Becoming a sexting pro! Follow these 10 tips

Team Bonobology

Sexting is digital foreplay done right. It is the digital sex dungeon that limits nothing. Everything kinky that you have been imagining can be incorporated between you and your consenting partner while sexting. A great tool to initiate foreplay even when you are miles apart. Here are some useful tips for the sexting to begin *wink wink*

1. Set the scene right

Sexting is one of the most passionate over-the-text conversations you can have with your significant other and the mood to sext makes a crucial element. Make sure consent is given from either side and a sensual ambience is built up before you jump into the well.

2. Slow and steady wins the race

The most sensuous way to get someone involved in the whole ambience of it is to start slow but not till the point of drowsiness. Talk about the type of lights or the scent of the candles. Lead your adventures on one step at a time. Don’t give away too much to take the essence out of it, don’t hold in too much to turn it into a weird interrogation. Drop hints and motives, but remember, this moment is yours and there is no need to rush it.

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3. Teasers before the main broadcast

Small audio or visual perks always go a long way. Teasers can include a non-identifiable picture of you biting your lips, the favourite lingerie you put on or just that sneak peek into the erogenous areas. This not only pumps up the nuance of the act but also keeps your partner’s interests piqued. It leaves them wanting more of what is to come, without making it too intimidating.

4. Explore fantasy options

One of the basic elements to successful sexting is to traverse each other’s minds in the rawest way possible. Pick out the specific thoughts and objects and actions that feed their sexual appetite. Make sure you use the knowledge to the best capability. Create scenarios and play out characters. Start filling in blanks of conscious cravings or go that extra mile to put up a safe voyeuristic show.

Related reading: Why spice is nice in the bedroom too

5. The memory drills

One of the best ways to spice things up is to recollect past instances or activities that fanned that fire to extremes. That time when you roughed it up a bit or the time when you secretly pleased one another in public or how much you like the roughness of their tongue on certain parts of your skin. Memory hints not only heat the present mood but also pass subtle indications to what type of conversational pointers you want.

6. Drop the balls slowly (pun may or may not be intended)

This is one of the main points to keep in mind. Do not vocalise intimate scenes directly and curtly. Play around with words and images. Ask them what they want from you, what they want you to do to them. Leave them hanging for a while till you can feel the pressure of libido building up and they are on the verge of begging for it. Powerplay is a magic ingredient but not necessarily limited to the same person repeatedly.

7. Compliments go a long way

No, this does not involve patting heads and shoulders, but verbal motivations like “Oh yes, just like that” or “That makes me drip” can spice up your sexting game to unimaginable heights. This will not only set a positive vibe to your venture but will also open up room for constructive improvements. Because you are not physically with your partner, this forms a basis of mutual trust and expression which is a key element to keep the juices flowing (Again, may or may not).

8. Pictorial motivations

Some may be into the act of visual motivation as things proceed verbally. But this comes with certain safety rules: never show your face or make your location known, keep a correct posture and stick to the moment. Shots can also be used as incentives through the busy work hours of the day to drive the ambience when you finally take the plunge. A striped piece of clothing or a faded-out skin show can do wonders to fire up creative prowess.

9. The world of kink

Most people may grow out of the habit of vanilla sex or even sexting after a few encounters. That is exactly when it becomes of utmost importance to explore your inherent kinky side. Never be ashamed or inhibitory about those out of the box desires that gnaw under your skin. Be very vocal about your fetishes and how you would like to fulfil them. Ask your partner well beforehand if they consent to your taste. Sexting can become an empowering act if certain sex ideas and clichés can be played out.

Related reading: BDSM 101: Importance of Start, Stop and Wait codes in BDSM

10. The right words, at the right time

The act of sexting is all about efficient wordplay. It is a form of art everybody wants to try but only a few can get a pro grip on. When everything else fails, words remain. Using the right tone of words at the right step along the way is an indispensable requirement. Do not just throw words at your partner, meticulously plan them and frame them to bring out the feel of what you want to do or convey. Some may find it pleasurable to come up with your dictionary, giving it a more piquant flavour. Stick to easy words that get the message through without being a mental burden and do not shy away from those amorous terms that you will help fuel the experience.

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