Sexting is digital foreplay done right. It is the digital sex dungeon that limits nothing. Everything kinky that you have been imagining can be incorporated between you and your consenting partner while sexting. It is indeed a great tool to initiate foreplay even when you are miles apart.
But you should get acquainted with the basic rules of sexting to make sure your skills get your partner’s toes to curl. By sexting effectively, you can really gift them a spell of steamy hot love they will never forget. And to think that it is happening through the screen! If you are living in two different cities for some reason, sexting is your best shot to keep the passion burning.
While it’s easier to initiate sexting with your romantic partner, you may wonder what are the protocols for sexting someone you never met. You may want to have a little fun with your Tinder date but are not sure how to approach them. Most importantly how to sext safely without putting your social reputation and mental health at stake? As long as you are here, reading on till the end, we have got you covered.
Become A pro at sexting with these 10 tips
There are three very crucial things you should remember about the rules of sexting – consent, consent and consent! Look for sext messages for your crush all you want but until you reach that stage in your relationship where both the partners are equally comfortable with the idea, sexting is a big no-no. You can’t ignore the role of consent even if you have been in a partnership with this person for a long time.
If you have never tried sexting before or have been talk-blocked by your partner, you must have some doubts regarding how to initiate sexting, how to set the mood right, and of course, how to play it safe. For your personal benefit, we have compiled this guide to the dos and don’ts of sexting. These useful tips for sexting will definitely help you reach the happy ending you’ve been pining for (*wink wink*).
1. Set the scene right
Sexting is one of the most passionate over-the-text conversations you can have with your significant other or a romantic interest. However, the right mood is a crucial element in making the experience enjoyable for everyone involved so make sure you nail it. Make sure there is explicit consent from both parties and a sensual vibe is built up before you jump in with both feet. For sexting effectively, you should wait for the moment when you both are in a relaxed ambience where you can get comfortable and uninhibited.
If you strongly feel that your partner is ready to take the leap but may need a little nudge to get over their inhibitions, you could pave the way for sexting by dropping hints throughout the day. Teasing them a little or paying seductive compliments like telling them that watching them play with their hair turns you on builds the premise for your act.
2. Slow and steady wins the race
The most sensuous way to draw your partner into the sexting game is to start slow but drag it out to a point of boredom. This is especially important if you are sexting someone you never met. Give them time to get accustomed to your pace and rhythm. I mean think about it, if it was happening in real, won’t you take your sweet time exploring every inch of your partner’s body and keep the foreplay on until they can’t resist you anymore, right?
It’s the same with sexting, move slow. Take things forward one step at a time. Don’t give away too much or the whole buildup will lose its essence. At the same time, don’t be too vague about your intentions or the other person may lose interest. Drop hints and make your motive clear, but remember, this moment is yours and there is no need to rush it.
Related Reading: What is Double Texting And What Are Its Pros And Cons?
3. Teasers before the main broadcast
Small audio or visual perks always go a long way. Teasers can include a non-identifiable picture of you biting your lips, the favourite lingerie you put on or just that sneak peek into an erogenous zone. This not only pumps up the nuance of the act but also keeps your partner’s interests piqued. A small audio clip of you breathing heavily while pleasing yourself can work like a charm to make your partner go crazy for you. It leaves them wanting more of what is to come, without making it too intimidating.
4. Explore fantasy options
One of the basic elements of successful sexting is to traverse each other’s minds in the rawest way possible. Pick out the specific thoughts and objects and actions that feed their sexual appetite. Make sure you use the knowledge to the best capability. Create scenarios and play out characters.
Start filling in blanks of conscious cravings or go that extra mile to put up a safe voyeuristic show. If you are composing sext messages for your crush in your head, maybe you should consider playing with their imagination for a while before getting into the real act.
5. The memory drills
One of the best ways to spice things up is to recollect past instances or activities that fanned that fire to extremes. Just remind them of that one time when you roughed it up a bit or the time when you secretly pleased one another in public or how much you like the softness of their tongue on certain parts of your skin.
It will turn the heat up instantly, leaving you invigorated with burning passion and zeal to touch and ravish each other at that very moment. Evoking memories not only heats up the mood but also indicates exactly which moves will get your loins burning.
Related Reading: 35 Cute Questions To Ask Your Crush While Texting
6. Drop the balls slowly (pun may or may not be intended)
This is one of the main points to keep in mind. Do not vocalize intimate scenes directly and curtly. Play around with words and images. Ask them what they want from you, what they want you to do to them. Leave them hanging for a while till you can feel the pressure of libido building up and they are on the verge of begging for it. Power-play can be a magic ingredient in the sexting game as long as it’s not done with the intent to manipulate.
7. Compliments go a long way
No, this does not involve complimenting your partner about their looks or how great you think they are. We’re talking about verbal motivations like “Oh yes, just like that” or “That makes me drip” which can spice up your sexting game to unimaginable heights. For sexting effectively, you better be more elaborate about your pleasure points and encourage your partner to keep going when they hit the right chord. Because you are not physically with your partner, this forms a basis of mutual trust and expression which is a key element to keep the juices flowing (Again, may or may not).
8. Pictorial motivations
When you’re in the thick of the moment, vocalizing your desires can only get you so far. As the heat is turned on, you may need to throw some visual elements into the mix. These snapshots can also be used as incentives through the busy work hours of the day to build up to the moment when you finally take the plunge. A striped piece of clothing or a faded-out skin show can do wonders to fire up creative prowess.
This comes with certain safety rules – never show your face or make your location known, keep a correct posture and stick to the moment. Most certainly, you are not unaware of the threatening effects of a case of cyberbullying or revenge porn. I am sure you trust your partner and that’s important too for engaging in sexting, but you can’t rule out the possibilities of their device or virtual accounts getting tampered with by a third party. Sext safely like a responsible adult and don’t do anything in the heat of the moment that you may have to regret later.
Related Reading: Pros And Cons Of Sexting
9. The world of kink
Vanilla sex or even bland sexting can get boring after a few encounters. That is exactly when exploring your inherent kinky side is of utmost importance. Never be ashamed or inhibited about those out of the box desires that gnaw under your skin. Be very vocal about your fetishes and how you would like to fulfil them. Ask your partner beforehand if they consent to your taste. Sexting can become an empowering act when certain sex ideas and fantasies are played out.
10. The right words, at the right time
The act of sexting is all about efficient wordplay. It is an art everybody wants to master but only a few can get a pro grip on. When everything else fails, words remain. Using the right tone of words at the right time is indispensable. A little bit of flirty texting in the middle of all the kink and pleasure words might make it even more fun of an experience.
Do not just throw words at your partner, meticulously plan them and frame them to bring out the feel of what you want to do or convey. Some may find it pleasurable to come up with a set of sexting vocabulary, giving it a more piquant flavor. Stick to easy words that get the message through and do not shy away from those amorous terms that will help fuel the experience.
Now that you have this wholesome guide to the dos and don’ts of sexting at your disposal, hopefully, you will kill it this time. Implement our suggestions but at the same time, follow the lead of your partner and simply go with the flow. Don’t overthink it much, you have got this!