I’m depressed and unable to move on after my breakup

woman crying and put on hand on head


Dear Ma’am,

I had a breakup recently. I don’t know who to blame for it. In fact, this is my 2nd relationship. I met him at our workplace when I was just out of my previous relationships. We exchanged numbers due to work issues.

Then he started messaging me on WhatsApp. Initially, I tried to maintain distance as I didn’t want another relation yet. Soon we became friends. When he proposed to me, I had to reject him, as I was not ready. And we are from different states and caste is also different. His parents were looking for an alliance. I wanted to stop chatting. But he begged me not to stop.

His engagement got fixed, still, we were talking. By that time, I had feelings for him. He also knew it. He said he loved me. But he can’t do anything.

That’s how my story ended. He got married. I went into depression. I saw a psychiatrist who prescribed medicines to me. I took it for one week. Later stopped as I was feeling uneasy. My parents stood by me through it all. I was afraid to sleep alone also. It has been a month. Still, I’m not able to move on. I have exams coming up. I’m not able to concentrate also as I used to. I feel like I have changed. I have become a new person.

Jaseena Backer says:

Dear young lady,

What happened to you was a rebound.

Rebound: When your first relationship failed, the second one became an anchor for you. Let us look at the man in the second affair. He knew he won’t be serious with you. He got engaged and still continued chatting with you because he had kept his emotional boundaries intact. He was very clear what he wanted and what he could give.

You were in a vulnerable stage of life so you became gullible and fell into your own emotional trap. Mind you, he had nothing emotionally to do with you. He was clear from the beginning that he was having fun with you till he got married. Even after marriage, he will continue playing with other women, but make sure you are not available as his toy.

Make yourself strong:
You now have to make yourself emotionally strong. Learn from the two mistakes you committed. Understand where you went wrong in protecting your emotions and falling prey. It is easy to blame the other person, but you have been vulnerable enough to let the other person play with your emotions. Before you go into any other relationship make sure that you can trust that person enough.

Concentrate on your exams and career: This will make you more stable and mature. Do not rush into another relationship until you feel that you can trust yourself to make a good decision.

Take care,

I came home to find my husband and his lover, locked in an embrace, on my bed

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