Being friends with someone from the opposite sex is great. It helps you understand what life is like on the other side of the gender divide and cultivate empathy. Except, when you want something more but find yourself consigned to the dreaded friend zone. This tricky place is not very different than being in the thick of a quagmire. The more you try to get out, the more you get sucked in.
How Not To Get Friendzoned
If there is anything worse than facing outright rejection from the person you are hopelessly attracted to, it’s being put in the friend zone. It’s the worst labyrinth of millennial relationships and hurts big time. Nothing can be more heartbreaking than getting really close to your crush and making all the efforts to let them know how much they mean to you and then have the friendzoned signs written all over the relationship.
If you find yourself asking ‘Why do I always get friendzoned?’ often, chances are you either being too extra in your display of emotions or nearly not enough. To correct course, pay attention to these 15 tips on how not to get friendzoned:
Related Reading: 13 Signs A Girl Likes You But Is Playing Hard To Get
1. Don’t just text, call too
Text conversations are impersonal in the sense that they do not convey the tone of your words, the warmth in your voice. Unless a person knows you inside out, communicating only through text messages leaves your advances susceptible to misinterpretation. Want to know a fail-proof way of how to avoid the friend zone? Take the time to call your love interest instead of just sharing text messages back-and-forth.
2. Be bold in your moves
We live in the age of Tinder, where people practically start dating strangers they’ve met virtually. There is no reason for you to do the hard work in laying the foundation and then waiting to make the right move and the right time. By the time you’re ready, you’ll be at your wit’s end about get out of friend zone. So, be bold and let your intentions be known as early on as possible.
Related reading: How to hint to your guy that you like him
3. Get flirtatious
To avoid getting to that point when someone places you in the friend zone and you have to endure the pain of watching them go on dates with other people, capture their attention and pique their interest in you with by channelising your charm. Flirt a little, shower them with compliments. A slight tap on the hand, a naughty smile, a wink can go a long way in letting the other person know you’re interested.
4. Don’t be too available
Yes, you want to come across as a reliable person who’d have their back and be there for them. But don’t overdo. You don’t want to turn into their errand-guy who fetches their dry cleaning, brings them food when they’re sick or down, takes their dog to the vet.
If you become that person, you’ll find yourself sitting alone and moping while your love interest paints the town red with their dates.
5. Also, don’t stalk
Stalkers are downright creepy. After a couple of accidental run-ins, the other person will know that you’ve been keeping tabs on their movements. At that point, how to know if you’re being friendzoned will be the least of your worries. You’ll scramble to even stay in that person’s life. So, no matter how lovesick you feel, don’t follow your crush around like a puppy.
6. Be interesting
When you’re both alone, be interesting enough to hold the person’s attention and interest. Strike meaningful conversations, talk about common interests, ask them about their life and get to know them better. The time your crush spends with you should be some stimulating that they look forward to an encore.
Related reading: Why is it so hard to let go, even if the person doesn’t love you?
7. Build some suspense around yourself
A little mystery can be the answer to how not to get friendzoned. Nobody cares for an ‘open book’. If you’re too predictable in your ways or lay your heart bare to your love interest right in the beginning, there will little to hold their interest and they’ll move on swiftly. But how before they tell you that you’re a friend they’ll cherish forever. Dodge that bullet by adding an aura of mystery to your demeanour. Be unpredictable in the plans you make for the both of you or hold off answering certain question saying that you’ll talk about it when the time is right.
8. Stop saying ‘yes’ to everything
If you say to everything that the other person has to say, you’re projecting yourself as a doormat they can walk all over. Liking someone does not mean losing your individuality for them. In fact, no one appreciates that. You may be doing it to come across as nice. But nice is boring, nice doesn’t make anyone skip a heartbeat. Look around for examples of being in the friend zone, and you’ll find one common factor in them all – they’re nice people.
Irrespective of how much you like a person, hold your own and don’t bend over backwards for them.
9. Exude charm and confidence
How not to get friendzoned? Try channelising your inner charm and confidence to send butterflies fluttering in your crush’s tummy. Yes, you may be a nervous wreck inside but they don’t have to know that. Remember that confidence is sexy – a classic that never goes out of style. So, make an effort to bring that out in your personality, especially if you’re stuck with the thought – ‘Why do I always get friendzoned?’
10. Take initiative
You’re the one who is lovestruck and crushing hard, so the onus of taking things forward is on you too. Instead of worrying about how to avoid the friend zone, steer clear of it altogether by taking the initiative to take things forward. Want to talk? Pick up the phone and call. Or at least drop a text. Want to meet? Make a plan. It’s really as simple as that.
Related reading: 12 Signs That Say Your Best Friend Is In Love With You
11. Use ‘touch’ to connect with them
Touch can be a gamechanger in putting your relationship with your crush on the desired path. By touch, we don’t mean intimate touch that makes you come across as a creep but casual light touches that stir something up inside the other person. Greet them with a hug, tap on their hand while making conversation, touch their back softly while walking together.
These little gestures can send out a signal that you want more than just friendship and you’ll not have to worry about what to do when someone places you in friendzone.
12. Don’t be needy
There is a difference between desiring someone and being excessively needy for their attention and affection. The latter is always a put-off. How to avoid the friend zone? It’s simple – don’t be needy. This one character trait can make or break your prospects of scoring with your crush.
13. Spend quality time together
The chances of your feelings being reciprocated are far more if you and your crush feel a deep connection with each other. The best way to do it is by spending some quality time together.
Related reading: If You Love Someone: Tell Them. Here’s Why.
14. Don’t stifle them with attention
This is an extension to the ‘don’t be needy’ advice. One surefire answer to how not to get friendzoned is to to give them other ample space to breathe and just be. Don’t stifle them with attention. It’ll douse any spark that may have been ignited between you two.
15. Be prepared to walk away
When the friendzoned signs are splashed all over your relationship with this person, don’t be afraid to walk away. You deserve better than just sitting around and waiting for someone to notice how you feel while they go about actively pursuing others. If the situation gets too overbearing, distance yourself from the person and take stock of your life from a fresh perspective. Who knows your absence may make them realise what you meant to them and they seek you out.
While these tips tell you all there’s to know about how not to get friendzoned, in the end, your instinct in your strongest ally in the matters of the heart. So, use our advice as a guide but don’t be afraid to follow your heart.