Deciding to move in together can be a huge risk
The next step to any relationship is what they call “moving in together”. It is a huge step for partners, since two different worlds are going to collide and get cramped up inside a four-wall enclosure. Sounds intimidating, right? But it isn’t, to be very honest. While we are moving past the “traditional” Indian way of two people staying together, a live-in relationship has its own set of perils in the current Indian society.
Live-in couples get jeered at and they have a hard time, since they are not “married”, which is apparently the only way for couples to stay together. Apart from heterosexual couples, it largely affects the queer couples as well. The idea of a live-in relationship is yet to be accepted in our regressive nation. One can’t fight against the dated morals but they should be well aware of the risks. There are certain other factors that work in a live-in relationship. This is almost like a beta testing phase for you and your partner to see if things are going to work out.
Trouble finding keys?
Yes, that seems to be a major problem for couples. Finding keys for your apartment while you are running out of time can easily lead to an unwanted fight. So, always have an extra pair of keys. This might seem like a trivial issue, but these small things often build up to something drastic. Live-in relationships take some time to get used to, but in order to settle things, you need to be a bit more self-aware than usual. Who knew keys were so important in a relationship?
“You are not doing enough”
In a household there is work which would seem invisible, since someone or the other does it for you. From “watering the plants” to “serving the dinner”, it can be anything. Either of you is likely to be bored of doing these small tasks unless you divide them fairly. Never give one another the chance to say that either of you isn’t doing enough for the other.
It is very hard to find an apartment
Many bachelors face this issue as well, since the landlords/ladies look for married couples. If you’re not married, they will treat you like delinquents. So, finding a friendly or less hostile neighbourhood is very hard to begin with. As for queer couples, they need to find queer friendly places in the cities too. Even if you move in together to a borderline tolerant neighbourhood, chances are that their hostility towards you and your partner will soon start affecting the relationship.
“So, who’s cooking today?”
That is indeed the question of the century. Cooking is a huge responsibility in any household, and if you either of you is used to getting your food served to you, chances are you will suffer initially. There will be times when either of you will end up being lazy about cooking and will resort to “take-outs”. But that is detrimental to your health.
“Did the condom break?”
Sexual hygiene is something that you and your partner need to maintain. And even if something of this sort happens, don’t freak out. Go through it together and do not hesitate to take medical assistance. It is very important to take professional help in case you are paranoid about your sexual health. But be very supportive of each other.
Related reading: 10 things couples in live-in relationships will relate to
Learning to respect each other’s personal space
Once the initial mushy phase dies, couples start acting out once they realise that they are overstepping each other’s space. But it is very important to have an idea of how personal spaces work. It is not a movie, so set up ground rules. Once you have set up the guidelines, learn to abide by them. If you are the kind of person who has issues with others’ personal spaces, then put yourself in any hypothetical situation where you feel that this particular thing might breach your personal space.
There are compromises to be made
Comprises are to be made, but not to the point where it’s detrimental to your individuality. Be considerate and compassionate in general, but compromise only if you are okay with it. But if you compromise and then seek gratitude, it will mean that your compromise wasn’t selfless at all. Your partner might be grateful, but it is absolutely up to them.
It is not a contract and neither is it a marriage
Your live-in status is your and your partner’s personal business; let it not affect your relationship in any way.