12 Tips To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back And Keep Him

August 23, 2023 |
Updated On: August 23, 2023
Spread the love

How to get your ex-boyfriend back? If you have been mulling over this question, know that it is possible to get back together with an ex. The important thing is to make sure he stays once he is back, otherwise you risk getting caught in the dangerous on-again-off-again relationship pattern. And that’s where most efforts to get an ex back fail.

If thoughts like “I still love my ex-boyfriend and I want him back”, “how to win my ex-boyfriend back”, or “how to get my ex-boyfriend back” are running in your mind, know that to get your man back, you have to begin by reminding him of the special connection you once shared, overlooking the differences, and making him realize how great your relationship was. A breakup brings emotional baggage, guilt and chaos, which can become suffocating to handle when you’re already dealing with the void your boyfriend left.

If you are still hung up on your ex and want to make him yours again, you need to stop wallowing and start taking action. The first step is to develop an ex-boyfriend recovery plan that will not only make him want to be with you again but also not want to leave. But what exactly is this recovery plan? How do you put it into action? How to get your boyfriend back for good? We are here to answer these questions for you.

12 Tips And Tricks To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back

How to get your ex-boyfriend back after you broke up with him? How to get your ex-boyfriend back fast? How to make him want you back? How to get your ex-boyfriend back even if it seems impossible? These could be questions clouding your mind. Before you set out on the journey of getting him back in your life, you need to do two things.

First, no matter how bad the breakup was, you must get a hold of your emotions. If you don’t, your objective of getting your ex back or even making him want you back will never be successful. It’s imperative that you work through your feelings and get over the breakup fast so that you can think clearly about what you want.

Yes, if the relationship ended because he cheated on you or dumped you, getting over the hurt and negativity can be hard. However, given that you’re still pining for him, you need to come up with a plan to make him want you badly. The journey to understanding how to get your ex-boyfriend back begins with this step.

Second, reflect on the relationship you had, the person he was, and most importantly, the person you were with him. Go after him only if he’s worth it and your relationship is worth reviving. If your relationship didn’t make you happy, it’s time to move on. You deserve better, and there is someone out there who can give you the happiness and fulfillment you deserve in a relationship.

After figuring out these two things, if you still find yourself running on the “I want my ex-boyfriend back” track, then get ready because it will not be an easy task. The good news is, it isn’t impossible either. Here are 12 real tips on how to get back with your ex-boyfriend when has moved on.

Related Reading: 18 Definite Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back

1. To get your ex-boyfriend back, start looking for answers

The first tip on how to get your ex-boyfriend back even if it seems impossible is to look for answers within. We’re seldom ready to accept that whatever went wrong could be our mistake. We love blame-shifting in a relationship. He might have initiated the breakup, but you must go deeper and find out what exactly went wrong.

When relationships end, we only focus on the bigger picture or talk about big mistakes. But a relationship isn’t always ruined by big mistakes. There are so many small slip-ups and hurtful moments that we choose to ignore or overlook but they stay in the back of our minds. Mostly when the little things or gestures start getting ignored, you start losing the charm in the relationship.

start looking for answers

These little things can cause havoc in a relationship and your psyche without you even realizing it. What went wrong should be your question if you want to understand how to get your ex-boyfriend back. If the answers you find make you want to mend the relationship and make him yours again, just go ahead and do it.

2. To make him want you back, hold off on contact

Another solution to your “I still love my ex-boyfriend and I want him back” quandary is to hold off on contact. Often when we are looking for answers, we might find ourselves surrounded by hundreds of other questions too. This can make you go into a spiral of conversations about what went awry and other aspects of your relationship. Trust us, this can trap you and your ex into an endless loop of confrontational conversations, and the goal to get your man back fades out of focus.

So, how to make him want you back? Know that the no-contact rule works more effectively than being constantly in touch. If you are not in touch with him, you will find the answers all by yourself. Besides, it will also give him the time to introspect about your relationship and make him miss your presence in his life.

Even if you had a mutual breakup and are on good terms now, it’s advisable to keep your distance at least for some time. To make him yours again, you need to fan his curiosity. There is no better way of doing this than by exiting his life for a while.

