Our counsellor Snigdha Mishra responds on how to get out of a situation like this.
During arguments, her husband gets physically abusive. Yet once his anger is over, he tells her that his rage was her fault. Even when he abuses her, he keeps saying that her suffering is her fault. She has suffered from PTSD due to the situation, yet her husband is not affected and lives without guilt.
Even though they are currently separated, she fears that her life would be destroyed if she files for a divorce. Can counselling help him, she asks?
Snigdha Mishra, Psychotherapist, mental wellness and behaviour trainer, advises her that even though her need for social security from her husband is legitimate, abuse in any form – physical or mental – is a punishable offence. For any kind of therapy to work, her husband should first learn to accept that he has aggression issues and needs help. Only then there is a chance for him to recover. Since counselling is a long process, its success depends on the individual’s sustained effort and persistence.
Divorce is a painful process indeed, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s important to think rationally in a situation like this to give life a second chance.