Marriages are a lot of work.They are even more work when you marry the wrong kind and for the wrong reason.While there are few absolutes some things are important to be sure of.
Unfortunately, there really is no secret formula to finding your Prince Charming.But you can check whether frog a.k.a Boyfriend is a Prince Charming in disguise.
This checklist is more useful if you know each other for some time and is as useful in choosing the love of your life at college or on a matrimonial site.I married my best friend from Medical College.Before getting married I knew him for 7 years and were best buddies for five.
Reader’s Digest was a favorite magazine where relationship tips were plenty.
A favorite quote I still remember
Marry someone you can’t live without.
Not someone you can live with! Marriage is not an easy relationship.It has all the masala of making a nuclear bomb.
Love sex, jealousy possessiveness ego you say it has it.So how to find the right person for you.
I made a list.Yes really I had a secret list
On one side of the paper, I wrote everything I wanted in my hubby.In two columns.Must have and may have.
Must have qualities:
Makes me feel happy and peaceful: The person you spend your life with needs to buzz at the same frequency as you do.Attraction: This one is a no-brainer, right?Attraction is a must!
Honest and Good: When you are with a good person you understand.
Responsible about money and not afraid of earning it!
Believes in God
Supportive and encouraging
Can Do attitude
Not afraid of housework sharing: I would have gone mad otherwise.
Gets along with people without losing his own.
Knows how to untangle messy twines and other messes.
Can handle my family without breaking into a sweat!
Likes reading (My hubby can read his medical books all day but doesn’t read story books !)
Tall and pleasant.
The other side had everything I didn’t want:
Erratic in nature.
Insecure about my success
Not supportive nor encouraging
Makes me insecure
Irresponsible attitude towards money.This can make me see red!
Not believing in mutual growth!
I read a book which said:
The stupidest reason to be separate from a good man, is him forgetting to get you gifts!
Most men don’t remember at least after the first few years.The rest need to be told specifically what you need
And the third category will remember that and forget everything else.
At the final decision-making process remember, marriages have to be lived on earth.After your parents, your partner will have the most effect on your growth your personality and how happy you are.
Until you can trust him until his vibes gel with yours, happiness can be a challenge!Until there is love and attraction relationships cannot survive.
I started with trust because true love can never be there without unconditional trust.Nurture it and guard it.
Love is a beautiful emotion. Mutual Love between partners is God’s blessing and does need heavenly intervention.The relationship and needs to be fiercely protected and lovingly nurtured.
Until you know what you want and tell the Universe, you will not get it.
While these were all important criteria for me, some of these may be not important for you and you have some others.
What is important are the human qualities be present in both partners and they complement each other.If we were all perfect, we would not need each other.But man and woman are the balancing forces of the world and must work towards balancing roles in love. life and home.
Marriage, after all, needs hard work, but is a lot of magic too!
That means you have to work on it to keep it shining and warm.That’s what my part two of this post is about.