Counselling

Can’t accept husband’s friendship with ex-colleague. What should I do?

Woman in Red

Q: My husband had developed feelings towards his ex colleague. It was through chats and calls. Nothing went beyond that. That lady is also married and has a kid. When they realised they were on the wrong path, they decided to restrict it to only friendship. My husband told me this, as he wanted honesty. When he told me this I was pregnant with our second kid. I couldn’t take it that the lady is still in his life, as his best friend though. Now I’ve had my baby and still have problems accepting their friendship. I also tried to end my life, being fed up of all these issues. Please advise me what to do. My husband has lots of women friends, as he’s very friendly. I gave him so much freedom and never expected him to go this way. Ours is a 12-year love marriage. Can I trust him again? What is the guarantee that they will remain as friends in future?

A: I understand that you are going through a hard time with your partner. Giving up on your life is not a solution to the problems you are facing. Before taking any decision regarding your life, you should think ahead of time about your two kids whose future will be at stake once you take any drastic step regarding your life. Therefore, you should consider all implications of your decisions especially on your children’s life. They need your support and care. You need to understand that relationships are fragile and require effective communication between both the partners. You should try to talk to your husband regarding his friendship with his colleague. If you are unable to do so, you can also take professional help by visiting a marital therapist, who might help you solve your problems or arrive at a consensus and thus build trust between you both.

Shuchi Singh Kalra feels the degree to which she feels jealous is an indicator of how deeply she feels for someone. Read how she explains this theory in her confessions

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