your baby finally is in your arms, the speculation begins! Caramel eyes, tiny lips, conehead or big ears – you begin to scrutinize it all. Parents are definitely a little concerned about figuring out who the baby resembles more. But society around you is almost obsessed with it.
The Inevitable Question – What Will Your Baby Look Like?
What’s interesting is that this concern does not end here. A barrage of inquisitive questions is rained upon parents by friends, family and acquaintances. This concern with regards to a stranger’s baby’s looks is almost remarkable. This probably makes parents a little bit more anxious too. Give them a break, having a baby is hard enough as it is.
When I was a kid, my mom and dad were often told that I do not look like them at all. So, as is usual, my looks were broken down and compared to every random relative and long-dead ancestor to know exactly from whom I borrowed my genes.
My forehead was compared to my maternal grandma’s, my nose is apparently like my grandmother’s, and my back like my grandpa’s. I was not seen as a happy little kid but more like a map of the family. I was just a mere derivative of the familial gene pool. The more it happened, the more it began to amuse me. I got used to it personally but thought the whole concept also intrigued me a little.
While people’s nosy habits can get on your nerves sometimes, just like me, you have to get used to it. A fun way of dealing with this is by playing around with them a little. Every time somebody asks you, ‘Omg, what will your baby look like? I bet she will have your eyes,’ don’t sigh and walk to the other corner of the room.
Have a little fun with it and continue the chat. You are new parents and you are allowed to break some rules. Here are some quirky responses to people who are obsessed with worrying about how and who your baby looks like:
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You know why the kid doesn’t resemble you?
1. “Yeah, I do. He took after our dog”
This will work especially well if your child likes to roll around in the dirt. If not, make him sit down and bark. Then turn to your friend and say, “See?”
Bonus: This might work too well and make your social life disappear completely. Which is brilliant if you hate people anyway.
2. “Don’t you think he looks like our boss?”
Say nothing else. Raise an eyebrow, smirk and moonwalk slowly away as your friend fumbles to say something.
Confuse them with calm acceptance
1. “Potatoes don’t always look like other potatoes. They’re still potatoes.” Or “All biryani is good biryani.” This one is my personal favorite.
2. “Oh, thank God. I knew it was a government conspiracy but no one would believe me.”
Look terrified and start muttering about aliens and Time Lords.
3. “What child? I am a virgin still. Don’t be preposterous.”
Look very confused and remember to hold your child’s hand the entire time. I find it hilarious just reading it.
4. “Dammit, I should call customer service and demand to have my money back!”
Take out your phone and start dialing a number immediately as if trying to call customer service. By the time you are done, your friend will have vanished.
5. “We prayed to our Lord and Saviour Adolf Hitler. Looks like he delivered”
Stick on a tiny mustache under your child’s nose for believability.
Weird them out with words
1. “Yeah, he tends to look like the teapot I grew him in.”
Then start finding similarities between your kid and your favorite teapot. For example, point out how the kid’s nose looks like a teapot snout and keeps leaking.
2. “I must have mixed something weird in the potion.”
Or, better yet, “I know! It’s a robot. Doesn’t it look fantastic? Say hello!
3. “You did not see us. This conversation never happened.”
For better effect, both you and your child should put on your shades and walk away briskly while looking around as if to check if anyone’s following. They will be too confused and weirded out to bring it up again at all.
Kids are like cats. They may not look like you or even like you, for that matter, but, in the end, you are stuck with them and do the best you can while trying to hold your sanity together. Questions like, ‘What will your baby look like?’ are just undue pressures on yourself and your favorite new tiny person.
So, in case, someone still thinks it wise to point out exactly how your child differs from you, you have all the freedom to be snarky. Bring out your inner super sassy villain and burn that damn idiot to the ground. With your words. Not with fire. That might cause additional problems.