I clearly remember how my new journey of marriage has begun. Battling my husband’s mood swings, anxiety issues and blame game coupled with my in-laws’ obsession with formalities has been, no doubt, gruelling. I have felt guilty, remorse stricken and heartbroken at my slightest fault.
“The secret to a happy marriage (or, shall I say, for a married woman) lies in adjustment and compromise. Being my daughter you should know your duties..”
Right from Day 1 I have tried to adhere to my mother’s commandment but in the process I have found myself hayward, lost in household chores and pleasing everyone but myself.
I have attempted to be perfect in every role I am supposed to play. However, my perspective to life, especially marriage, changed after the birth of my son. In fact, the golden rules of marriage to me now comprise,
‘Charity begins at home’ and I should first respect and love myself. To make others happy I should be at peace with myself. I cannot carpet the entire world but I can definitely get myself a pair of shoes!
Accepting each other as they are, with their imperfections, helps to strengthen the relationship. Now, when both of us need gallons of patience to handle a 3-year old pint-sized nuclear bomb, we have discovered the benefits of seeing ourselves as ourselves.
Looking at life through our own filters is necessary. We should never judge the other based on the kibitzers. At any cost we must shun all the negative criticism lest it creates a polluted home.
There are no fixed rules in marriage, but if we can tune ourselves with the present, and decide to be happy, we can. When this gets fulfilled every other related condition is easily met with.