The lady is honest in her feelings–so, what’s the point in jumping on her. Sex, I do agree, is a bodily need if one is not enjoying it with the spouse or is not satisfied. As long as she is not hurting others, being discreet and getting what she wants to get on the side is probably not bad IMO.
You may not like my comments–be prepared for it. BTW, I am a man writing about this important topic.
I am not supporting the lady blindly either, but I am pointing to the realities in life after observing people for many years in many cultures.. I am now 60, seen enough in life in many countries–but this is a topic of great interest in human behavior to me. so, pls excuse me if i sound prescriptive. . I am interested in your reaction as well, and I will appreciate it if you would think before you blast me. I am interested what you think as an individual, not as someone who is sticking to some norms–think for the individual who is in bad shape, what would you do?. For example—
I know many couples whose marriages have been arranged, some in love marriages, who have terrible sex lives. In the society she is talking about, where sex is a taboo before marriage and It is too late to realize that the husband has premature ejaculation issues, or has a very small penis to satisfy her physically (yes, there are other methods–but to go on with the whole life without a really good session?). Pornography is not helping either as everyone now knows what could be a good sex and it is all over the Internet. These issues are real but many do not want counseling. In this society, she is talking about , many cannot even talk to the spouses.Then whats the alternative –think about it. Yes, divorce and be lonely—may be. (men go to brothels or gentlemen’s clubs–where do women go?)
Also, I agree with many postings here–a good conversation with the partner helps, in the long run. In today’s relationships one can discuss issues before the marriage with the partner. Once the kids are born, it is too late again–as divorces hurt the kids more than the spouses involved. Men escape and pretend there are no issues. how about women?
One more point of interest–once a person gets involved with a good sex partner and enjoys very good sex, it is easy for her or him to try again with others. (like many in these marriages, ignorance is indeed a bliss in matters of sex). As some one told me once, it is a question of opportunity and that he or she gets away with it, the person would try again and again. once a cheater , always a cheater.
so, my advice to people is this: Try to figure out a way to turn lemon into lime juice–if you have loved someone and married him/her, Better to stay with him/her (it is too much of emotional investment to try again with another and time lost–no guarantee the next one would work). Be open and communicate with the spouse about your needs, slowly make him/her understand. Role play in the bed room, improve sex while figuring out what turns him/her on. Strategist before you come up with an action plan. . If he/she really loves you, you will be allowed to try sex just for the that purpose only. The love stays with the person you loved and married; lust can wander and fulfill your needs, if you do this right.
Trust me– there is good chance, it would work. Mind over matters!!! after all, sex is a mind game.Get that need out of the way , what ever works for you–and you can focus on doing good things for yourself, your family and help others around you.
a well wisher
Marked as spam