Am I falling out of love or is the honeymoon phase over? When is the honeymoon phase over? How do you know when the honeymoon phase is over? These are very real and very scary questions you may end up asking yourself at some point in your relationship. Have these concerns been weighing on you lately? It is only natural to feel this way. It is a rite of passage for pretty much everyone out there when the honeymoon phase of a relationship is suddenly over.
Everyone loves the beginning of relationships. That dizzy phase when you can’t keep your hands off each other. Everything feels perfect. Even the things you would usually hate don’t seem to bother you. Love is in the air and you feel good to have someone who loves you back. You feel that your life couldn’t get any better. Ah, that glorious honeymoon phase of a relationship!
However, the thing about the honeymoon phase is that it inevitably comes to an end. When you’re basking in the glory of a new relationship, questions such as “How long will it last, what is the honeymoon phase length?” and “What happens once the cupcake phase ends?” can be extremely unnerving. But the honeymoon phase coming to an end isn’t a bad thing.
Yes, you may struggle with the “I miss the honeymoon phase” feeling but it isn’t an ominous sign for the future of a relationship, not even by a long shot. In fact, the transition from the honeymoon phase to a more settled, rhythmic pace of the relationship can be the gateway to a stronger bond. Trust us when we tell you that you don’t have anything to worry about. Well, provided you know how to deal with the “honeymoon phase is over, now what” uneasiness by understanding the honeymoon phase psychology. Pro tip: The solution is not to be frantic. It’s to read ahead.
What Is The Honeymoon Phase In A Relationship?
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Among the many stages of a relationship, the honeymoon phase is one when you begin to get to know each other. You are so much and so madly in love that everything starts to look like a dream. You feel like you are the happiest person to have walked the earth and think that you have the perfect partner. The honeymoon psychology can be quite deceiving, right?
Even the possibly irritating habits of your partner seem to look cute. You laugh at your partner’s jokes even when they are not funny. Both of you are lost in each other’s thoughts. You could not be more in love. So, when you see the signs the honeymoon phase is over, it almost feels like a beautiful dream is coming to an end. Sort of how you feel when you’re dreaming of being on vacation in Singapore and then you suddenly wake up to an alarm that jolts you to reality where you are already too late to make your morning coffee and have to head to a regular day at work.
The honeymoon period in a relationship is naturally the period when you look, feel, and do your best in the relationship. You and your partner seem to like all the same things, and agree on pretty much everything. You are acing the rules of texting while dating, messaging each other many times a day, and never forget to surprise each other with gifts. Such bliss!
But after some time, you start getting comfortable with each other and all the lovey-dovey things take a backseat. You are often spotted without your best accessories and they can be seen lounging around in their boxers. A part of you may be freaking out over this thought: The honeymoon phase is over, is it? Now what? How do you know when the honeymoon phase is over?
How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last?
How long does the honeymoon phase last, you may wonder. The honeymoon phase length usually lasts from six months to one-and-a-half years, depending on the relationship. There comes a time when you feel like you have done all that you wanted to do with your partner and there is nothing new to explore anymore.
It’s very easy to start feeling bored in a relationship after the honeymoon phase because you are convinced that you know all there is to know about your partner. There is no rush to see them anymore because they’re always around. Earlier, you’d wait by the door as they pulled up to your place, but now it’s such an everyday thing that you don’t even make it out of bed to open the door.
Related Reading: 25 Things For Couples To Do At Home When Bored
15 Signs It May Be Over For You
So, when is a relationship not new anymore? When is the honeymoon phase over? How do you realize that your honeymoon period is over? When does reality come in to sabotage your fairytale? And also, another million-dollar question: What is after the honeymoon phase?
When the honeymoon period draws to a close, bickering and relationship arguments begin to emerge in your perfectly blissful relationship. To make sure you don’t get confused over whether it is the end of the honeymoon phase or the end of the relationship, here are 15 signs that tell you that your honeymoon period is now over but not the love you have for each other:
1. You don’t call each other that much anymore
There was a time when you both couldn’t go more than a couple of hours without talking to each other. Even if you didn’t have anything to talk about, having your partner on the other side of the phone was more than enough. At times, you both would even fall asleep while having late-night conversations.
To know when is the honeymoon phase over, pay attention to how often you call each other now. If the frequency of those calls has reduced significantly, you may have exited the honeymoon period. You both go without talking to each other for hours and neither of you has a problem with that. This simply means that you’re ready to move on to the next phase of the relationship.
Related Reading: 12 Ways To Build Intellectual Intimacy In A Relationship
2. The excitement has gone
This is one of the signs the honeymoon phase is over. The butterflies that would flutter in your stomach earlier have now disappeared completely. The combination of thrill, excitement, and nervousness isn’t there anymore. You do, of course, feel happy when you see your partner, but it doesn’t feel the way it used to.
Seeing them has become a normal, secure part of your routine now. Don’t take this the wrong way. Security in love is beautiful. And you are still very happy to see them and want to wrap your arms around them like you used to. But perhaps now that the honeymoon period is over, you don’t yearn for their presence like you used to.
