Remember the scene in David Fincher’s Gone Girl where Amy Elliott-Dunne looks down to her future husband cradled between her legs, performing a seemingly mind-blowing cunnilingus, as Amy tilts her head back from the edge of the bed, writhing in utmost pleasure?
Oral sex for women is a lot more intimate
Cunnilingus is an art; the kind that many do NOT enjoy and definitely not the kind all can perform well.
While “going down” seems like a natural course of foreplay for men (and very easily executed, I may add), for women, it takes a whole lot of dedication and a whole lot of time, with right flicks of the tongue and a lot of finger work to finally make her go “yes yes yes”.
Yes, it is so much harder to turn a woman on and cunnilingus rightfully executed will keep her gasping for breath and holding on to the sheets. Unlike penetration sex, oral sex for women is a lot more intimate. With thoughts ranging from “Should I have showered/washed IT a few more times before he came over?” to “Yes, yes, just keep doing that”, a woman receiving a cunnilingus is a head full of thought and a body raging with hormones. I have asked a few of my women friends and their responses were hilarious and to some extent harsh.
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All about power play
“I guess it depends from one man to another. Like, the power play becomes important when it comes to understanding the experience. If the man’s trying to woo me, he will take the effort in finding the right spots. If the man knows that he is in some way superior in the power equation, chances are he won’t go down and it will just be penetrative sex. Having said that, the first times are always a little embarrassing because I’m actually offering my vagina for “consumption” (can’t find the right word). It’s so intimate and I’m always worried about how I smell down there. Also, unless the man is experienced, he will have difficulty manoeuvring his tongue and it’s quite uncomfortable then.”
A see-saw act of desire
“…The first time a guy went down on me I went deep sea diving, metaphorically momentarily… His hand on my stomach anchored me back down. The first time a guy went down on me, I was thankful. It was like finding a rare wild flower in the depth of a lonely forest. It’s not the orgasm that’s important. It’s the willingness of the other to go down just to take you to a high. A see-saw act of desire.”
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Giving time to set the pace
“At the beginning, I was a little confused. With time, the rhythm was set and she found the right places to hit and linger and the orgasm was massive.”
Powerful yet fragile
“It’s like this extended version of reality…and when the first flick of their tongue’s roughness runs over your clit…you want to talk and tell them that it feels good but your mouth is numb and dry and words just seem futile. You can feel yourself giving in, you can feel every inch of your body trembling with pure lust. This subtle heaviness starts to build up in the pit of your stomach and it grows like storm clouds. Holding on to sheets becomes mandatory because your body feels so weak and so euphoric all at the same time. The pit builds up and builds up till the time you climax and that is when you know this is the most empowering drug you can ever taste. You feel your body heat combine with theirs and your breathing is palpable. It’s the most gorgeously fragile experience you can have.”
So, there you have it. Oral sex for women is not just a physical participation but a deeply emotional one as well. It is an act of complete trust and physical intimacy at its pinnacle.