A married life brings with it a host of responsibilities and challenges. You leave behind your life, your parents and your own house, to create a new home and start a new family with your husband. This means you start your married life by placing immense trust in your husband. But what if your trust is broken by your husband who is caught cheating? Having a cheating husband for a spouse can be devastating for you.
Marriages today are given less priority by couples. Career, friends, children, etc. become the top priority for many couples, due to which they are unable to lead a successful married life. There is so much importance given to personal privacy in marriages that it becomes easier for one of the partners to get involved in an extramarital affair.
Why do husbands cheat?
Couples lack the skill of communicating with each other, due to which misunderstandings haunt their relationships. People are getting married later in life, because of which adjustment issues have become common. These are a few reasons why cheating has become a part and parcel of modern marriages.
Cheating on their wives helps boost the ego of the husbands and they feel that it makes them more manly and attractive.
Let us go through some of the causes which motivate husbands to cheat on their wives and the reasons that drive them to have extramarital affairs.
- Husbands cheat in order to get out of the shackles of married life. Since they do not have the courage to confront the wives, they use cheating as a medium of ending the relationships with their wives
- Husbands, after getting married, realise that they are not meant for serious relationships and are not ready to commit to one person. So, they ultimately end up having extramarital affairs
- Cheating on their wives helps boost the ego of the husbands and they feel that it makes them more manly and attractive
- The excitement and satisfaction that the husbands got from their marriages might have dwindled, due to which they decide to go astray
- Sometimes husbands feel extremely insecure in their relationships, especially if the wives are better looking, smarter or richer than them. So, in order to feel worthy and desired, the husbands might get romantically involved with someone else
- Due to the advent of technology, husbands find it easy to connect with their affair partners without letting their wives know anything about the extramarital relationships
- Most of the time, wives fail to appreciate and acknowledge the efforts made by their husbands, because of which husbands get attracted to another person who appreciates their hard work
- Excessive conflicts in the married life can also make the husbands look for another partner to release all the tension and stress of married life
- Husbands might cheat to take revenge on the wives who might have hurt them in some way or the other
Related reading: 10 Signs your husband is having an affair
Facts related to cheating husbands
Here are certain interesting facts related to cheating husbands:
- Around 50% of men cheat on their wives, as they are likely to cheat more than women
- Online cheating is extremely common among the cheating husbands
- Those husbands who earn more money are probably going to be unfaithful in their married life
- Husbands are not likely to leave their wives, even if they are having an affair
- The husbands who cheat usually have affairs with girls who are younger than their wives
Husbands are not likely to leave their wives, even if they are having an affair
20 signs of a cheating husband you should never ignore
Husbands who cheat devise multiple ways to keep their affairs hidden from their wives. But despite their efforts, there are certain signs that cheating husbands exhibit, which the wives need to be aware of. We have handpicked 20 clear signs of a cheating husband for all you wives out there, who have some doubts about the loyalty of their husbands.
1. A cheating husband feels guilty all the time
He is well aware of the fact that the affair is a bad idea, so he will feel guilty. Then out of guilt, he will stay away from you as much as possible. Or, do things to make up for the affair. The idea of you two being alone will make him extremely anxious. Thus, he will keep making excuses to avoid being all alone with you. He will be all goody-touchy-feely with you so that you get distracted and not talk to him about anything that you maybe finding amiss.
2. Even when he is with you, he is distracted
Physically, your husband might be beside you. But, mentally, his mind will be lost in some other thoughts. He will become absent-minded around you and not pay attention to what you are doing or saying.
3. His dress style changes dramatically
In case, you notice that your husband’s dress style is changing drastically, then it can be taken as a warning sign, especially if you are not the reason behind those dramatic changes. Having an affairs means that he will dress to impress and make extra efforts to look good on a daily basis.
4. Your husband fights with you uselessly
Does your husband argue with you without any concrete reason on a regular basis? If yes, then it is an indication of his frustration and also his guilt about having an affair with someone else. Emotional infidelity is more common than you think and has catastrophic repercussions.
5. A cheating husband becomes extremely defensive
His defensiveness will rise to such high levels that there will be no avenue for meaningful and open discussions between the two of you.
6. He stops treating you specially
He no longer plans any surprise dates for you. He forgets about your relationship milestones. Gone are the days when he treated you specially and kept you on a pedestal.
7. On the other hand, he might give you too much attention
However, if your husband gives you too much attention, then there is room for doubt. He will shower you with too much affection because he is aware of the mistake that he is doing by having an extramarital relationship.
