As appalling as it may be, your partner finishing the season finale of Nine Perfect Strangers while you were still stuck at work does not count as being sneaky in a relationship. You may be so enraged that you wish to throw the remote at them, but hold it, because they technically did no wrong. This is assuming they didn’t give you a spoiler. If they did, then by all means go to town, and throw anything you can get your hands on.
But if you do have a hunch that something else, something far eerier is going on in your relationship, it might be time to take a closer look at what is making you feel this way. Maybe you’ve picked up on their new habits and behaviors that are telling you that things are just not the same.
These could be anything from giving you a cold hug when they get back home from work, to being extra protective of their phone, or just getting distracted whenever you’re trying to eat a meal together—are you seeing these signs of a sneaky partner? Let’s talk about what being sneaky in a relationship means and the signs of it.
What Does Being Sneaky In A Relationship Mean?
Ricky had been living with his partner, Angela. Having gone out for four years, he was well accustomed to her body language signs and cues. He knew her enough to know that she would instinctively bite her bottom lip every time she told a lie. When she did it around other people, Ricky thought it was cute and never found a reason to bring it up.
But then came a day when he noticed that she had been biting her lip whenever he asked her a question about where she had been. That’s when it stopped being cute, and Ricky got worried that something much more serious was going on.
Ricky was experiencing first-hand what being sneaky in a relationship means – that one person is not being entirely honest or upfront with the other. Either, they clearly have something big to hide or they are protecting you from some kind of truth that will baffle you. Whatever it may be, sneaky behavior in relationships can make both partners feel extremely uncomfortable and anxious.
On one hand, one partner is using all their time and energy feeling nervous about hiding a secret. On the other hand, the other partner can tell something is off, and is disturbed by it but doesn’t exactly know how to deal with it.
Examples of being sneaky in a relationship include situations like when your partner freaks out when you grab their phone, or when they go out of the room to pick up a call. It’s when you don’t know who your partner spends all their time with, or when they don’t tell you much about where they’re going. It’s when you can just feel like they’re hiding something, and they’re more secretive about their life than ever before.
Whatever it may be in your case, one thing’s for sure: Signs of dishonesty in a relationship are bound to make anyone worried about their relationship. To make sure that what you’re experiencing are definitely the signs of a sly person and not just you overthinking things, let’s take a look at all the indications you need to know about.
Related Reading: What Does It Mean When Someone Ignores You?
7 Signs Your Partner Is Sneaky
If there’s an immediate and obvious shift in your partner’s behaviors or mood, you have reason to read the below list that will tell you more about sneaky behavior in relationships. Even if it’s as little as them not sending you the same emojis as they used to pepper in their flirty texts or if there’s an inkling bothering you, it doesn’t hurt to double-check.
After all, if you don’t address what’s going on, you’re only going to let the relationship anxiety get the better of you. Every time your partner goes out, their secretive nature will make you doubt everything they say, which will eventually lead to trust issues.
Moreover, when you know what the signs of being sneaky in a relationship are, you might just realize that you actually have nothing to worry about and there’s nothing fishy going on. However, to be able to reach that stage, you need to know exactly what to look out for.
And that’s where we come in. We can’t put all your worries aside but we can tell you if there’s something you should be bothered by or not. So if you’re wondering what makes someone sneaky, you’ve come to the right place. Read on to find out.
1. Being ignorant is one of the traits of a sly person
“I don’t remember you telling me about that”, “Aren’t you making a big deal out of this?” or “I didn’t know that would affect you so much”. These are commonly heard gaslighting phrases in a relationship. If you resonate with these statements, and are worried, then you need the low-down on how to deal with a sneaky person because you definitely have one on your hands.
If they act clueless, they know they can get away with it because you’ll probably brush it off and move on. When Amanda pulled Connor into a room at a party to ask him what he was talking about when he was chatting up another girl in the kitchen, Connor plainly said, “Huh, I don’t even remember.”
It’s an attempt to try and get away scot-free, despite knowing that something they did might irk you. They’ll downplay the importance of the situation and ask you to reconsider your reaction. This behavior is classic among the traits of a sly person, do not take this one lightly.
Related Reading: When A Woman Feels Neglected In A Relationship | What To Do
2. Being overprotective of devices equals being sneaky in a relationship
Maybe you texted your partner while they’re away, saying, “Hey! My laptop just died and I cannot find my charger. I need to send a quick email so can I hop onto your computer?” Now if they are showing traits of a sly person, their immediate response will be “Hey, sorry but you’ll have to wait. I’ll help you out once I’m home.”
And that’s where your unending spiral of “what is my partner hiding on the computer from me” starts. You’re probably already worried that they’re cheating online. If this isn’t a big enough tell for you, we don’t know what will be. Sneaking out of the bedroom to take calls late at night, never letting you touch their phone, etc. are all signs you should be wary of.
Such sneaky phone behavior will be especially noticeable if they couldn’t care less about their phone before. Earlier, you could use your partner’s phone to pull up the navigation, but now, they always claim they’re out of battery. The devices that never used to be locked before now need the strongest passwords to open them.
When your boyfriend is secretive, the first change you’re going to notice is how dearly he now keeps his phone with him. He’s not going to let you make any calls with his phone, and using his phone to take a quick picture might leave him sweating. So if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I feel like my boyfriend is being sneaky?” and if his phone is now off-limits to you, you definitely have something to worry about.
