I am a 38-year-old divorcee and looking for a match to settle. I interacted with a 41-year-old separated man through a matrimonial site. He showed interest in me. We have been chatting for more than a month now. He’s got some slipped disc issues these days, so whenever we have to meet he cancels the meeting. He has been advised rest. He told me he likes me and is looking forward to meeting me but last week again we cancelled a meeting. After this happened three to four times, I asked him if he wanted us to proceed further but he said that I should go ahead and meet others also; as right now his first priority is his fitness and the recovery may take up to 6 months.
I told him that we could still meet once, but he said even then he would take up to six months to decide. Moving on is not that easy for me either. Men who are up to 42 or 43 years of age need younger girls, maximum up to 35 year old (keeping in mind their biological clocks). Am confused. What should I do?
Dr Prachi says:
I can understand that you like him and might have pinned a lot of hopes on something working out with him. However, his priorities seem to be different from yours right now, so it might not be wise to invest all your expectations with this person. Since you are looking to get married again, I suggest you keep your options open and interact with more people. As such, this person will not commit to anything before 3-6 months, so there’s nothing to lose by meeting and getting to know a few more people.
About the age factor, this does look like a genuine, though slightly unfair, concern with the men, however you can maybe shortlist guys who already have a child or if this subject comes up for discussion you can mention that medical science has made so many advances that now women are attaining motherhood at even ages 40 and beyond. I suggest that you don’t rush into this. Take your time to find the right match and in the meantime use the gap to enhance your skills, work harder at your job, make some new platonic friends to hang out with and pick up some new hobbies. Your life shouldn’t revolve around finding a partner. When you do all these new things, you’ll meet more like-minded and open minded people! :)
I wish you all the best and hope that you find happiness the second time around!
All the best,