However, if you feel that the excitement or the spark is lost in your relationship “completely”, you may have some reason to worry then. The honeymoon phase being over indicates a sense of security, not utter boredom. If you think you’re getting sick of seeing them and are plain bored, there’s a bigger problem here. Owing to this, a breakup after the honeymoon phase can become a real risk if you and your partner are not compatible with each other. It’s possible that you are losing interest after the cupcake phase.
3. You don’t spend much time together
When is the honeymoon phase over, you ask? Here is another tell-tale indicator to pay attention to: During the first few months, there was always this longing and desperation to meet again. You both could not wait to plan the next date. You would do everything together so that you could spend as much time as possible with each other.
Now that things have normalized, you have gone back to your individual lives and have been able to build your routine around your partner. Meeting on a daily basis isn’t necessary anymore. You make plans when you both are free to meet up. This may make you look back at those dreamy days, and sigh, “I miss the honeymoon phase!”
4. You don’t feel the need to be ‘perfect’ around each other anymore
Gone are the days when you would dress to impress them. Now, you freely roam around wearing sweats or boxers in front of your partner. The ‘no makeup’ days seem to keep increasing. They see the real you and still have a smile on their face. You both don’t care about doing embarrassing things in front of each other because you are now so comfortable around one another, and you no longer worry about dating etiquette too much as well.
You may think that maybe you have started to take each other for granted but it is actually a sign of acceptance. It is not a step back but a step forward in your relationship. It is not the end but the beginning of a new phase where there is more security and acceptance. This phase too comes with its own pros and cons, mind you.
5. You’ve had your first fight
Everything was going so well, and then, your first fight swept in and shocked you both to the core. That’s the point where you scratch your head and wonder, “Am I falling out of love or is the honeymoon phase over?” Well, unless you have more proof of the former, we just think it is reality knocking at your relationship’s door saying that your honeymoon period is over. You both get into a heated argument with your egos clashing because you don’t feel the need to be agreeable with each other constantly anymore.
There are other emotions taking over in your relationship. It is also important for you both to see how you handle this stage when everything is not rosy and perfect. This reality check helps you understand whether you’re likely to break up after the honeymoon phase or if there is a future for you as a couple.
Related Reading: Seven Things That Keep A Relationship Going
6. Those ‘cute’ habits are now super annoying
How do you know when the honeymoon phase is over? When your partner’s habits that you initially liked or considered cute start annoying you. Those heightened feelings have now worn out and you see things more clearly. Those plain jokes don’t make you laugh anymore. You instead tell your partner that their jokes are silly instead of brushing them off like you used to.
The wet towel on the bed, another loud fart, forgetting to pick up the dry cleaning or messing up the food order – these small irritants over which you didn’t bat an eyelid before now become reasons for arguments. You start to notice their bad habits and may sometimes even doubt your judgment regarding them.
7. Your relationship has lost its sexual vigor
You won’t need to ask, “When is the honeymoon phase over?”, because this one will hit like a truck. You will know better than anyone else that the honeymoon phase is real and it comes with an expiration date once you’ve reached “this” particular stage in the relationship. Earlier, you two had incredible sexual tension, attraction, and excitement.
Now, you’re suddenly on your phones before going to bed, turn the light off, and kiss each other goodnight. Things between you and your partner have now cooled down. The feverish spark that you had is gone. All that sexual tension that was drawing you both like magnets has vanished and now you are more at ease with one another. Your hugs are now comfortable, not sex-driven, and you’re okay with that.
You start to feel like a married couple that doesn’t have sex all the time. Seeing new couples cuddling each other all the time might fill you up with “I miss the honeymoon phase” pangs. You both eye other happy couples and long for those days in your own relationship. But you wouldn’t give up what you have for anything – the soft intimacy of each other’s presence.
Related Reading: The Dynamics And Importance Of Sex In A Relationship
8. There are fewer fancy dates
One of the signs the honeymoon phase is over is when you start preferring take-out to a sit-down dinner or a wine tasting. You can tell yourself that the honeymoon phase is over if the number of dates at fancy restaurants has now decreased. You both have become comfortable around each other and don’t mind staying in and watching a movie. It is because you do not need to bother about making an impression on one another.
You’ve already done that, and that’s why you’re both still in this relationship. So, staying in is as good as going to a fancy restaurant. You have come to a point where the place doesn’t matter anymore, but the person does. It is one of the positive signs of the end of a honeymoon period, as it indicates that you’re settling into your relationship.
9. Feeling “bored” after the honeymoon phase
When is the honeymoon phase over? More importantly, how do you know it has ended for you? One cue is that your partner doesn’t seem as ‘exciting’ anymore. You have even finished the list of interesting things to do together. Now that you know each other so well, you may feel you have run out of things to talk about. You may think this is boring, but that’s only because of the contrast between how things were and how they are now.
Their presence doesn’t excite you anymore and you feel like hanging out with other people too. Don’t be alarmed. It only means that you can see them more impartially now. Clearly, the honeymoon phase is over, now what can you do, you ask? Well, this is your chance to get to know each other on a deeper level, sans any pretense or hiding. Your real selves are on the display, the ones that you will get to spend the rest of your life with if you choose to.
