Single and Dating

Arranged marriages and the interesting men I got to meet

She narrates her experiences navigating the arranged marriage scene in India
Arranged Marriage and Coffee

Being a display item in the Indian Arranged Marriage arena has been an incredibly humbling experience, bordering on disappointment. Getting rejected hurts less with each day. It’s a big league game. Everybody is carrying a checklist; just one strike against and you are out.

I started off with a checklist that read: interesting, intelligent, good looking, and chivalrous; and finally came down to: not a creep, not bossy, and not an idiot.

But nonetheless I had my share of laughs, awe, and bewilderment.

Incident 1

My eyes have a blue tint in the sclera (the white part of the eyeball is bluish because it is thin. Not a good thing).

I was supposed to meet the guy at a local coffee outlet.

Conversation starts:

Guy: Whoa! Are you wearing contact lenses?

Me: What? No. I have eyesight of 20/20. *repenting the statement immediately, as the guy is wearing glasses*

Guy: Oh! Well, they appeared bluish.

Me: That is sclera. Contact lenses are worn on – umm – the iris.

This was followed by an awkward silence with us staring into the void for a good 10 minutes. I was a tad put off by this awkward icebreaker but laughed my heart out after the meeting was over.

Incident 2

We meet at a crepe outlet.

Guy: I guess you’re vegan?

Me: Yes.

Guy goes and fetches something I’ve never eaten before.

Guy (thinking he is pranking me): Oh sorry! I forgot that you are vegan & got chicken crepes.

Me (pointing to red circle on box): Yes, they are chicken crepes.

Guy (flushing): OMG! I’m so sorry, they were supposed to be the mushroom ones.

Me: Yeah! The prank is on you. *hearty laugh*

Incident 3

My batch-mate of 6 years sent me an ‘interest’ on a matrimonial website. When I messaged him on Facebook to confirm, he backed out. He said that his father manages the account and coincidentally stumbled on my profile (among thousands of profiles!).

He messaged me a day after to ask how I felt about him, since his father has anyway sent an interest. I replied, “PLEASE TELL YOUR FATHER, NO!”

He unfriended me in no time. What a chicken!

Incident 4

This has to be the most embarrassing incident ever.

My mother has an extended family. Her cousins are settled across various countries and so, I meet them once every 10 years or so (that too at weddings).

I got an interest on a matrimonial website, the guy was of my age, but the face looked somewhat familiar. His place of origin was the same as my mother’s so I got a bit curious. I tried but couldn’t remember him.

Next day I asked my mother who all are settled in XYZ country. He turned out to be my second cousin! And thanks to Instagram filters I couldn’t identify him even after having seen him in numerous posts on Facebook.

Find out how a couple from Game of Thrones has helped reinstate our faith in arranged marriages.

Incident 5

This incident spammed my email account with hate emails.

This guy sent me an interest on the matrimonial website. He worked at a very renowned firm as an analyst and had a decent profile.

He emailed me his details, and we did a Google Hangout. I found him shallow, sleazy and arrogant on the first chat itself. I didn’t respond to his later pings and declined his interest.

His ego was so badly hurt that he emailed me super long hate emails, quoting my superiority complex; that I’m a serial flirt, I waste men’s time, blah blah. I read two of them. Not only were they profane and demeaning, they kept on coming.

I had to create a filter to delete his emails. I have a linked mail account which I seldom check. Last time I checked he sent me 13 hate emails and in only a week since I declined his interest!

Incident 6

The guy was soft spoken, good looking and we clicked on so many levels. Good so far. We chatted a few times and upgraded (?) to Facebook.

But, lo and behold, the guy had been grief-stricken for four long years after being dumped by his girlfriend. His Facebook timeline was filled with shayari of judaai.

I asked him about wanting an arranged marriage, when he wasn’t yet over grieving, and he said that he was just being honest (yes, crying like a kitten on social media might be legitimate, but faking interest in somebody doesn’t show honesty).

I had to decline the interest.

I love Facebook now.

Incident 7

Conversation on BBM

Guy: Do you want boyfriend-material or husband-material?

Me *texts a smiley and laughs intestines out*

Guy: ?

Me: Durable material, like concrete or steel

Guy *texts me a weepy and probably is annoyed at the ridicule*

Incident 8

Probably every girl/guy is working at a based top MNC. I am not. I’m still not entirely sure of my chosen career path and still struggling with it a bit.

Me: So where do you work?

Guy: It’s a US based top MNC in Bangalore.

Me: Okay.

Guy: We have a broad clientele. We manage portfolios of ABC, XYZ companies. We conduct research, financial risk management …. *a big paragraph on WhatsApp*

Me *amazed at the guy’s talent at tapping on a glass screen*: Wow! That’s huge.

Guy: But I hate it.

Me: Oh! So where do you work, exactly? *expecting the name of employer*

Guy: It’s a US-based top MNC in Bangalore.

Me: *facepalm*

I’m now very happily married to an amazing person who I fell in love with 🙂 Screw arranged marriage.

Published in Single and Dating

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