As a couple we seldom reach orgasm simultaneously

happy couple in bedroom


Dear Sir,

I am 33 and my wife is 29. We have been married for five years and we get on very well sexually. The one difficulty that we do have is that we seldom experience simultaneous orgasms. What can we do to fix this?

Aman Bhonsle says:

I advise you to stop seeking this simultaneity.

Simultaneous orgasms are rare.

Simultaneous orgasms are neither frequent for younger couples nor for couples who have known each other for longer. If it happens, enjoy it! If it doesn’t, that does not make you or your partner inadequate or deficient in any way.

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It’s not practically possible to expect simultaneous orgasms during every intercourse. This is true even for sexually active partners with several years of sexual experience with each other.

Do not worry about this.

The more you think and worry about it the less you are likely to get it. Fretting over it is likely to steal away from the pleasure of sex – all for the want or obsession with orgasming at the same time as your partner.

Intimacy, sensitivity, communication, mutual bodily respect and warmth matter in sensual relationships and synchronicity of climax is very much a myth popularised by the depiction of sex in pop culture and pornography.

Enjoy the good sexual connection you say you have already!

Good luck!


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