Bachke rehna re Baba! How to tell your male BFF that he’s dating a mean girl

Stotropama Mukherjee

Watch out for the mean girl

Try telling a guy that his girlfriend is not good and he will start thinking that you have feelings for him. They are tuned that way; they feel that they are such a catch, especially the ones who have already blown a maiden over. Unless of course, you have already established that you are only into girls. Then the equation changes and the guy teases you for falling for his girl; teases you, doesn’t take it seriously.

It is better to be friends with gay guys if you want to avoid so much drama. I don’t want to be sexist, but gay guys are the best ever friends a girl can ask for: you have common interests and generally no clash. I mean, what can be worse than a cisgender straight man in this age and time?

But if you are straight and your best friend, who is a man, is also straight and you believe that his girlfriend is bad news, then you are in a world of trouble, girl. You can never tell him this directly. You can only show him. Here’s what you can do.

Related reading: 10 thoughts you will have when your bestie finds herself a boyfriend

Stop and think

Are you really sure? Or is it your personal emotions and jealousy coming into play? I’m not saying that you have a crush on your best friend or that you want him all to yourself; I’m just saying it might be the case that you are missing him. Now that he has a girlfriend, he doesn’t spend that much time with you any more and you are blaming his girlfriend for it. Maybe you just need to step back and give the new couple a bit more space. Maybe you are the mean girl in their story. Just think before you go ahead and destroy the happiness of your own best friend forever.

Try being nice

Really, try it. Not just plain everyday nice that you are to your cab driver or barista, but a little extra for your BFF’s girlfriend. If she’s all right and if you haven’t damaged the relationship already, then she will be responsive too. But if she doesn’t, you will know for sure that she’s not that good. Tell your BFF not to judge his girl on the basis of how she behaves with him but rather by how she behaves with his friends.

Tell your BFF not to judge his girl on the basis of how she behaves with him but rather by how she behaves with his friends.

Your BFF will soon understand the difference.

Talk to her alone

Your BFF’s girlfriend may be suffering from insecurity herself. Talk to her alone and you may realise that yourself. Meet her alone, try to find common ground and build a friendship: if she’s the love of your best friend then she deserves a little love and respect from you, too. All your efforts will fall flat if she considers you a threat to her relationship. Have you ever shown any sign of it being true? Has he?

Show him what she really is

Actions speak louder than words. Show your BFF what a biatch his girlfriend can be in certain matters. Create the situations that you know she would react badly to and wait for it. Maybe your BFF will see her for who she really is or blame you for making her life harder. But it’s a risk you have to take: for better or for worse. You have some responsibility towards your BFF and you are just acting in his best interest. Isn’t it so?

Related reading: Things you will relate to if your bestie is in a relationship

Stage an intervention

If you think that the things are getting out of hand and you can’t handle it anymore, bring in reinforcements. Get other friends involved; ask them if they feel the same way. If yes, then tell them to join the mission. Better still, get the parents involved. You must already be familiar with your BFF’s parents and family: just leak it to them that your BFF is dating someone. They will then take over. They will want to meet the girl and if she’s the wrong one, they will outright tell your BFF that. After all, Mom knows the best.

Hope for the best

If nothing works and if everything you do backfires, then all you can do is hope. When a person is blindly in love, they can’t listen to reason. They cannot see the faults in their partner and get angry with whoever points them out to them. After all, you don’t fall in love with a person for all the good qualities they have, but in spite of all the bad qualities. So, maybe the things you find irritating in her, your BFF actually finds those cute.

But if things really don’t work out between your BFF and his girlfriend, you can always lend your shoulder for him to cry on.

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1 comment

Aksa Sania
Aksa Sania July 27, 2018 - 9:12 pm

I do remember telling my bestie who happens to be a guy to just end the relation. I told him this however, after taking a lot of time. Once the rough patch got intensified between them, I did tell him, and without taking it in any other sense, he understood my concern and soon enough, he was out of the unhappy relationship.

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