You get invited to a party at a popular bar in your city. You make new friends and end up having a massive crush on one of them. After a few drinks, you end up asking her out and bingo! She says ‘yes. The two of you head to her house sloshed and eventually ended up making out right in the living room. That’s it, after a night of (hopefully) great sex, the next morning you wake up, say goodbye and get on with the routine.
This is how many one-night stands happen. Of course, there are other ways too, where two strangers end up in bed just to enjoy a sensual night together. You might call it infatuation or a sudden rush of adrenaline that tempts you to give in to sexual desire.
Like any situation where desire comes into the picture, one-night stands can either make you happy and elated or leave you distraught; it all depends on how one handles the situation. If you’re wondering how to handle a one-night stand, or your emotions afterward, read on.
What Are One-Night Stands?
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The dictionary definition of a one-night stand is: “A single sexual encounter in which there is an expectation that there shall be no further relations between the sexual participants. The practice can be described as sexual activity without emotional commitment or future involvement.”
The idea is to have some fun and part ways. In some instances, the one-night stand might just be the beginning of a long-lasting relationship. Or maybe all parties concerned have a great night together and part ways fully satisfied. These are the upsides to a one-night stand.
On the other hand, maybe one of you is wondering, “Is it okay to have a one-night stand at all?” Or “Will it lead to a toxic relationship?” Again, it depends on how you handle it.
Facts about one-night stands
You probably already know the definition of a one-night stand even before you got down to understanding its finer nuances. The answer to ‘what is a one-night stand’ doesn’t even begin to cover what experiencing it may feel like or why you’d want to indulge in one, to begin with. To get an insight into these intricacies, let’s looks at some research-backed facts about one-night stands:
- It’s in your DNA: Research indicates that an inherent affinity for one-night stands can be pinned down to your DNA. People with the gene DRD4, which is associated with behaviors that make you feel good in the short term or bring instant gratification, are more likely to engage in one-night stands
- Narcissism: A study indicates that men who prefer one-night stands to stable, meaningful relationships could be narcissists
- Booty calls stump one-night stands: If you’re looking for great sex and a mind-blowing orgasm, a booty call to a friend with benefits could be far more satisfying than a one-night stand, thanks to the element of familiarity in the former equation
- It is emotional: Well, there may not be an emotional connection in a one-night stand but that doesn’t mean that it is not driven by emotions. Attraction is a strong driving factor behind people engaging in a one-off sexual encounter, and that is driven by emotions
- Physical attractiveness at play: The chances of getting laid in a completely no-strings-attached one-night stand are governed by physical attractiveness. According to a study, this is especially true in the case of women looking for a prospective partner to sleep with as a one-off
- Closely linked to depression: One of the alarming facts about one-night stands is that casual sex is closely linked to mental health. People who’re depressed, have suicidal thoughts or engage in self-harming behavior are more likely to have casual sex
- It can be liberating: Since you’re not trying to impress your sexual partner, one-night stands can be a liberating experience. You can truly push the boundaries of your sexual experience without worrying about your body or appearance
How Typical Are One-Night Stands?
Data scientists at DrEd.com asked 500 Americans and 500 Europeans how they feel about one-night stands, and how many they’ve had so far. The survey found that 66% of participants had at least one one-night stand in their life – that’s about 660 of the 1,000 people they asked.
Even in India, the idea of hooking up with someone for a night sounds like a cool idea to most youngsters. Many mid- and high-level executives who travel for work end up having sexual encounters while on tour.
One-night stands are also grabbing the attention of those looking for quick-fix solutions to every desire. With no commitment attached, a quick sex session is the best way to indulge in sexual fantasies.
12 Things You Need To Know About One-Night Stands
The first thing to understand fully about one-night stands is that they are just what they imply – a night of fun and casual sex. You may get into a long-term relationship with someone after a one-night stand, but that is rare and should not be expected at all. The first rule of handling this casual encounter the right way is to make sure your expectations are in sync.
Sometimes you can easily forget about them the next morning, while at others, you may regret a one-night stand for the longest time. It is all how about you take it, and how you tune into the concept of having sex without any strings.
You never really know how your one-night stand may turn out to be, so be ready for the unpredictable. Here are some tips for pulling off one-night stands successfully and things you must be careful about when you decide to have a night of casual sex:
Related Reading: 8 Tips To Enjoy One Night Stands And Have Amazing Sex Without Regret
1. Pick a safe venue
Don’t just jump at the offer of having a night out with a stranger. Women especially need to be careful while deciding on the place to spend the night at. It is best to ask the guy to come to your home, as you would know where the keys or knives are (just in case).
Or settle for a reputed hotel room – leave out all the shady motels and cheap places that rent by the hour. Guys, if you want to have fun, let the women decide where they want to be taken.
2. Be open and cool
Now that you have both consented to a night of pleasure, don’t take guilt or fear to bed. Enjoy the company, the night, and give in to your sensual desires. It is a consensual casual sex episode between two adults, with no strings attached, and should be viewed as such.
