4 signs that show you are in an abusive relationship

These were some insidious signs I missed in what I thought was an ordinary relationship.

I understood abuse as physical only and he never laid a finger on me! But…


Related reading: What is abuse in a relationship?

1. Control

He would try and control me, “You knew I would be free then! Why did you make that programme?”

He would try and control me, "You knew I would be free then!
Husband shouting on wife in home

Related reading: Reasons why we return to our abusive partners

2. Isolation

He isolated me: “I do not like her hair colour. She is a freak. You should stay away from her.”

I do not like her hair colour. She is a freak. You should stay away from her.
Women in an abusive relationship

3. Possessiveness

He was possessive: “Too deep-cut. Who are you getting influenced by, honey? You were not like this!”

Too deep-cut. Who are you getting influenced by, honey? You were not like this!
Possessive husband with wife

Related reading: Lessons I learnt from my abusive partner

4. Name-calling

He would call me a bitch, slut, and would then apologise: “I was drunk, darling.”

He would call me a bitch, slut, and would then apologise: "I was drunk, darling."
young man asking apology, pleading for mercy 

Revelation

During a random browse, I saw these signs of abuse and realised I was undergoing it!

I felt hurt, angry, very angry at myself.

Why could I not see it?

Related reading: Why I broke up with my verbally abusive boyfriend

There are these low level forms of abuse. We do not talk about it enough and very slowly they chip away our sense of self.

Do you think you are in an abusive relationship? Check with our counsellor today.

https://www.bonobology.com/how-does-the-abuser-operate-in-an-abusive-relationship/
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