We did a lot of wrong things that we shouldn’t have. I’ve even realised that we might have been perfectly in love with each other, but we wouldn’t have survived marriage. His dominant traits would have suffocated me, and I would have shut down. It’s perhaps a blessing that we are now apart.
The mistakes I made
Having lost my partner, I now know of a few things I shouldn’t have done.
Related reading: Communication mistakes couples make
- I’m a woman who likes my peace, and I never get into confrontations. Be it his fault, or mine, I mentally forgave him and left out the heated conversations. I was wrong. I should have fought it out.
- He was a soft-hearted man, and couldn’t take rebuke. But he delivered harsh words well. I let him rebuke me, and in exchange never made a noise. I should have complained.
- Never did I grumble when he couldn’t take time off to talk to me, neither did I nag him. We were in peace, hardly ever fought, and hence I thought we’d make it through.
The lessons we learnt
He lost me because of his arrogance, and because I made him believe that I wasn’t going anywhere. He lost me because of his pride and vanity, and failure to acknowledge me; also because he couldn’t forget the traumatic experiences in his past, and speculated that I’d repeat the same. He kept me at a distance.
Related reading: Lessons I learnt from my abusive partner
We all grow in our relationships. We understand each other’s needs. For me, it was emotional growth, because I learnt that I was capable of loving. For him it was positive too, because he learnt that he was capable of being loved. We now need the opposite experiences to complete our growth.
I need to be loved, and he needs to love.
I hope we both find our completions someday.