Counselling

Am mistreated and unloved by my in laws

Engagement Ceremony

Question: My in laws are very irritating. My mother in law can’t work and I handle the whole house and all household chores by myself, I give my life to this house but still I have to listen to their taunts and criticism daily. They tell me that I am not handling anything properly. They tell me I don’t cook well. I am not allowed to visit my parents but their own daughter comes and stays here for fifteen days every three months. Why are there different rules between us? Then small things like if they know I am taking a nap in the afternoon, they’ll keep talking to me deliberately and not let me sleep.

Whenever and my hubby and I plan to go out they start fighting with us and say why are you going out and what is the need? My whole day is spent in home and kitchen. This is the sum of my life, the only good part is that my husband is very supportive and he always make me laugh. What should I do about my other problems?

Answer:

Hello,

First of all have a calm mind so that you can think straight.

You alone will have to stand up for yourself. This is a very normal situation most women face in Indian joint families.

She kept trying hard to live up to her in-laws expectations, until finally she realised it was better to be herself and make mistakes

You don’t have to listen to what they are saying because confronting them means causing a daily fight. Let them say what they want to and you go about doing things that you want to do. They will say it always. Don’t expect any gratitude or appreciation from them, they won’t and it may not be their way of doing things.

Understand that you don’t need their certification for good cooking and housekeeping. If you want to go to your home you don’t need their permission, your visiting parents. You can go just as their daughter comes home. When you wish to go out with your husband and they fight, just turn a deaf ear and go out. It is your couple time. So stand up strong for yourself. Good luck

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