9 not-so-effective love lessons Bollywood films have taught us over the years

Love lessons from Bollywood

Movies are our only source of information on how to romance

Since it is taboo to talk about ways of romancing, lessons on romancing or anything to do with romance with elders in most families in our country, movies become the natural teacher. How reliable movies are as teachers of romancing is of course another issue altogether. Let’s see what gems of wisdom you are getting from this teacher.

How to win your love

  1. The most romantic gesture is of course stalking. Nothing says ‘I adore you’ like shadowing your object of affection constantly. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like sneaking inside your love’s home. Since this is a sure shot way to win over love, students get confused a little when the tactic does not work in movies like Darr.                                                                                                                                                     
  2. When one says ‘no’ there’s definitely a ‘yes’ hiding inside. So you should nag their love till the ‘yes’ comes out.
  3. The boy always instantly falls madly in love when they see any girl eating panipuri on roadside. So to make a boy fall in love with her, a girl must manage to eat panipuri cutely, keeping her mouth shut, not messing her face and avoiding drooling while waiting her turn among the 20 customers simultaneously being served by the panipuriwala.                                                                                           
  4. There is always a best friend whose full time occupation is your love life. They seem to have no life or career of their own.

Related reading: 10 insane relationships questions on Quora that will make you go, “Really?!”

Family and friends

  1. You give a motivational speech and girl’s family melts and does a ‘Jaa Simran’ and the girl becomes yours. The only problem is that every time you gave a speech in your life, motivational or otherwise, you got booed. Also, you have stage fright.                                                                                                              
  2. It is perfectly all right to change your mind about your mate at the last moment just before the wedding or even during the wedding. It totally does not matter if you could have done it before the wedding arrangement. It’s your love life, you could cancel your wedding anytime you want. What if a couple of families and a rejected person are scarred for life by humongous humiliation? Or if hundreds of thousands of rupees are wasted in the wedding arrangement? What if the caterer refuses to refund the advance? Love is above all this mundane regular life stuff!

Related reading: 6 movies from the ‘90s which need to be remade

Where to find your love

  1. A wedding is always the perfect time to meet your future love. So don’t waste your time in helping out. In any wedding your only job is to wear the best outfit and over the top makeup without bothering that you’ll outshine the bride. Your only job in a wedding is to flirt with anyone available.                                                                                                                                                                    
  2. Money and education don’t matter in love. It totally does not matter if after marriage you have to use field as toilet or you have to read out aloud the love letters you write to your education deprived mate.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
  3. It is always fine to rush to the airport, breaking all traffic rules, to tell your love about your feelings. If someone dies because of your rash driving then it would be only for love. And breaking all airport laws running inside is fine. It is not as if airport security is of national importance.                                 

Did these lessons help you in your love life?

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