Tango she glided on to the stage gracefully – a beautiful Bailarin, a vision to behold in her red skirt dress. And as she was joined by her smartly dressed Guapo (Handsome Man), they began one of the most sensual dances invented by mankind. Their smooth movements followed each other so effortlessly and seamlessly. So much so that when the leader became the follower and when follower the leader was hard to tell. As I watched this beautiful Tango, I couldn’t but help myself from comparing it with a marriage. The ethereal images of their dance are still playing in my mind as I sit down to write The Golden Rules of Marriage which I have gleaned from their performance. So here they are; some inspirations I drew from that beautiful dance.
1. Partner’s delight should be your goal- When you enter the dance arena, it’s not for showing your skills or for your own enjoyment. The goal should be to delight your partner with your dance moves.
2. It’s for Fun – If you are not enjoying the dance your partner will know it immediately. Leave all tension aside and dance and your partner will enjoy it too.
3. Treat every Dance as your last– Every time you get on the dance floor, give your best to it. Be present at the moment. Forget past and future when you start that dance.
4. Help each other in pushing Limits – Be the support and motivator your partner need when the dance gets tough. Cheer them and encourage them and together you will pull it through.
5. Lead and follow alternately – Allow your partner to show off their best moves in the dance. Be content to play the second lead sometimes, when you know it will improve the dance.
6. KISS – Keep it Simple Stupid. And nothing is more important than this in a dance where you both have to show your best in tandem. Don’t bite more then you can chew. Keep the steps simple before you get to the more complex ones.
7. Maintain equilibrium – If you are a more accomplished dancer then your partner, don’t show it off. Dance at their level or help and support them to improve their level gradually. Remember, you are here to make the dance a pleasurable experience for both of you.
8. Don’t overexert yourself- The goal of dance is to first establish and then not break the connection with partner and music at each moment of the dance. The connection should be maintained at all costs.
It’s up to you, the reader, to apply these rules in your marriage and I promise soon your life will be as beautiful, sensuous and dynamic as a Tango.