I thought I had found my perfect match
At 24, I married the man I was in love with. It was my first relationship, and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him when he proposed.
We were of the same age and had met through family. Just out of college, we were trying to find a foothold in life. That was a concern for my father, who like any other parent, wanted an established man for his daughter. We had to work hard on convincing my father about this. His family had some mixed reactions to our decision of tying the knot. Finally the consent came in and I began an amazing journey with my husband.
The first few years were wonderful. After a registered marriage, we started living together on and off. The social marriage got deferred due to a couple of reasons, including my father’s ill health and our lack of finances, for another year. During that period, I got pregnant. But again since we were not living together all the time, and were still financially unstable, we had no other option but to terminate the pregnancy. We decided to wait for some time before we planned a family. Eventually we never made one.
We were the best of friends, shared the best of moments together, and we were both building dreams and working upon realising them. He more than me. Always sincere towards his work, he was a self-made man.
Related reading: There’s no such thing as a love marriage or an arranged marriage
Then he had an affair
But amidst all this, something went wrong. After about 6 years of our marriage, he strayed. He had an extramarital affair with a much younger girl.
My world crashed. I came back to my parents’ home. For me it was over. Slapped by life, I crumbled and fell. He came to my parents’ place, spoke to them and apologised. My parents thought I should give him a chance. I loved him very much and complied. Everyone deserves a second chance.
However, coming back and trying to bridge the gap became an impossible task. Trying to reach out to each other in vain, the distance kept increasing. Each time I tried to walk by his side, he pushed me away.
Each time I tried to walk by his side, he pushed me away.
Mentally, physically. Our sexual compatibility had been wonderful in the initial years, but our bodies no longer connected either. My marriage was finally over after two decades…in all ways.
We tried to get back but failed
I was left with a bleeding heart, torn and tattered, and I built a wall around my heart. I took to drinking, smoking. Love lost,love-starved, I began to have meaningless flings, confusing my relationships, messing up friendships.
However, life had its own plans, and I reconnected with an old friend. Though he had some feelings for me years ago, we had not really been in touch. He suggested we try to be there for each other, with no commitments, no false promises, no fairy-tale dreams.
I realised that his faith in me was just the same as it was 30 years back. After almost three decades, he was just as happy to see me as he was years back. His indomitable trust in me made me gain the faith I had lost gradually back again. He just kept pushing me to go on in my own way. With no dreams for tomorrow, I couldn’t have asked God for someone better than him who would just walk by my side.