3. Stop blaming him for what happened

Stop blaming him for what happened

If you’re constantly asking yourself, “How to win my ex-boyfriend back?”, know that you need to stop blaming him for whatever it is that went wrong with the relationship. A relationship is never a one-way street. Maturity lies in understanding that you both made some mistakes that cumulatively ruined your relationship to an extent that parting ways seemed like the best way out. So, it’s imperative that you put the blame game to rest.

Especially if he did something wrong and you dumped him, then bringing up past issues and reminding him of his mistakes definitely won’t help you get your man back. He too must be hurting over the fact that you left him. You really do not want to rub salt on his wounds when all you want is to get your ex back. This is the time to practice forgiveness and make things right again.

Infographic on how to get your ex-boyfriend back
Follow these steps to get your ex-boyfriend back?

4. Work on your self-worth before you try to get your ex-boyfriend back

Before you look for tips on how to get your ex-boyfriend back fast, you need to work on your self-worth. Relationships should be a part of your life, not vice versa. Don’t make him the center of your universe. You shouldn’t put your life on hold just because he is gone. Grieving is okay but it’s also important that you try to keep all other aspects of your life as functional as possible.

If you don’t do that, you are making him more important than all other things in life. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons the relationship didn’t work out in the first place. Maybe, you made the relationship your life and inadvertently started being a clingy girlfriend. If that’s the case, you need to work on yourself before you even begin to make sense of how to get your boyfriend back. 

If he was the one who dumped you, then there is all the more reason for you to introspect and work on your self-esteem and self-worth issues. Learn to love yourself. To get your ex-boyfriend back when he broke up with you, you have to show him that you are in a great place emotionally and are truly a self-respecting person who knows what they deserve in life.

How to get him back after pushing him away? Well, stop being clingy and do not try to get your ex back fast by text messaging constantly or telling him that you cannot live without him. If he realizes that you have grown as a person and that your life doesn’t revolve around him, he might consider giving the relationship another shot.

Related Reading: My Boyfriend Still Talks To His Ex, What Should I Do?

5. Show him that you have evolved

Another tip on how to get back with your ex-boyfriend or make him want you back is to be a happy and content woman, and genuinely so. Don’t put up an act just to get him back. Instead, embrace the fact that you deserve to be happy with or without him. Maybe you can be happier with him, but even without him, you should know how to be happy.

Finding answers to how to get your ex-boyfriend back can be a self-reflective journey that focuses not just on your relationship but also on you as a person. The point is, if he sees you happy, that might make him miss you. It will remind him of the good things about you and the good times both of you spent together. 

He might also get curious to know if the breakup affected you at all. Seeing you happy and unaffected will make him miss you and want you back in his life. This may drive him crazy but it is also the perfect way to get your ex-boyfriend back when he has moved on. Even if he has moved on, seeing how happy and fulfilled you are is going to make his heart ache for you.

This can be a turning point, and you must know what to say to get him back. Reminding him of the happy memories that you built as a couple is a great way to show that you are not the kind of person to get bogged down by negativity. He will realize how wonderful you are and might just want to get back with you.

6. Get your ex-boyfriend back fast by text messages

How to get your ex-boyfriend back? After you are done arousing curiosity and intrigue, you can finally start talking to him again. By this time the negativity and need for space will have ended, which means you can re-enter his life without seeming like an unwelcome botheration. So, send him some texts, try to keep in touch and make him your friend again.

Remember, you can talk about anything and everything under the sun, except your past. You must make him realize what he is missing in his life and not bring up all the sad incidents of the past, which will only make him run further away. You must make him miss you by making him remember the good times you shared.

You don’t need to have romantic conversations but you can talk like friends sharing details about your life. Don’t hurry things. Keep it uncomplicated till he realizes that he too wants to be with you again. This could work wonders and is indeed one of the perfect tips on how to get your ex-boyfriend back.

7. To get your ex boyfriend back when he has a new girlfriend, remind him of your bond

Another tip for your “I want my ex-boyfriend back” desire is to remind him of the bond that you once shared. If you were a friend to him before being a girlfriend, be that friend again. If not, then work on developing a genuine friendship with him. Figure out ways to become friends with him but be aware of maintaining your distance and don’t overstep any boundaries. 

