A novice at sex, how do I know if I am satisfying my girlfriend?

by Dr. Avani Tiwari
A happy couple in bed together


Dear Ma’am,

My girlfriend and I have been friends for three years and started dating a few months back. We both did not have any relationships before this. We got intimate recently and it was the first time for both of us. Being intimate is still a new experience for us. What I wanted to understand from you ma’am is how will I know if I am fully satisfying my girlfriend (as in sexually)? Please guide as I am a novice in this department.

relationship counselling

Avani Tiwari says:

Hi Novice!

The ‘first time’ is a scary nervous experience and that’s okay. Practice [restrict]makes perfect. Read up if you have any queries. Don’t rely on well-meaning, ill-informed friends or Internet porn sites. You’ll only be confused more.

As for how you’ll know if your girl is satisfied… Ask her. Discuss. Use humour, if you’re feeling shy. Use hypothetical scenarios. Once she opens up, she’ll be your best guide. Above all, have fun. There’s no target to achieve or deadline to meet. And use contraception.


consult here native

1 comment

Manjari Thakur
Manjari Thakur June 12, 2018 - 11:36 am

Yes. It is so important to have candid conversation about each others’ sexual needs, and if they are enjoying the process or not. Such discussion not only brings a better awareness of each other’s needs , it also shows that you both validate each other’s role in physical intimacy. And that would surely bring you both closer in a more meaningful way.


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