(As told to Team Bonobology)
It was our second anniversary
“A flower for my lady”, my boyfriend said handing over the “flower” to me. My boyfriend, Indra, has always been unconventional, the very thing that made me like him in the first place. So when he handed me the cauliflower’, I did not know whether to smile or to kiss him.
Just out of curiosity I asked him how he thought of the very smart cauliflower gesture. He shrugged and said he thought I would like it and that he came up with the idea himself.
Really? But I thought it was sweet. Since it was our second year anniversary, I knew he must have planned something. He was always the kind to book tables at a fancy restaurant and honestly, that was what I was expecting this time as well. So the cauliflower joke took me by surprise but since he was trying something different I went along with it.
This flower business was in the morning. He made the effort to come down to my place and this out-of-the-box thinking was really, really sweet of him.
Artful seduction planned throughout the day
He sent me flowers too, at work. Sent through one his friends who also worked in the same office I worked in. The scene was hilarious- the friend comes up to me and recites a corny poem before delivering the flower to me. If you imagine it, it is bad – a guy giving flowers to a woman with a boyfriend. But in reality, it was much, much worse. I had the whole office asking me if everything was fine between Indra and me and I had to narrate how it was his anniversary and he was being sweet – sending flowers through a messenger. At the end of an hour, even my manager knew about the whole scenario. When I called Indra to thank him for the flowers, he said there were more to come.
Oh, more surprises? Yay!
Half through the day, Indra’s friend told me he got the idea off the internet specifically, when he saw a guy propose to his girlfriend on Youtube.
Now, I love my boyfriend, but he has major anxiety. If he plans something and the plan does not fall through, he suffers bouts of anxiety.
After I get back from office, I see the lights on at my place
When I go inside, I see the whole house lit with little rice lights. And the smell of butter chicken hovered in the air. Indra cooked occasionally and the fact that he prepared a meal really pleased me.
In the bedroom I see petals of roses making a pathway to my bed. I opened a bottle of wine and was getting in the mood. Out came Indra with a bathrobe on and I assumed he was wearing nothing underneath. It was a nice change of action since it was always me pulling that trick.
“How do you like the butter chicken?” he asked. He had a sultry, seductive voice on and even though I laughed inside, I did not show it on the outside. He was stepping out of his comfort zone to make me happy and I just went along with it.
“It must taste good”, I answered. “But off with your robe now.”
We sat on the couch and started making out
I could tell he was uncomfortable, so I started taking his robe off. When I opened his robe, his skin was looking out of the normal. He had this huge, round red rashes on his skin that looked like it must be itchy.
Turns out the robe had not been washed for quite some time and the dust gave him an allergic reaction. But he was persistent and would not let his allergies ruin the night. So after taking a shower together, he led me to the bedroom and excused himself. I was pretty dizzy with the wine and thought he might be bringing the food.
But out he came, naked as the day he was born, whipped cream on his nipples and whipped cream covered down there. And with the same sultry voice he adds “Since you like whipped cream so much…”
No sooner did he say that, than the cream spluttered on the floor. The dialogue, followed by the spluttering was too much for me and I could not hold on to my laughter anymore. So there he stood, cream on his penis, that was slithering away comically, two scoops of nipple cream spluttered on the floor and him standing there, like he was about to burst into tears.
I stopped laughing but the mood was ruined
We had a nice round of butter chicken with parathas. The YouTube video he had seen of whipped cream love making was slandered well by him after the fiasco. Turns out they use shaving cream in movies. The cauliflower trick was his own. The delivery of the flowers trick was from a video he saw online and every other out of the usual things he did was inspired by tutorials.
We ended the night with a lot of chocolate, whipped cream and honey lathering over the body. We are in our fifth year of relationship now and there have been many, many occasions, but this was the one time which is still etched in my mind. For him, it was an embarrassing experience, but for me, it was the sweetest, most innocent thing he has ever done.