Relationships 101

12 Things you need to know about one-night stands

The realities of one-night stands. Not all pleasant, though.

You get invited to a party at a popular bar in your city. You make new friends and end up having a huge crush on one of them. After a few drinks, you end up asking her out and bingo! She says ‘yes’. The two of you head to her house sloshed and eventually end up making out right in the living room. That’s it, the next morning you wake up, say goodbye and get on with normal routine.

This is how a one-night stand happens. There are other ways too, where two strangers end up in bed just to enjoy a sensual night out. You might call it infatuation or a sudden rush of adrenaline that tempts you to give in to sexual desires. One-night stands can either make you happy and elated or leave you distraught; it all depends on how one handles the situation.

What are one-night stands?

According to the dictionary definition, ‘A one-night stand is a single sexual encounter in which there is an expectation that there shall be no further relations between the sexual participants. The practice can be described as “sexual activity without emotional commitment or future involvement”.’
The idea is to have some fun and part ways. In some instances, the one-night stand might just be a beginning to a long-lasting relationship. This is one of the benefits of this sexual encounter. On the flip side, girls might feel distressed after a one-night stand if it does not fit their psychology. Guys generally feel that it’s fun to have no-commitment sex.

How common are one-night stands?

Data scientists at DrEd.com asked 500 Americans and 500 Europeans how they feel about one-night stands, and how many they’ve had so far. The survey found that 66% of participants have had at least one one-night stand in their life – that’s about 660 of the 1,000 people they asked. (Source)

Even in India, the idea of hooking up with a partner for a night sounds like a cool idea to most youngsters. Many mid- and high-level executives who travel for work end up having sexual encounters while on tour.
One-night stands are grabbing the attention of many who are looking for quick-fix solutions to every desire. With no commitment attached, a quick sex session is the best way to indulge in sexual fantasies.

one night stands
One night stands are meant for casual sex

12 things you need to know about one-night stands

The first thing to understand fully about one night stands is that they are just what they imply – a night of fun and casual sex. You may get into a long-term relationship with someone on a one-night stand – but that is rare and you should not expect this at all. Sometimes you can easily forget about them the next morning, while sometimes, you may regret a one0night stand for the longest time. It is all how you take it, and how you tune into the concept of having sex without any strings. You never really know how your one night stand may turn out to be, so be ready for the unpredictable. And here are things you must be careful about when you decide to have a night of casual sex.

1. Pick a safe venue

Don’t just jump to the offer of having a night out with a stranger. Women especially need to be careful while deciding on the place to spend the night at. It is best to ask the guy to come to your home, as you would know where the keys or knives are (just in case). Or settle for a reputed hotel room – leave out all those shady motels and cheap places that rent by the hour. Guys, if you want to have fun let the women decide where they want to be taken.

2. Be open and cool

Now that you have decided to do hanky-panky then don’t take guilt or fear to bed. Enjoy the company, the night and give in to your sensual desires. It is a consensual casual sex episode between two adults, with no strings attached and should be viewed like this only. The two of you being consenting adults, a one-night stand is not an earth-shattering event. Be cool about this and do not let any fear eclipse your enjoyment. When in bed together do what your hearts want and give in to each others’ physical desires. Keep the mind aside.

Related reading: How does a woman’s body change after losing virginity?

3. Spice, adventure and fun

Since it is going to be a one-off sexual outing, why not make it an affair to remember? This is the time to be adventurous, wild and wacky with the partner. There are no inhibitions, there is no limitation. Try new tricks, positions and places to make out if your partner too feels the same. Get experimental and give in to your fantasies. At the end of it, you should feel drained and happy, ensuring you part on a satisfied note.

4. Be nice and good to each other

Avoid being disrespectful or inhuman while talking to each other. Knowing that the two of you are in it, be good to each other. While making out too, be good and gentle to each other and do not take things in a rough manner. Talk good stuff, share a few jokes and melt the wall of unfamiliarity. It is a one-night stand, but you never know where it can head. Keep calm, smile and show each other some warmth and love.

5. Offer a drink or two

If its your home, treat your partner as a guest, pamper him/her and make them feel comfortable. Ask for a drink and snacks just to break the ice. If you are in a hotel room, ask for some room service and spend some time getting warm to the idea of having sex. Spend time chatting before you get laid. Just being courteous and polite goes a long way.

6. No commitment, please

Don’t expect to find solace in your sex buddy once the night is done. Do not ask your partner to share his or her contact details in hope of getting back together again. It was a sexual encounter with no strings attached. No point in expecting any emotional support after a one-night stand. All your feelings are yours alone and you should be mentally prepared to deal with them. Be clear not to foster any such feelings in your heart, as they can be painful

7. It’s all about sex

If you worry about unshaved legs or an unkempt home, shove these thoughts aside. The guy is only looking to have some fun and move out. He is not your boyfriend, so relax and enjoy being laid. Treat this as a one time thing and do not try to bring perfection of a romantic make out into the equation. Don’t spoil the fun by overthinking.

8. It can be the hottest sex, or a regrettable night

Think of it. Having sex with someone who you may never even see again, and who is a stranger to you may just push in a rush of adrenaline. You don’t owe him anything and you can just walk out after this night. If you both can really let your fantasies get wild and explore your desires, you may have the hottest sex. But it can also be regrettable if one of you holds himself back.

The fire will just not ignite!

9. You can back out

Related reading: Why both men and women must be generous in sex

After landing at the place, chances are you might want to back out. It is perfectly okay to say no and get out of the deal. There are no rules that say that once you have committed for a one-night stand, you have to have it. Apologise and move out without creating a scene.

10. Be truthful to self

Don’t fool around with the idea of a one-night stand. Be clear in your head before the balls start rolling in. Tell each other what the two of you are heading to and that it will end once the night ends. In case the two of you decide to meet after a one-night stand, don’t expect too much from the ensuing meetings.

11. Don’t go on a guilt trip

Many women feel guilty of committing a crime after a one-night stand. Research suggests that only 54% women wake up feeling positive after a one night stand, while 80% men feel good after an episode of casual sex. Women tend to feel used and beat themselves regretting the night. Please don’t fall into this trap. Just take it as a good experience and learn to move beyond.

12. You might head for a relationship

The basic rule of a one-night stand is to have a night of fun and casual sex and then never see each other again. But sometimes, there are exceptions. A survey conducted reveled that about 27% people who started hot with a night of fun and sex, ended up having long-term real relationships. Well, you never know what may come up!

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