3. Pay attention to body language to understand what makes someone sneaky
If you’re wondering what makes someone sneaky, then pay close attention to their body language cues to understand what’s going on with them. Excessive fidgeting? Tics? Stammering when they talk or bouncing their legs too much under the dinner table? These are signs of anxiety as well. But if this person only displays these symptoms around you, while you’re clueless about what’s going on, it could be a sign they are hiding something.
And within those cues, pay even closer attention to their face. Immediately cutting eye contact, smiling nervously, having a blank dumbfounded expression every time you ask them a question – are they doing these things more and more around you? Because if the answer is yes, then these are traits of a sly person and perhaps the signs your spouse is lying to you.
If you’re wondering how you can incite such reactions, you need to address the elephant in the room. If they’re too protective about their phone, simply ask them, “Why won’t you let me even touch your phone nowadays? Are you hiding something?” If you see them immediately start to stammer and mumble their way out of this, it could be one of the signs of dishonesty in a relationship.
“Who do you hang out with all the time nowadays, why won’t you tell me about them?” or “What do you and that person talk about all the time? You’ve never told me much about your dynamic with them” will get the job done as well. If your partner gets nervous while talking about a particular topic, make sure you notice their body language.
4. They seem to keep canceling on you
Stood up by your partner on a double date you had planned? Or is your girlfriend constantly using “girls’ night out” as an excuse to get out of hanging out with you? Is your partner always neck-deep in work whenever you hit them up with plans to hang out? Do things always come up at the last minute and then they have to cancel? If two weeks ago they could not get enough of you, but this week they can barely make the time to text you back, then something is amiss in your relationship.
It’s one of the classic sneaky girlfriend signs if she’s always trying to find her way out of meeting you, by telling you she’s out with her female friends. Similarly, when your boyfriend is secretive, the “bros’ night out” starts happening a lot more than they ever did, and you’re never told what exactly he’s up to and where he’s going.
They’re either being sneaky in a relationship because they’re cheating on you or perhaps avoiding you because they’re scared of confronting you about something. It could even mean that they’re dealing with something personal and don’t know how to share it with you. But if you are sure that they are avoiding you completely, then that’s something you need to discuss with them ASAP.
5. A more defensive tone points to being sneaky in a relationship
Most of the times, when one opts for a defensive tone in arguments, it’s because they have something to hide. Maybe they normally placate arguments by saying, “Honey, please stop thinking that. I would never do such a thing.” But now, they lose their cool at the drop of a hat and say things like “How could you possibly think that way about me?”
It’s one of the most classic signs of a sly person when their go-to defense mechanism is to try to turn the tables and make you feel guilty instead. Never mind their blatant sneaky phone behavior, they’re going to make you feel bad about suspecting anything in the first place.
If this rings a bell and reminds you of your relationship arguments with your partner, then your problem runs deeper than the argument you two were having. Somebody who is in the clear and knows they’re doing the right thing can maintain their cool, look you in the eye, and convince you of the same. But if their instant response is anger and frustration every time you gently bring up a problem, there is something that they are not telling you.
6. Their stories never add up
The last thing that Tracy is, in her live-in relationship, is ignorant. From the moment Hunter walks into the house to their goodnight kiss before they doze off to sleep, she lovingly pays attention to everything he says and does. Owing to that, she started noting inconsistencies in the things he would tell her. When someone lies in a relationship, you’re going to see the gaps in their stories sooner rather than later.
He said he’d be home late one night because his college buddy had come to town. But when Tracy asked him how dinner went, he said, “Oh, the usual. Everyone was just trash-talking the new boss”, indicating that he had gone out to dinner with his work friends. Besides being confused and annoyed, Tracy was now riddled with the dilemma of how to deal with a sneaky person.
If you’ve ever found yourself in Tracy’s position and asked yourself, “Why do I feel like my boyfriend is being sneaky?”, it’s probably because you have good reason to not believe his stories. A great way to find out if he’s lying or not is by asking him the details of his story about a week or so later. If he was lying, he definitely must have forgotten what he told you, and his stories won’t add up.
7. They seem to wander off alone sometimes
Finally, your partner made the time and mustered the energy to catch a flick with you at the town cinema after work, but you soon see them receive a text and they wander out in the middle of the movie. What’s so urgent that it couldn’t wait until the movie’s happily-ever-after? Clearly, that’s one of the signs of a sneaky partner and sure-shot evidence that there is a kink in your own happily-ever-after.
If they seem to get distracted quickly, are easily bothered, often leave without an explanation, or are having a difficult time being present on dates with you, something is on their mind. It’s not fair that you have to deal with being ignored in this relationship. It’s time to put your head together and figure out how to deal with a sneaky person before things get much worse.
Hopefully, after reading this we haven’t sent you on a spree to search their bags and sniff their shirts. We understand that spotting sneaky girlfriend signs or signs of an aloof boyfriend or any of the signs of dishonesty in a relationship can mess with your head. But before acting too quickly and jumping to conclusions, take some time to count the number of these signs you could resonate with. Then, figure out a good time and place to talk about it and get to the bottom of why your partner is being sneaky in a relationship.