Live-in and Open

7 must-know risks involved in a live-in relationship

What are some of the risks involved in getting into a live-in relationship in India, which is increasingly popular nowadays?
shuddh desi romance

Deciding to move in together can be a huge risk

The next step to any relationship is what they call “moving in together”. It is a huge step for partners, since two different worlds are going to collide and get cramped up inside a four-wall enclosure. Sounds intimidating, right? But it isn’t, to be very honest. While we are moving past the “traditional” Indian way of two people staying together, a live-in relationship has its own set of perils in the current Indian society.

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Live-in couples get jeered at and they have a hard time, since they are not “married”, which is apparently the only way for couples to stay together. Apart from heterosexual couples, it largely affects the queer couples as well. The idea of a live-in relationship is yet to be accepted in our regressive nation. One can’t fight against the dated morals but they should be well aware of the risks. There are certain other factors that work in a live-in relationship. This is almost like a beta testing phase for you and your partner to see if things are going to work out.

Trouble finding keys?

Yes, that seems to be a major problem for couples. Finding keys for your apartment while you are running out of time can easily lead to an unwanted fight. So, always have an extra pair of keys. This might seem like a trivial issue, but these small things often build up to something drastic. Live-in relationships take some time to get used to, but in order to settle things, you need to be a bit more self-aware than usual. Who knew keys were so important in a relationship?

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Related reading: We don’t want a marriage or kids. Our live-in relationship works perfectly for us

“You are not doing enough”

In a household there is work which would seem invisible, since someone or the other does it for you. From “watering the plants” to “serving the dinner”, it can be anything. Either of you is likely to be bored of doing these small tasks unless you divide them fairly. Never give one another the chance to say that either of you isn’t doing enough for the other.

It is very hard to find an apartment

Many bachelors face this issue as well, since the landlords/ladies look for married couples. If you’re not married, they will treat you like delinquents. So, finding a friendly or less hostile neighbourhood is very hard to begin with. As for queer couples, they need to find queer friendly places in the cities too. Even if you move in together to a borderline tolerant neighbourhood, chances are that their hostility towards you and your partner will soon start affecting the relationship.

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“So, who’s cooking today?”

That is indeed the question of the century. Cooking is a huge responsibility in any household, and if you either of you is used to getting your food served to you, chances are you will suffer initially. There will be times when either of you will end up being lazy about cooking and will resort to “take-outs”. But that is detrimental to your health.

“Did the condom break?”

Sexual hygiene is something that you and your partner need to maintain. And even if something of this sort happens, don’t freak out. Go through it together and do not hesitate to take medical assistance. It is very important to take professional help in case you are paranoid about your sexual health. But be very supportive of each other.

Related reading: 10 things couples in live-in relationships will relate to

Learning to respect each other’s personal space

Once the initial mushy phase dies, couples start acting out once they realise that they are overstepping each other’s space. But it is very important to have an idea of how personal spaces work. It is not a movie, so set up ground rules. Once you have set up the guidelines, learn to abide by them. If you are the kind of person who has issues with others’ personal spaces, then put yourself in any hypothetical situation where you feel that this particular thing might breach your personal space.

There are compromises to be made

Comprises are to be made, but not to the point where it’s detrimental to your individuality. Be considerate and compassionate in general, but compromise only if you are okay with it. But if you compromise and then seek gratitude, it will mean that your compromise wasn’t selfless at all. Your partner might be grateful, but it is absolutely up to them.

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It is not a contract and neither is it a marriage

Your live-in status is your and your partner’s personal business; let it not affect your relationship in any way.

Does living-in together mean you are ready for marriage?

I was good enough to live with but not to marry for this mama’s boy

What are the advantages of a live-in relationship?

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3 Comments

  1. A piece of advice: Don’t forget that moving in together should act as an enhancement to your relationship rather than being the cause of a stir in it.

  2. Deciding to live together is not a small choice. Because sharing your time together stripped off all the glamours of dating , and happy hanging outs, gives you a choice to see the closer and keener details of the person that you would not have noticed otherwise. You share a life together. And like every big decision it has its own share of risks. And we must be aware of it. Awareness leads to an inner understanding that makes you prepared for such uncalled for situations. And you will be able to find a way out of it. As the article aptly says, there are compromises to be made. Adjustments to be added. That’s how you know whether your life and your energy sync with each other or not.

  3. I actually don’t know whether a live-in relationship can be good or bad for a couple. Whenever I think of it, some of the above-mentioned pointers come to my mind but then there are few positive aspects as well. It actually depends on the nature of the couples.

    It is a very personal and subjective matter which might or might not work for everyone.

    So, think very wisely before getting into a live-in relationship!

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