Being married is being valiant

1. Trust and Build Trust

Every now and then after the nth inspection (and removal of anything that could be a sign of trouble) of the call logs, WhatsApp, Facebook feed, Gmail and Outlook accounts, planting a few messages to your friends praising you oh-so-better half and duly alerting your other halves, quarters, three fourths or other fractions of the planned misadventure: leave your phone unattended. Make sure she finds it – give her enough time for the inspection.

Reap the benefits later. Such an act goes twice as further as any act of kindness.

2. Respect and Earn Respect

Every now and then, do something special for her. Cook something nice (but use an infinite number of utensils) or do the utensils (after having burnt something to the level that the food and the metal fuses)

Demand appreciation for whichever part you did right. If denied your due, play the victim card.

3. Empower her

A woman loves being in control.

Teach her everything she claims to be your department. The phone recharge, the electricity bill, refueling the car (and occasionally even getting the tires inflated), getting the weekly Old Monk quota!

Give her the power. Appreciate her. While she is at these tasks, click her pictures  and circulate on family WhatsApp groups with tag line “Fit hai na kudi!”

4. Pamper her

She is probably doing 10 times your work, give her the much needed back rub. And while at it, ensure the ambience is nice, you are showered, shaven and smelling nice. Music, candles and if possible a glass of wine.

If you get lucky this evening, remember that part was just co-incidental, all you wanted was to give a back rub!

5. Be sexy and make her feel sexy

Do your thing man. You know it and her best!

P.S. Do check your insurance coverage, just saying!