Living with your parents is a very Indian thing
In Western countries adults who continue to live with their parents are considered utterly unsuccessful in life or called “losers”.
But in India we live with our parents and that is the norm. Girls and boys live with their parents unless they are studying/working in other cities. After marriage, again it is a norm for the married couple to live with the husband’s parents, unless they work in another city.
The wife always has mixed feelings about living with her in-laws. Why only in-laws? Grown up children have rifts with their own parents too, while living under the same roof, every day.
However, the broad idea is, even after modernisation, Indians either live with their parents or feel guilty about not living with their parents.
So it was really strange seeing someone trolling Bollywood actor Abhishek Bachchan for still living with his parents.
If Abhishek can still live with his parents, why not you?
Someone tweeted on 17th April night,
“Don’t feel bad about your life. Just remember @juniorbachchan still lives with his parents. Keep hustling everyone!”
Abhishek never suffers the trolls silently. As we have seen, anyone trolling him or his family always gets a firm response. This time it was no exception. Within an hour, Abhishek replied
“Yes! And it’s the proudest moment for me to be able to be there for them, as they have for me. Try it sometime, you might feel better about yourself.”
For this unfair and absurd trolling and a witty rebuff, Abhishek got support from all walks of life, online and offline. The media rallied behind him.
Among many others, writer Sadhavi Khosla remarked
“Abhishek, you don’t owe any explanation to anyone on why you chose to live with your parents and not separately. To be with one’s parents, to be able to take care of them in their old age is not something which everyone can do. I wish I could be with my parents all the time.”
Since the last few years, Abhishek has unfortunately become a target of trolling more than his fair share, maybe because our society can’t take a secure husband of a successful woman. No one gets that he has been successful off camera with his sports team and managing the family business. Trolls only understand glamour maybe. They may get some further heartburn by knowing very soon Abhishek’s film Manmarziyan, directed by Anurag Kashyap, is going to be released.
He has a smart reply for every troll
Interestingly enough, this was not the first time Abhishek gave a witty reply to a query about living his family. In 2012, Abhishek and wife Aishwarya appeared in Oprah. In the introduction, the voiceover talked about their fame, money, success and wrapped it up saying, “They live with his parents.”
The discussion started with Oprah taking it further. She asked, “So you live with his parents, how does it work for you?”
As a reply Abhishek asked, “You don’t live with your parents, how does that work for you?”
Oprah, of course, immediately got into apologetic mode and went on talking about the place of parents in Western culture. Then the couple talked about the living arrangement and Aishwarya added about her mother-in-law Jaya’s rule of eating at least one meal a day together if all of them are in the city.
The complete interview can be watched here:
It was refreshing to see Aishwarya chip in, because since their wedding the rumour mills have been working overtime about how she does not get along with her mother-in-law. Every week there’s a fresh rumour about Abhishek and Aishwarya moving out of the senior Bachchan’s household. Or some over-analysis of the public appearance of the extended Bachchan family to infer that Aishwarya does not get along with her mother-in-law/sister-in-law.
The truth is that Abhishek invests a lot in real estate, and every time he buys a house or flat, it becomes fodder for rumour mills. It is a fact that a woman sometimes resents living with her in-laws. There are some restrictions and someone else is in control of the home management. However, unless the mother-in-law is the proverbial evil MIL, the DIL’s resentment is only momentary. Generally a DIL welcomes the presence of elders at home. It means fewer responsibilities and safe babysitting.
She lived with her parents before she got married
Aishwarya might have been miffed occasionally, but we don’t know that for sure. What we know is that Aishwarya understands Indian families. Her brother and sister-in-law live with her parents. She herself lived with her parents till her marriage, in spite of being rich and famous.
In the year 2005, on the David Letterman Show, when she was asked about her living with her parents, she had replied, “It’s fine to live with your parents, because it’s also common in India. We don’t have to take appointments from the parents to meet for dinner.”
The video can be seen here:
Abhishek was engaged to Karishma before getting into a relationship with Aishwarya. Rumour has it that the main reason behind the engagement breaking down was that Karishma was not willing to live with her future in-laws.
Whatever the reason for the broken engagement, whatever happens, happens for good. Abhishek and Aishwarya are the “it” couple who share their values and outlook.
Today is the 11th wedding anniversary of Abhishek and Aishwarya. Let’s wish the couple, who have effortlessly combined modern culture with Indian tradition, the very best.