The two of you being consenting adults, a one-night stand is not an earth-shattering event. Be cool about it and do not let fear or inhibitions eclipse your enjoyment. When in bed together, do what your hearts want and give in to each others’ physical desires. Keep the mind aside.
3. Spice, adventure and fun
Since it is going to be a one-off sexual outing, why not make it an affair to remember? This is the time to be adventurous, wild and wacky with the partner. There are no inhibitions, and there is no limitation.
Try new tricks, positions and places to make out if your partner also feels the same. Get experimental and give in to your fantasies. At the end of it, you should feel drained and happy, ensuring your part on a satisfying note.
Related Reading: How does a woman’s body change after losing virginity?
4. Be gentle and kind to each other
One of the most important tips on one-night stands is to avoid being disrespectful while talking to each other. Knowing that the two of you are in it willingly, be kind to each other. Be kind and gentle to each other during the act too, and don’t be rough, unless you’re both into that.
Communicate well, share a few jokes and melt the wall of unfamiliarity. It is a one-night stand, but you never know where it might lead. And even if it leads to no more than a night together, there’s nothing wrong with making the experience more fulfilling by showing each other affection and warmth.
Chris and Rhea met at an office party and ended up going back to Rhea’s apartment together. Although they hadn’t really spoken before, they talked, laughed and made each as comfortable as possible. When they made it to bed, there was a warmth and familiarity that made the sex all the more pleasurable.
5. Offer a drink or two
What to do on a one-night stand? If it’s your home, treat your partner as a guest, pamper them and make them feel comfortable. Offer drinks and snacks just to break the ice. If you are in a hotel room, ask for some room service and spend some time warming up to the idea of having sex.
Just spend time in conversation before you do the deed. Even if you’re not planning to make this a long-term relationship, it doesn’t hurt to be courteous and polite.
6. No commitment, please
Don’t expect to find solace in your sex buddy once the night is done. Do not ask your partner to share his or her contact details in the hope of getting back together again. It was a sexual encounter with no strings attached. No point in expecting any emotional support after a one-night stand.
All your feelings are yours alone, and you should be mentally prepared to deal with them. Be clear not to foster too many feelings in your heart, as they can be painful.
7. It’s all about sex
Ladies, if you’re worrying about unshaved legs or an unkempt home, shove these thoughts aside. The guy is only looking to have some fun and move out. He is not your boyfriend, so relax and enjoy the sex. Treat this as a one-time thing and do not try to bring the perfection of a romantic makeout into the equation. Don’t spoil the fun by overthinking.
8. It can be the hottest sex or a regrettable night
Is it ok to have a one-night stand? If you’re in a dilemma over that thought but really want to give it a try, look at the positives of the experience. Having sex with someone who you may never even see again and who is a stranger to you may just push in a rush of adrenaline.
You don’t owe them anything, and you can simply walk out after this night. If you can both let your fantasies go wild and explore your desires, you may end up having super-hot sex with no strings attached. But it can also be regrettable if one of you holds themselves back. The fire will just not ignite!
Related Reading: Why Both Men And Women Must Be Generous In Sex
9. You can back out
“What if I show up at their place but then change my mind?” If you’ve been wondering about it, know that it is perfectly okay to say no and get out of the deal. There are no rules that say that once you have committed to a one-night stand, you have to have it. Apologize and move out without creating a scene.
Remember, understanding consent is key to every experience, sexual or otherwise. Let’s say, if a woman has invited you home but then decides that sex is not on the cards, you don’t get to sulk or make her feel guilty. Be a decent grown-up and make a graceful exit. No one owes you sex at any point in time.
10. Be honest with yourself
To make sure that you know what you’re getting into, be clear about what to expect before the ball starts rolling. Talk to each other about what your expectations are from the night and the morning after.
Clarify with each other where the two of you are heading and that it will possibly end once the night ends. In case the two of you decide to meet after a one-night stand, don’t expect too much from the ensuing meetings. Keep your one-night expectations clear and unencumbered.
Related Reading: 10 Real Reasons Women Regret One Night Stands, And feel Guilty
11. Don’t go on a guilt trip
Many women feel guilty after a one-night stand, wondering what it says about their character and their chances of finding lasting love. Research suggests that only 54% of women wake up feeling positive after a one-night stand while 80% of men feel good after an episode of casual sex.
Women tend to feel used and beat themselves regretting the night. Don’t fall into this trap. Treat it as a good experience and learn to move beyond it. Having a good time and healthy sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of.
12. It’s sex, but maybe it’s also love?
The basic rule of a one-night stand is to have a night of fun and casual sex and then never see each other again. But sometimes, there are exceptions. A survey conducted revealed that about 27% of people who started with a night of fun and hot sex, ended up having real long-term relationships. Well, you never know what may come up!
As long as all parties concerned are on the same page, as long as you’re having a good time and showing basic kindness and good manners to one another, a one-night stand can be a great night and an all-around win-win experience.