10. Your PDA has reduced
The public displays of affection too reduce when the honeymoon period of the relationship ends. You don’t kiss or hug each other as frequently as you used to. You both loved holding hands all the time in public but you aren’t doing it that often anymore. This is because you have now got used to each other’s presence and touch. You’ve started focusing on things beyond the physical aspects of your relationship. May seem like a red flag at first, but it is actually a step up in your relationship.
It can also be the other way round for some couples. During the initial days, some people are quite shy to even hold hands in public. The notion of physical touch can be a bit intimidating in the beginning. Each touch is like a shockwave. Terrifying and exciting at the same time. But the physical intimacy grows with time. The hesitant hugs have now turned to warm cuddles and you’re comfortable portraying your love in public. There is nothing new or overly exciting in hand holding now, it has become routine.
Related Reading: Physical Touch Love Language: What It Means With Examples
11. The cute little gestures have now stopped
You’ve stopped giving those little surprises to your partner. You no longer make any thoughtful gestures. This is because a part of you feels that you don’t need to impress your partner anymore, and so you can do without the little things. However, this lackadaisical tendency at the end of the honeymoon phase can be dangerous. It may even point to losing interest after the honeymoon phase and lead to a complete breakdown of the relationship.
The little things always matter, no matter what stage the relationship is in. Don’t stop doing them. If you don’t want the end of the honeymoon period to spell doom for your partnership, make sure you keep up with the date nights, occasional flowers, and thoughtful gifts, and most of all, spending quality time with each other.
12. Sex has now become routine
When is a relationship not new anymore? Well, here is a tell-tale sign: The heat in your relationship is beginning to cool off and so has your sex life. Gone are the days when you both spent hours and hours in bed with each other, only to come back for more. Your sex life isn’t as active as it used to be. Regular sex is enough and you no longer feel the need to experiment or practice new techniques.
But even though that might be one of the signs the honeymoon phase is over, don’t get too comfortable with it. Sex is the door to emotional intimacy. No matter how new or old the relationship is, you must always prioritize keeping your intimate life as meaningful and fun as possible.
13. You don’t feel the need to fake it anymore
Your partner now knows your bad habits and fetishes. You don’t go all red in the face when revealing them. If you’ve wondered when is a relationship not new anymore, reaching this stage in the relationship definitely fits the bill. It is when you both fall in love with each other’s real self and not the first impressions. There is no need to pretend to be someone you’re not after the honeymoon phase is over.
You don’t need to be on your best behavior at all times or present yourself as this always-likable person in front of your partner. You can openly talk about your likes, dislikes, and fears without having your partner judge you. You are finally in a real relationship. See, we told you, the end of the honeymoon period isn’t a bad thing. It is the beginning of something real and beautiful if you choose to see it in that way.
Related Reading: 7 Expert Tips To Help You Accept Your Partner’s Past
14. Your emotional baggage can now be shared
Is the honeymoon phase real? Oh, you will surely realize that it is once you feel this transformation. During your honeymoon phase, you probably didn’t discuss your vulnerabilities with each other. But now, you will. Everyone has their emotional baggage. You don’t want to reveal yours in front of your partner too soon, as it could scare them away.
It is when you start revealing your inner self and expose your naked truths that you are ready to show them who you really are. Being able to show each other your vulnerabilities is a sign that you’re progressing toward better and more stable phases of the relationship.
15. You miss your ‘me time’
No matter how amazing your partner is, spending too much time with them is going to tire you. Doing so many things together will make you miss your alone time. You will miss how it was to be happily single and will want to spend some time focusing on yourself and your hobbies. Your partner too will want to get together with their friends more often.
There is no need to be scared when your honeymoon phase is over or fall prey to anxiety or self-doubt after the honeymoon stage. A honeymoon period is a fantasy that has to be lived but one that will inevitably come to an end. It is when it gets over that you get to know what an actual relationship feels and looks like. Your relationship will be put to the test several times and how you overcome them is what matters.
Now that your honeymoon period is over, you might find that your relationship isn’t as exciting as before. Though the rush and the thrill might not be there, love will prevail. Excitement, chemistry, lust, and those attraction signs can always be revived and rediscovered. But love, care, and understanding are the foundation of a relationship that lasts longer than the honeymoon period.
FAQs
The honeymoon phase typically lasts anywhere between six months to a year and a half. However, it can be prolonged or shortened depending on your chemistry as a couple.
No, the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever but that is not a bad thing or an ominous sign. It just indicates that your relationship is moving forward, and you’re growing as a couple.
Yes, the end of the honeymoon phase can be unnerving and unsettling, but you can prevent it from taking a toll on your relationship by focusing on the positives.
Of course! It is the golden phase of your relationship, one that laid the foundation of your bond as a couple. What’s not okay though is to use the honeymoon phase as a yardstick to measure the health or quality of your relationship.
Such a well researched list ! loved reading this.