He should not doubt your motives and know that your intentions end at friendship only. You must be smart enough while doing this because, when he has a new girlfriend already, he could freak out and retreat if he feels that your presence might threaten his new relationship. So, don’t throw hints or flirt away as if there’s no tomorrow.

This is the most important step to get your ex-boyfriend back in your life, even if there is a new woman in his life. If you get here, then you have accomplished half of the mission. Don’t let his new girlfriend dishearten you. You know him well, and you can be his pal – someone whom he can open up to and someone who listens. Leave romance and sex out of the equation for now. What you two have is undeniably stronger than what he has with the new girl. Work on the friendship for the time being and the rest will follow.

8. Once friendly, ask your questions between conversations

How to get him back when he’s already dating someone or seems to have moved on from the relationship? This is where your newfound equation can work to your advantage. When you see a healthy friendship blooming, start teasing him about his girlfriend or finding a girl and whether she would be better than you or not.

Now you can even bombard him with the questions you had in your head. Again, be careful and smart. What to say to get him back? You can try something along these lines, “Why don’t you go out with her, I’m sure she would not irritate you with her habits as I did” or you can even say “Does she cook a mean spaghetti like me?”

This will eventually initiate a conversation about the past that is undeniably going to come up no matter what you do. He might start talking about what he didn’t like about you. Or he might tell you he has been thinking that life cannot go on without you. Either way, a lot of your questions will be answered! We hope this answers your questions about how to get my ex-boyfriend back.

9. Confrontation can help you get your ex-boyfriend back when he has moved on

He says he has moved on but that might probably not be true. So it is time to confront him and break this bubble he is in. This is the key to the million-dollar question of how to make him want you back. He may be trying to convince himself that he has moved on so that he stops thinking about you all the time.

Wait till the moment he says he misses you. And when he says this, you can broach the sensitive topic of what drove you apart. Now that you have worked on establishing a new equation with him, you both can talk about your past. Confrontations can be cathartic and a great way of healing.

Once you know what went wrong, you can easily rectify and address the real issues. Now you can move on from “How to get my ex-boyfriend back?” to “What should I do right to make sure he never leaves?”

Related Reading: Ignoring Someone You Are Attracted To? Do It With Finesse

10. Do you both still have feelings for each other?

Before you figure out how to get back with your ex-boyfriend, understand if you still have feelings for each other. Don’t get caught up in ego games or make it the goal of your life to make him want you back just because he dumped you and you want to prove a point. The process of how to get your ex-boyfriend back starts with your own intentions being crystal clear.

If you realize after confronting him that he doesn’t have feelings for you, drop your ex-boyfriend recovery plan and move on with your life. This whole point is lost if he is no longer in love with you. No matter how many great ideas you have about building a better, more robust relationship with him, they will not yield results if his heart is not in it.

If he has made it clear that he loves his new girl or is over you completely, it might be time to ensure a closure and start a new chapter in life. But, if he has feelings for you and you too love him, then the time is ripe to get your man back. Nothing can stand in your way now.

11. Talk to his closest pals to get your ex-boyfriend back when you broke up with him

Your ex-boyfriend must have someone he turns to in times of distress, his shoulder to cry on, his support system. That’s where you too should turn to understand how to get your ex-boyfriend back even if it seems impossible and rekindle your romance. Talk to his friends and confidants about second chances you might have if you think you made a mistake by breaking up with him.

You should know the probability of you getting a second chance with him before you go all-out in your efforts to get your man back. Talk to the friend who he counts on. That person may know what aspects of your personality bother him, how hurt he was by the breakup, and what are your chances of getting him back in your life.

You could have been a selfish girlfriend or a high-maintenance one. Maybe you broke up with him in a fit and he has always hated your temper tantrums. Can you change yourself to get your ex-boyfriend back? Ask yourself.

