How do I convince my parents for my inter-caste marriage?

Snigdha Mishra
indian woman worried


Dear Ma’am,

My parents are not agreeing to my inter-caste marriage with my boyfriend. I want to convince them. His family is supportive and we both are in government jobs. I am 27, he is 28. We’ve known each other for 3 years… My parents are somewhat conservative. But they are not agreeing because they live in a small city and fear society. What to do to convince them?

Snigdha Mishra says:

Dear Lady,

This is such a common issue with inter-caste relationships. There are so many couples who struggle just as you are doing. I can understand what you must be going through.

It’s good that the two of you are committed and his parents have agreed to this alliance. Parents may have a value system different than ours and hence they may disapprove of our choices in life. It just means that they’re different and nothing else. Respecting and emphasising this point, again and again, will help you see things from your parents’ perspective.

This will enable you to stay focused, not on parents’ disapproval, but why and what you like in the guy, his qualities as a human being. When you speak to your parents about the good that you see in your man and how his caste is of no importance to you, dwell on this. Also, help them understand that your happiness is very important and you’ll be happy with this guy because of the bond and relationship you share.

Please also understand that you’’re an adult and who you spend your life with has to be your choice.

All the best!


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