How will it be when you move to your in-laws’ house?
When a woman gets married and moves to her husband’s household, she does not just leave her home but a major part of her life behind. This is why this change is characterised less by excitement and more by fear, anxiety and trepidation. During such moments, the woman’s mind is running like a racehorse on drugs and wondering several hundred things at once. What if they don’t like me? Will they make me wear a saree all day? Will they let me go to work? Do I have to cook, clean and care for everyone? What if my mother-in-law and sister-in-law treat me like their new maid? And so on and so forth.
After all, TV serials have pretty much cemented the idea that almost all the women who move in with the husband and the in-laws suffer. No exceptions. But is it really the case in reality too? Do all sasumas treat the new bride terribly? Are all in-laws horrible? Well, not really. Not unless you are extremely unfortunate. In reality usually it is not a literal version of hell one usually moves into but the home of the loving person you chose to spend your life with. These same people you are currently petrified of brought your amazing partner up.
These same people you are currently petrified of brought your amazing partner up.
So, they can’t be all bad, right?
Don’t believe me? Well, here are the stories of seven women whose in-laws went out of their way to make them feel at home.
Related reading: My mother-in-law did what even my mother wouldn’t do
1. Divya’s story: SIL shared her T-shirt
“Mine won’t sound very significant or earth-shattering but it meant a lot to me when it happened. I had just married my partner of 5 years and was pretty excited to start our life together. But I was also terrified. See, our families did not know of our torrid love affair till we up and told them we were going to marry each other. Then came the months of hurried preparation for the marriage ceremony. Lots of buying and running around was involved and I did not have much time to consider the little ball of fear at the bottom of my stomach. It was there, though, and it kept me awake at night as I asked myself the same questions. ‘What if they hate me?’ ‘Will they even treat me like family?’ etc.”
“I had nothing to worry about, though. The day I moved into the abode of my in-laws, they made sure not to pressure me into anything. Indeed, my sister-in-law helped me get out of the heavy saree and jewellery and gave me one of her t-shirts to wear. Then we all sat down for dinner and they all went out of their way to get to know me and make me feel comfortable. It was the best feeling ever.”
2. Riddha’s story: Got me the food I love
“I had to move to a different state after my marriage, so I was pretty gutted. So, to cheer me up, everyone planned and took me out to have dinner that served the authentic cuisine from my state. It was no maa ke haath ka khana but it was still very sweet.”
Related reading: 7 things I felt when I met my in-laws for the first time
3. Snigdha’s story: Gave me time to settle in
“They say you don’t marry a person but an entire family. Well, if that’s true then I am glad I married the one I did instead of any others. I had heard from my partner before that his is a pretty cool family but I didn’t know how cool till I moved in and the entire family, everyone except me and my husband, that is, went on a tiny trip somewhere so I could have some time to settle in and start to build a home with my new beau. It was a thing that you don’t think you need till you actually get it. This thoughtful gesture meant that by the time they returned, I knew the house upside down and was all set to impress them with my newfound confidence. It was amazing.”
4. Ruth’s story: Cooked me ma ka daal
“It was a tiny thing but it made me feel so loved that I can’t even begin to describe it. All the wedding pressure and anxiety had made me fall sick soon after I arrived at my in-laws’ house. I couldn’t eat much and felt terrible. So my sasuma called my mother up and found out my favourite food recipes from my mother and cooked them for me. I cried when I tasted the daal that tasted just like my mom makes it.”
Related reading: 6 signs you’ve married a foodie
5. Maria’s story: Gave me space for my things
“They had cleared out an entire cupboard so that I can keep my stuff in it. I hadn’t brought much, so barely needed that much space but that beautiful gesture broke my heart with happiness.”
6. Needhi’s story: Flew my family out
“I had to move from Mumbai to Delhi after my marriage. I hadn’t ever been away from my family for very long and it was starting to get to me. So, they surprised me by flying my parents and sister out to meet me. Just to cheer me up. It was beautiful.”
7. Heena’s story: Gave me wings to fly
“They encouraged me to keep pursuing my career. I had just finished my Masters when I got married and had gotten no time to focus on what I wanted to do next. I though that marriage meant that I had to give up on trying to have a career. But they not only encouraged me to find out what I wanted to do in life but also supported me when I said I might want to move to a different city to do a PhD. I now have a job I love and have a decent career up ahead of me. I cannot thank them enough.”
Movies and TV shows might tell us that going to our in-laws’ place after marriage is just entering into a lifelong battle, but so many stories in real life tell us that is not the case. After all, family is not just measured by blood but also love. And some families have enough love to share.
https://www.bonobology.com/fight-pre-bridal-blues/
https://www.bonobology.com/pros-cons-living-laws/
https://www.bonobology.com/changes-woman-life-marriage/
4 comments
As a young woman undeniably petrified at the very mention of marriage and confronting the “in-laws” , this write up gave me some much needed comfort! It actually reveals a positive and brighter possibility. Marriage is certainly not an easy thing for any woman. So many aspects of her life undergoes significant changes and the in-laws must realise that it’s only when they make an effort to make her feel at home, she would blend in as a part of the family. How lovely it would have been , if all the in-laws could just realise that it is possible to win a daughter in a daughter-in-law when you choose to be her second parents, instead of being her in-laws.. So many unpleasant realities could have been removed from this society then.. Sigh!
This must has made you go aww. Is not it. Showing love and care is not always about big things, it can be just small beautiful things like these. Just one word, WOW. #love
It is so important for mom-in-laws to make their bahoos feel welcome and loved, also vice-versa. I remember when I got married, my mum-in-law used to wake me up in the mornings with bed tea, just like my mom. That one small gesture meant the world to me. It made me feel that I was just like a daughter here too!
Even I staying with my in-laws and I feel blessed! My in-laws are super caring, I never thought life would be so easy after marriage but thanks to my mother-in-law. I don’t have to bother with the kitchen and another household chores much instead she tells me to focus on my work.
Seriously, it’s a bliss to have such a loving and caring family :)