I’m glad I don’t keep a diary. Sometimes, reminders aren’t the best things in the world.
Bad memories. Nasty, painful ones. Fearful drones mingled with sorrow. Each one of them. They’ve done their time, they spurred me to action. Now, they must leave so that I can see that this divorce isn’t about the ex, so that I can move on in life. So that I can deal with the ex without rising to the victim-villain bait. I had risen to it. The ex is supposed to be our happily ever after, so the whole thing hurts awfully.
And one morning I learned that the ex’s story was the mirror opposite – he, the victim and I, the villain who hadn’t understood him and had done a few nasty things of my own.
“It wasn’t that way at all! This is what happened!”– so I thought.
But, “We tell ourselves stories in order to live,” Joan Didion says in The White Album.
Related reading: 10 ways to deal with heartbreak