Q: We were young in school so we left sex for later, both of us were virgins then. Since I came to college, there have been communication gaps, and we had a lot of fights, loads of them. I had a serious fight with her about how she wasn’t giving me time, and she stopped talking for 3 months because I was rude. Recently, when I tried to make peace with her, she shrugged me off initially, then said she had sex with a stranger. Even then I wanted to go back, but she has been mean to me. I want to commit suicide, what should I do?
A: Hi there! First of all, suicide is NEVER an answer to anything. What will you gain by attempting to take your life? Do you seriously have nothing else worth living for? Rather than escaping from the issues in your relationship, it’s more fun to work through them, try it! Now, about the issue you’ve been having. You said “since I came to college” so I’m assuming this has turned into a long distance relationship where you don’t actually meet frequently? If so, let me tell you that communication gaps are very normal. When we move from school to college, suddenly our world expands and we realise that there are a lot many more people and experiences in life. In this case, especially if both partners are in different places, they experience different things and grow at different paces which gives rise to misunderstandings and communication gaps. My suggestion would be that first, you find out if she actually means it when she says that she slept with a stranger or she’s just saying it to spite you. Second, since you have mentioned that despite your attempts she has been mean to you, I suggest you ask her straight away if she indeed wants to be with you anymore. It’s highly possible that in the time you have spent apart, both of you have started wanting different things from life and your relationship.
Life coach Sanjeev Trivedi lists 10 ways to deal with heartbreak.
But it’s NOT the end of the world and it doesn’t have to end on an ugly note. You’re not kids anymore, so just have an adult conversation with her, without getting all worked up, and if you mutually agree that it’s not working out, part ways on a positive note. You have a long and exciting life ahead of you, this is not a full stop! All the best!
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