12. Lastly, admit your feelings for him

Fix a date and don’t make it another simple or friendly hangout. You are past that phase now. Admit your feelings honestly to him and talk to your boyfriend about the possibility of a fresh start. Do not beg for another chance, do not plead, but spill your heart out and let him know that if he lets go of you, he might lose someone who really loves him and cares for his well-being.

How to get your ex-boyfriend back? Finding answers to these questions can send you on a long journey of emotional discoveries. Brace yourself for what’s to follow and keep an open mind. If somewhere along the way, you feel that you don’t want to make him yours again or get a sense that he’s truly over you, be prepared to let go of this quest and start anew. Breathing fresh life into an old relationship can be challenging, but it can be done.

How To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back – Bottom Line

It’s not uncommon for couples to get back together again after a breakup. If you’ve ended things with your boyfriend but want him back now, know that it is possible as long as you still have feelings for one another. So, don’t give up hope. You can make him want you back again. But you have to be patient through it all.

First, analyze what went wrong and accept your mistakes. It’s a good idea to snap all contact with your ex-boyfriend for a while so that you can understand your emotions and figure out if you genuinely want to get back with him. It’s also important to be happy and content on your own. Don’t make it look like your life revolves around or depends on your ex-boyfriend. 

Another tip on how to get back with your ex-boyfriend is to stop blame-shifting. Work on your self-worth and self-esteem issues. Take care of yourself. Your ex-boyfriend needs to see that you’ve evolved as a person. Develop a deep friendship with him. Figure out if you still have feelings for each other. Talk about what went wrong with your relationship. Last but not the least, let him know about your feelings for him. Good luck, girls! Make him fall in love with you again. Make him want you back again.


1. How to get your ex-boyfriend to want you back?

Do not badger him with questions and texts. Maintain the no contact rule, stay happy and when he gets curious you can establish contact with him but just remain friends. Be his support system and pillar despite not having a romantic relationship anymore. When he realizes your love and patience, he will want you back.

2. How do you tell if your ex misses you?

You know your ex-boyfriend is still in love with you when he texts you regularly, stalks you on social media, wants to know if you are doing good, and asks common friends about you.

3. How do you know if your ex secretly wants you back?

You will know if your ex-boyfriend secretly wants you back when he suddenly talks about some intimate moment in the past, wants to know if you are already dating someone else, and tries to find out if you miss him too.

4. How do you know if a guy regrets losing you?

You know a guy regrets hurting you and losing you when he apologizes to you, tries to find out if you are doing fine, stops hanging out with common friends, and drops hints that he misses you. He will text and call you often to let you know that his life is not the same without you.

5. How to get back with your ex boyfriend over text?

Talk to him like a friend. But, remember to not bring up the past. Make him realize your importance in his life, what he is missing out on. Don’t rush it. Share details about your life. Ask him what’s going on in his life. Remind him of the good times you once shared.

6. How to make your ex want you back without talking to him?

The idea is to not try too hard. Stick to the no-contact rule and focus on yourself. Take care of yourself. Do things that you like doing. Focus on your self-worth and growth as an individual. Learn to be happy and content with yourself. This will automatically make your ex-boyfriend curious and he might just miss you and want you back in his life.

How Does A Guy Behave After A Breakup? 11 Things You Didn’t Know

100 Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend

How To Find Out If Your Partner Is Cheating Online?

Spread the love

Readers Comments On “12 Tips To Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back And Keep Him”

  1. #3, #10, #12 work for my guy but I’m afraid of him yelling and getting mad at me since he’s muscular. He doesn’t hit me, he normally doesn’t yell at me unless I really did something wrong and upset him but I’m still scared. I blocked him everywhere and there’s so much bad blood from our words but I still loved him the last time I saw him. He broke my heart when he lied and said he didn’t come to visit me when I know he did. I just wish I could be in his arms and stat over. Please help.

    1. Bonobology Counselling

      Hey! I am sorry for your breakup. Getting over someone you love will always be difficult but with the right help, you will be able to get out of the situation on a much more positive note. Please mail us at counselling@bonobology.com and we can help you get the help you need.

  2. Amanda M Hardin

    I love my son’s father deeply and honestly but he got upset about me losing my job and I don’t know why and then he stop talking to me,I just want us to make things better between us

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.