Indian mothers-in-law are stricter than your maths teacher ever was at school. All of us who are unmarried are more scared of the prospective mother-in-law than the marriage itself. And from the ‘Saas-Bahu’ serials, all of us have learnt that our mothers-in-law are worse than Hitler and leave no stone unturned to make our life hell. Here are a few things we apprehend or might have already experienced if we have an Indian mother-in-law or MIL.
10 Things You Will Relate To If You Have An Indian MIL
What is it like to have an Indian MIL? If you ask this question to any married Indian lady chances are 90 per cent would answer you with one word “hell”. Relationship with the Indian MIL – if the bahu is living together or living in a separate accommodation – is never amicable. The Indian MIL, who is hyper possessive about the son and hasn’t yet learnt to let go can expect the bahu to bow down to her domination without a single question. There are things Indian MILs are famous for some of which include continuous manipulation, interference and playing the victim card.
Surviving some Indian MILs can be a really hard task especially when they make your daily life an uphill task by constantly creating rules. If you have an Indian MIL, you will be able to identify with these 10 perspectives.
Related Reading: My Mother-In-Law Denied Me a Wardrobe and How I Gave Her Back…
1. You cannot wear your favourite Western wear
Because jeans are an absolute no-no. So are tops and skirts. Too much skin is bad for the Indian society and so it is for the Indian mother-in-law. People might make lewd comments or your character assassination might happen anytime. After marriage, your dressing choices are bound by whatever she says, at least in front of her. So you reluctantly stack up your favourite pair of denims for that trip with your husband.
2. Household grocery should be the best buy of the month
The Indian MIL is very particular about whatever you buy throughout the month. Even if you are a working woman, you have to keep in mind her choices or preferences especially while buying household grocery.
Because you have to be the star of the kitchen and that obviously makes you a great daughter-in-law.
3. Your husband’s health depends on your cooking skills
If you don’t cook well you will inevitably fall into the bad books of your mother-in-law. Most Indian MILs hold their daughter-in-law responsible for everything that happens to their sons. She is often very nosy and makes life difficult for you. So that small digestive problem is of course, your fault.
And mind it he inevitably had no digestive issues before you came into his life. So stop using all that oil and ensure you make a sumptuous breakfast and a healthy lunch box for hubby dear before you leave for work. Your Indian MIL always ensured the bacteria in his gut stayed healthy, now why can’t you – the supposedly smart modern bahu?
4. You can rarely go to your ‘maika’
Indian MILs do not like you to leave the house for long, especially if you want to go to your maternal home. ‘Lakshmi’ gone for a long time is never a welcome move. Also, who would do the daily household chores?
And if you want to escape hell don’t try to even think of sharing your income with your parents. She has all the right on your hubby’s money but your parents, oh gosh, taking money from a daughter? The Indian MIL most often can’t understand what the times have come to.
5. Getaways with your husband are a terrible choice
By some secret logic, she hates it if you and your husband go on trips or dates together. She is constantly annoyed and makes it a point to tell you how unruly you have been or the difficulties she faced while you were away. Beware, this might stem from the excessive love she has for her son.
And God help you if you come home late after a party with your husband. She might go into an indefinite fast because she is so hurt that you could do something like this. The fast could only break if you promise to never do it again.
Related reading: 10 ways to show your MIL that you love her
6. Babies are a must, or else you might be infertile
Somehow she is convinced that if you do not conceive by the end of the first year, you seriously have some sexual health issues or worse even, that you are infertile. Remember, it is never the man’s fault. And your wishes do not matter.
And the questions are asked to you and not to the son and could be asked when you are serving dinner to a room full of relatives. Be prepared for this constant invasion into your most private affair.
7. She will love you like a mother, at times
In spite of everything, she will love you like your mother and try to build a relationship with you. Take into account the generation gap and do not be too harsh on her. If you care for her, she will love you back.
And mind it she will have her good days and bad days. On good days she might even hand over the gold necklace, the family heirloom to you and on bad days she could ensure that your hubby wouldn’t talk to you for the next 7 days because she has done her manipulations so well.
8. She is very good with all the life-saving skills
She belongs to a generation who is expert in a lot of life-saving skills which will come very handy especially with such busy lives. Now sewing that torn button or making the haldi milk isn’t such a big deal.
But you get to learn a lot of these household skills from her that you never knew was part of the Indian tradition. Be a good student and pick up the nuances, it will only help you in the future.
9. Both of you will go saree shopping
Women love shopping and no matter whatever your clothing preferences, you will obviously love to go shopping with your mother-in-law, especially for sarees.
Yes some moments are good with the Indian MIL so savour those while it lasts.
10. She is your not-so-favourite nanny cum advisor
When you conceive and even before and after your pregnancy, your MIL will be your best friend. She will love your child and help you out with all of it. After all, your child is her grandchild. And she has children of her own.
She would love her grandchildren dearly and your relationship with her could improve after the child comes along because she would get too busy with diaper change and tel malish of the baby to bother about your hubby dear. You make the most of this phase.
No matter what the serials say it is not so bad to have an Indian MIL because she understands how it is to be in a conservative household and will surely help you out. With modernity, a lot of things have changed around us and so has the ‘saas-bahu’ relationship.