What are your reasons to have kids? Someone asked me. I was a 35-year-old career woman then, heavily pregnant with my first born. “I am dying to have one,” was my honest answer.
I always thought my career was my priority and then my travels but as the biological clock kept ticking, one fine day I found myself wanting a baby like crazy. I had every logical reason to have a baby then. I had financial stability, a big house, a good job and a caring husband.
So deciding to have a baby was easy. But to tell you the truth I didn’t really think of so many factors and look into the logical reasons to have a baby. I just wanted to add to all the conversations that my colleagues had about their kids. I wanted to have one of my own and add to the conversations and say, “Oh! Yes, they can be so much like this.”
When I had my baby I realised whoever said, “When you have a baby it’s like seeing your heart throbbing outside your body,” – was so right.
You don’t really need to have reasons to have kids but those who are still deciding to have a baby and thinking if there’s a right time to have kids this article is for them.
12 Beautiful Reasons To Have Kids
Apart from the need to shower their love on their offspring people have extremely logical reasons to have children. But the reasons to have kids are logical, sensible and beautiful as well. We jot down 12 reasons here.
1. Holding a baby is the happiest thing
Those who have held a baby for the first time in their arms will vouch for this reason. There comes a time in a couple’s life that they want to hold a baby made from their own flesh and blood and love it with all their heart. And they end up enjoying the poop conversations more than anything else.
Claire Brown, a computer professional, had a baby after 10 years of marriage. She decided to delay having a baby because she wanted to concentrate on her career first. “But when my son was placed on my chest after he was born and then they handed him over to me for breastfeeding it’s very hard to explain the gush of emotions I felt in my heart. Feeling that was one of the best reasons have kids,” she said.
2. You pass on your genes
Roy Whatson, a journalist, was 45 and happily single when he suddenly felt that his family genes would die with him. “It’s a feeling that makes you very emotional and I felt directionless. That’s when I got married,” he said.
Roy is not the only one who feels this way. There are plenty of people who want to pass on the genes to the next generation and there is satisfaction in that. This is one of the most less discussed but real reasons to have kids.
It’s a hard-to-describe feeling but it visits many like an epiphany when they suddenly feel disturbed with the thought that their family name would end with them. Add to that an indescribable need to have a bay who would have your mop of curly hair, inherit your grandmom’s dimple or your dad’s brains in chess.
It’s a myth a child saves a dying marriage but it is also true a child brings out the best in a couple. To take your relationship many steps forward is a good enough reason to have a child. It’s a logical reason too to have an addition in the family to feel whole and fulfilled.
A couple discovers anew their own relationship after a baby is born and the child pushes them to become better working as a team. The way a couple handles a new baby dividing sleep and waking hours and food and poop times, says a lot about how they function together. They discover their own capabilities with the arrival of a new baby.
As the days go by and the baby starts growing up it’s a constant learning process when couples have to re-align their work timings, their thought processes, their parenting techniques and you grow as parents.
Related Reading: 7 Ways to Get the Romance Back After Having a Baby
4. Reason to have a kid is to look forward to the future
Deciding to have a baby has a lot to do with how you look at your future. The whole process of a baby growing up into a toddler and then a teenager and then going off to college makes you look forward to the future. This is one of the reasons to have kids.
The child growing up in your arms stepping into the world one day, all on his own armed with the knowledge and training given by you, is a heady feeling.
A child is indeed a reason to look forward to the future. In fact, with a child around every single day is a new day to look forward to. From the first steps to the first stint in the kitchen, it’s all very exciting.
5. A reason to have sex
You have tried all the positions, gone through a lot of porn, had all the best sexcations, have tried it outdoor and tapped every inch of the house for some exciting spots, now what? Having a baby is great reason to have sex. You have a purpose apart from the orgasm to have sex and trust us that purpose is exhilarating.
When those two blue lines show at the end of a month on the preg kit that sense of purpose becomes more fulfilling, more reinforced. The reason to have a child is connected to a reason to have more sex.
And after the child is born when you resume your intimacy it’s a great feeling to know that what came from your intimacy is fast asleep next to you.
6. Finding a new life
If you are bored of your present life – the same group of friends, same parties and same gossip and political debates – trust us your baby will give you a new life and new friends too. Vionna Robinson, a school teacher, who left her job after having a baby found a whole new world bonding with new moms like her, at her day care, play school and with the moms in her building, sharing tips and tricks on parenting.
“It was a whole new phase in my life as I created new friendships. They really understood me because we had common problems and were dealing with challenges of parenting. My kid has grown up but we are still great friends. I found a whole new social circle through my daughter,” said Vionna.