Related reading: Reasons why men have extramarital affairs
8. He develops new interests of which you are unaware
It is good that your husband is trying out new things. But if he develops new interests and does not include you in his new pursuits, it should be taken as a warning sign.
9. Privacy becomes his top priority
It is absolutely normal if your husband requires some ‘me time’. But in case he keeps giving primacy to privacy over you and his family, then you must take heed. He might be keeping secrets from you by giving the argument that his privacy is important. He is always claiming his space.
10. His sexual style and appetite changes drastically
There is a contrasting shift in his sexual style and appetite. He will exhibit new levels of confidence in bed and might even experiment with something new. He wants to know more about pleasing a woman so that he can sexually please his affair partner. A cheating husband may also moan his lover’s name while he is having sex with you.
11. He stops sharing financial details with you
Since he will be spending money to impress and satisfy the affair partner, he will keep his financial details hidden from you. He does not want you to question him regarding how he spends his money.
12. People around you keep giving hints regarding your husband’s disloyalty
Your family members, friends and colleagues might have noticed some changes in your husband, and might have even seen him with some unfamiliar person. They might have told you about it, and given you hints that your husband is not being entirely honest with you.
13. He starts disliking family gatherings and outings with friends
Instead of spending time with his family and friends, he will think of ways to meet the affair partner as many times as possible. Therefore, he will avoid going to any family gatherings and even not go out with his best of friends.
14. Your husband might blame you for cheating on him
If he does this, when you are actually quite loyal to him, then something is definitely amiss. He accuses you of having an affair, so that he can handle his feelings of guilt. He keeps on pinpointing old incidents or highlighting your flaws all the time so as to justify his affair to himself. Classic dilemma of a cheating husband.
15. He spends too much time with technology
Your husband will keep himself busy all day long. He will be using his laptop or phone on a continuous basis. He will always be online on social media platforms and you will notice that he will be texting someone constantly. The frequency of phone calls he receives daily will also increase. He will guard his cell phone fiercely, and there will be passwords on all applications, especially the ones used for texting such as Watsapp and Hike.
16. He changes his passwords/lock key frequently
Earlier, he had no problems if you knew the passwords to his email ID or the lock key of his phone. But since now he is having an affair, he will become extra cautious and will keep changing his passwords/lock key frequently without revealing them to you. If you need to use his phone, he will make excuses not to lend it to you. Online cheating is the most common route to infidelity.
17. His body has unexplained scratches and love bites
If you happen to see any unexplained scratches and love bites on your husband’s body then you need to wake up and take some serious action. The love bites and scratches on his body will be the result of the sexual relationship he is having with someone else instead of you.
18. Your husband criticises you repeatedly
He will criticise you so much, because in his mind, he will keep comparing you to his affair partner. The qualities and characteristics of the affair partner, which are missing in you, will make him blame and criticise you repeatedly. He will look for her in you, without realising how much hurt he is causing you.
19. He fails to notice you
In the past, your husband might have noticed each and every thing you do or say. But, now he will fail to notice you and be distant. His mind will be occupied with the thoughts of the affair partner, so obviously, he will not observe you as he used to earlier.
20. You will feel uncomfortable in the relationship
Even, if you do not want to accept it, your sixth sense will tell you that your husband is cheating. You will feel uncomfortable in the relationship because you will realise when your husband is faking it and not being true to you. Wives are blessed to notice the tiniest of anomalies in their husbands, and unless you turn a blind eye, these signs are hard to miss.
On the basis of these signs of a cheating husband, you may find the foundation of your marriage dwindling. You have to learn to deal with this situation. Read on, to know how to handle a cheating husband.
How to cope with a cheating husband?
Once your husband breaks your trust by getting romantically involved with another person, it will obviously be difficult for you to trust him again. Your husband might appear regretful and tell you to give him another chance. The decision to accept him, even after the revelation of his affair, should be your sole decision.
- Get as much as support as possible from family and friends, because recovering from such heartbreak is emotionally exhausting
- Clear all your doubts, by talking to your husband straightforwardly. Ask him about anything you want to know about his affair, so that you can get a closure
- Counselling can be a good option for your husband, if you really want your relationship to work out
- In case, your husband cannot let go of his affair partner or gets involved in another affair then, you must move on, in order to preserve your self-esteem
It is up to you to find the best way to overcome the pain caused by such a treacherous relationship and rediscover yourself, in order to live your life satisfactorily. Give yourself time to heal and recover your confidence to step into the world of relationships and marriages, once again.