Jealousy in a romantic partnership can kill the romance really fast. Even though people in a relationship find jealousy from their partner quite flattering at first, gradually the cuteness turns into a serious problem. Dealing with a jealous partner is very difficult and frustrating, to put it mildly. However being in relationship with a jealous partner shouldn’t be a definite deal red flag unless your partner turns abusive and tries to control your life.
If you have not given your partner any reason to mistrust you, then this jealousy could be a manifestation of any underlying issue your partner might be dealing with at present. It could be a result of deep seated trust issue, fear of abandonment, or a bitter aftertaste of a bad past breakup. While these issues can seem hard to deal with on the surface, overcoming your partner’s jealousy is actually simple. All you need is undeterred commitment to work through the problem.
1. Don’t distance yourself
Being with a jealous partner can make you crazy and possibly you would want to distance yourself a little from the incessant dependency seeking behaviour. Don’t do that! It will only aggravate the problem. Instead you should try to find out the reason behind his insecurities to address the cat in the question.
2. Talk about their fear and anxiety
If you are really bothered about your partner’s jealousy, ask them to sit down and talk it out. Don’t be afraid to communicate how their action really makes you feel and ask about the jealousy triggers and why they invoke this emotion for your partner. Don’t try to minimize the impact their actions have on you to fix the problem. But also don’t try to humiliate or bully your partner’s fear and anxiety into submission.
3. Don’t get defensive
If your partner accuses you of something, don’t get defensive right away. First take a step back, evaluate the situation and respond appropriately. When you get defensive about your own actions it amplifies your partner’s anxiety too. Instead approach the situation calmly and reassure your partner about your commitment to the relationship.
Related reading: Find out your jealousy quotient!
4. Show support
This is easier said than done. Of course your partner has to fix the jealousy on their own, but from time to time they are going to need your support. You can deal with your partner’s jealousy more easily if you are there when your partner needs you the most. Being available and responsive goes a long way to deal with his insecurities.
5. Create boundaries
Boundaries are not bad for relationships. Knowing what pleases you and what scares you, how you want to be treated in certain situations is a good thing and saves a lot of trouble later. For a healthy relationship openly discuss the emotions important to you and also mention the lines that are not supposed to be crossed over.
6. Make them feel special
Finally the icing! Make your partner feel extra special by showering them with more affection. This will not only reassure them of your affection, but also help calm the mind faster. Their fears might not be rational to you, but showing empathy goes a long way to help a person heal. Try it.
But of course, there is a difference between general jealousy and verbal and physical abuse in a relationship. If your partner’s unhealthy jealousy forces you to cut-off ties with your friends or family members, if they don’t trust you enough to go out on your own with other people, if the relationship is suffocating you then it’s time to seek help or break up the relationship altogether.