I am a 26-year-old. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years but before that, we were friends for 6 years. In September we were thinking of settling down together. But the day before yesterday I went out with my tuition teacher to the eye clinic. He is 25 years older than me. I treat him like a teacher. He was just accompanying me to the doctor. There is nothing between us. Just a healthy relationship. When I told my boyfriend about it, he got very angry and doesn’t want to speak to me. He even said goodbye to me and blames me for double-crossing him.
I don’t know what to do. How can I reassure him that there is nothing going on between us?
Snigdha Mishra Says:
Dear Young Lady,
A lover’s tiff: This seems like a lovers’ tiff. It’s okay. These things happen. Maintain your communication with him. We often get angry when our expectations are not met. Explore with him what he wishes for you to do, etc. and what you’re ready to give in this relationship. I mean you will have male friends and [restrict]
you meet them and talk to them. Later on, you may have male colleagues too. Explain to him gradually that despite being in a relationship you will have your friends and life which may not involve him or which he may or may not like.
Give each other space: Give each other time and space to understand what your boundaries are and what both of you are ready to accept and not accept about each other’s life and life choices. Please remember, neither of you should be forced or manipulated into doing anything you don’t want.
The trust factor: A relationship is about building trust, respect, and acceptance for each other. You are two different individuals and you may have different opinions and choices in life which either of you may dislike. It’s only natural. But, as I said earlier, no one should feel compelled to do what they don’t wish to in a relationship.