7. A reason for a conversation
After a few years of marriage when you have debated enough about politics and philosophy, binge watched Netflix and had devoured bottles of wine still then the conversation refuses to flow after a point of time.
After a baby the conversation is kickstarted again although it revolves around nappies and formula but it’s a whole new conversation that progresses as the baby grows and the conversation becomes extremely enjoyable with every first thing achieved by the baby. This is one of the best reasons to have a child actually.
8. You embark on a journey of self rediscovery
A philosopher once said motherhood changes you completely forever. You cannot look at another child again without a smile on your face. Most mothers would say this has happened to them. Truly!
When you become a parent you would get to look at yourself in a new light. You would know the endless love your heart could fit in, to what extent you can go to make the sacrifices and how all the things, that were so important to you even yesterday becomes unimportant overnight.
Deciding to have a baby is one thing but once it’s arrived the child becomes a reason to be a better person. A child teaches you to be more kind, accommodative and resilient. This is one of the best reasons to have kids actually.
9. You want to experience unconditional love
Unconditional love is the most beautiful thing in the world and it can be shard only with a child. The child does not love with a motive or agenda, the love comes naturally. The same happens for you.
Your love for your child is not what you feel towards anyone else. Experiencing this love is reason enough to have a child of your own.
One of the good reasons to have a baby is to feel this love that you are capable of. You realise how you are willing to move mountains to make their life better and happier. A child can transform you.
You could love board meetings and career jumps but when you have a child you could just play around with the crayons for hours and enjoy it as much. Actually you end up reliving your childhood through your kid.
10. To fix past mistakes
You could have grown up in an abusive home or have had toxic parents. You want to right that wrong and you want to have a child and give them a far better life. Correct the wrong of your parents and get your closure. Not the most logical reason but a reason enough to have kids.
When you have your own kids you want to give them the love and protection that you could have missed as a child. Loreen Sparkz, a full-time mom to five kids says, “My parents were extremely strict and I ran away from home at the age of 16 because I hated their control. But when I look at my own children I feel I have given them a free environment to grow up in. They are home schooled, I am not that strict about sleep times, eating habits or play time. They are growing up a happy bunch.”
Related Reading: 8 Relationship Problems You Can Face If You Had Toxic Parents
11. You want to know what parenting really is
You are always reading about parenting in magazines, websites and blogs and now you have come to a phase in your life when you want to know what parenting really means. You want to know what this talk is all about. Perfect logic to have a baby.
Everything comes as a natural progression in life. You want to experience it all step-by-step. There is no denying the fact that there are couples who want to stay childfree and look at parenting as a burden but there are more couples who want to take up the journey happily. There are some bends and bumps in the parenting road but the overall journey is extremely fulfilling.
12. You don’t want to die alone
This might sound a bit selfish but the thought that there would be someone made from your blood and bones shedding tears and holding your hand when you are preparing for your last journey is rather reassuring.
You know in your old age, even if you opt to stay in a retirement home, there will be someone to look after you or visit you often. In case of illness they would be there to cheer you up. You can look forward to having grand kids who would be there in your old age. This is one of the main reasons to have kids for many people and a reason that you are socialised into for generations.
What are the wrong reasons to have a baby?
Yes it’s true people often have a baby for all the wrong reasons and end up being extremely unhappy about it. You should never have a baby if you are not ready for it no matter how much you are pushed into a situation.
Here are 5 wrong reasons for having a baby.
1. It would salvage your relationship
No it never does. A dead relationship is dead anyway. Bringing a child to the middle of that is a cardinal mistake. Nothing will change after that. Things could go worse actually.
2. It was an accident
If it was and if you are mentally and financially prepared to keep the baby then you must by all means. But if you are in no position to give the baby a good life or aren’t up to it mentally then you should think about it.
3. The child will be a support in your old age
No please. Don’t finish off their life with this expectation even before it starts. If you love your child you would want them to fly and if they love you they would come back to support you. But don’t let this expectation be the single most important reason to have a child.
4. To fulfill social expectation
That can’t be reason enough to have a baby. Those who are expecting you to have a baby won’t stay up at night looking after it or send it to college. It’s your decision so be aware if you really want it.
5. A child is inevitable after a marriage
Not necessarily. There are plenty of people choosing to be childfree. Having a baby without a thought is unacceptable. Couples should discuss their prep level before they decide to have a baby.
As written in this article earlier there are plenty of good reasons to have a child. Let your reason to have a child be a beautiful one and not a wrong one.